This may have been addressed already in the FAQs for Newbies, but I haven't seen it.  I'm fairly new to the hobby, but I have already had a personally awkward/disappointing experience.  I made arrangements to see a provider, and when I arrived at her location it was obvious that the photos on her website (which blurred her face) were very, very flattering. She "resembled" the woman in the pics, but they were far from an accurate representation of her.  If I had known her current/actual appearance, I would not have scheduled an appointment.  I had read reviews (several reviews rated her "highly recommend"--there was only one negative review, but it said she was not the same woman as the one in the ads); I thought had done my homework.  I would have liked to cancel on the spot, but I did not want to be unfair to her nor did I want to experience any kind of unpleasant scene.  Still, the $$$ donation could have gone to another provider with whom I would have preferred to share time.  If I were paying for some other service and discovered it had been misrepresented, I would expect to have the opportunity to cancel.  What is one's responsibility in a case like this?  Is it just "buyer beware," or may a hobbyist, in good conscience, offer a cancellation fee (and if so, what percentage--if any--is fair)?  Am I wrong to expect a provider to appear as she represents herself on her website?  Should I  be prepared to have this happen from time to time and just chalk it up to experience?  I would appreciate the opinions of more experienced hobbyists as well as the perspective of providers.  Thanks.

The same thing happened to me before I discovered TER, and I proceeded the same way you did. On top of the fact that the girl was not the one in her pics, the experience was really disappointing.

I won't let that happen again. For the most part, I only see well reviewed women. There is one agency I trust. If the management recommends someone new, I'll bite because I know they'll fix it if she doesn't meet their standards.

All that being said, If I did meet a provider and they were not the woman in the pictures, I would excuse myself and walk out. That's bait and switch, plain and simple. If the pictures are of the provider, but are old or no longer accurate then I'd probably do the same thing if I wasn't attracted to her. If I still found her attractive, I'd proceed with the date but mention in a review that she no longer resembles her pictures.

If someone misrepresents, then they are dealing in bad faith and you are under no obligation to consumate. Even this "underground" society is not exempt from basic ethics.

With the help of TER and the many escorts who do show their faces, I think you should be able to read the reviews and see who "looks even better in person" or "must be using pix that are ten years old".
I have met one escort who would never leave until she got a cancellation fee equal to half of what the session would have cost.  She worked for an agency and they sent her on calls where she was never the girl in the ad. She had no hesitation to start yelling loud enough for the neighbors to hear.  Which might help the argument about getting a hotel for the first time.  Its a lot easier to leave, sometimes, than it is to get a psycho bitch to leave your place with out her "hush" money.  
Some escorts won't accept a cancellation fee if you aren't wanting to see her, especially if it is incall and she didn
t have to drive to your place.
If you don't want to pay a fee of any kind, you could try saying, "I'm on call and I'm being paged, I'm so sorry, I must run".  It wouldn't hurt to ad a twenty to that.
I do think that we must realize that you can't please all the people all the time and accept that fact.  
Once a client said to me, "Sorry, but you are older than I thought" and it was probably the same week that a client told me I looked ten years younger than my age. (I know, I know)
Believe me, it really does get easier after the first time or two.

I appreciate all of these suggestions.  This situation was with a touring escort, so it was her incall location.  After this experience, I have considered asking providers if they have a cancellation fee, but I think that might be a red flag suggesting that I'm hard to please or likely to cancel--which is not the case.  But if I'm seeing the provider in the city in which I reside, I certainly do not want any scene, so I guess I just have to roll with the punches.  I thought I had done my homework, and I still wonder how/why this provider had so many "highly recommend" reviews (they were not dated as far back as her pictures seem to have been dated).  Anyway, thank you all for the helpful advice.

Bare I think you sound very polite and fair.
I do believe if the chem isnt right and lets say the pics REALLY are alot different (older enhanced ) indeed the suggestions above would assist in perhaps ending your appointment. I think also ( being a provider) perhaps lets say offering a small thank you would be nice. But not cutting my own rope here - I feel if the provider did not send a more current photo or send one of her full face once you scheduled screened and were locked in ...
perhaps that gratuitiy is not warranted.
I do not show my face on my website it gets hits from all over teh known universe : ) I do however offer recent snaps once someone is sheduled.
Coming from a providers .02 cents -
I mutate. One sec I can look like Marilyn the next Betty. Because I have photographers that do my photos they are more stylized than quick snaps. However I also have candid shots done in my own house with my own digital to offer a balance. I think this helps and I notice alot of providers do this.
To show the glamorous side and then offer a "at home" feel.
xoxo
Good Luck
Mo

yea i agree, I mutate as well because my weight fluctuates drastically. But I always put my accurate weight on my website. My website also has my full facial pics and I always try to keep one full body pic on my site that is within 3 months old.
Personally I would prefer the client expect worse and get better. Guys usually tell me I look much younger than my age (30) and since I have kinda of a silly funny personality it adds to me seeming younger.

i've always thought the more we let providers get away with these stunts the more they will continue to do it.  letting a provider know that this behaviour is intolerable is the right thing to do IMHO



-- Modified on 12/7/2003 11:28:22 AM