You come off as the rascist with your comments.How can you say"I have sadly found throughout my years as a provider that most men( l will say hobbyist since thats the PC term) would rather see a fat, overweight, out of shape white girl over a black or mixed race girl overweight black girl simple because she is "dark". Then you say"And even sadder, we( women of mixed race or color) are critisized because we charge what a we do and are even told to lower our rates because we are not white." Do you know what those comments make you look like? Who has said this in the past? It seems you have a preconcieved notion to what hobbyists are thinking and you are WRONG. To make comments like the ones you made show us you feel you are inferior to white providers. You THINK this. It has never been said.

I am getting tired of the same three providers posting nonsense just to get their names and websites out there. There are 3 of you who constantly complain about nothing. Do you think clients want to spend time with providers who do this? We get this at home from our wives. A provider should have a positive attiude and be willing to show us a good time. You seem like you only want to complain and want us to act as your psychiatrist. Pay a doctor for their time if this is what you are looking for.



-- Modified on 1/15/2006 10:44:11 PM

-- Modified on 1/15/2006 10:47:03 PM

-- Modified on 1/15/2006 10:49:20 PM

times have we heard you rant about being "fat, black, overweight" etc.??? The fact is that girls that look like Victoria's Secret models can usually command higher rates--(all else being equal). Good looking waitresses get bigger tips too. It is ironic that you bring this up on Martin Luther King day. Obviously there is nothing you can do about your ethnicity. You CAN however get a better attitude, and go on a diet. Maybe this will help your self esteem.

to want to know the ethnicity of a provider.  a lot of hobbyists look for ethnic providers. if you are not blonde and young and skinny (and that's most providers) then you have to accept you're going to be a bit of a niche provider with a smaller pool of clients and you may have to market yourself better to be as busy or get the same rates as cookie cutter providers.  but, it is do-able.  if a provider doesn't want to do it, she is choosing to settle for less.  

is that it is all red.  It doesn't care what your skin color is.
Throughout all history, people have found some way to differentiate between each other and them make a career out of hating people for that.  I  like to think that over time that is changing, but some days you read about riots someplace and then you feel like we haven't gotten anywhere in 5000 + years.
Can we make a start on this board?
If we're not here to listen to each other and offer help to each other then what is this for?
As for preferences of men (or women) for people of this or that color, height, weight, etc., that is up to each individual and is not subject to anyone's approval.

How old are you?   Welcome to the real world babe.  How can you not have figured out where your slot is in the caste system yet?  Wake up sweety pie.  Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are at the top of the food chain.  All of the rest of us fall somewhere in line behind them.  Ask yourself, "What is Brad's price?"  (Believe me, He has one).  Then compare your price to that astronomical figure.  That is where you fall in the food chain.  If you can't come to terms with that, then you should insulate yourself in a world of make-believe.  "Our World", as you call it is full of men.  Men operate differently than women.  It does not matter how valuable YOU think you are.  You are competing in a marketplace and race matters in that market.

-- Modified on 1/16/2006 11:19:24 AM

I don't think it's necessarily racism to acknowledge the simple fact that every individual hobbyist will prefer certain types of women over others.  It's a simple matter of taste.  Even those comments, which seem to disturb you so much, re the relative work of white providers versus non-white providers, unless clearly made with racist intent to hurt you, are just another expression of individual taste and preference, however much you disagree with them.  And who knows, the hobbyist making those statements might actually have had some negative experiences which   have prompted him to voice these opinions.

On a personal note, by very best AND very worst experiences have come at the hands of East-Asian providers.  Hard for me to make sweeping generalizations re them with that type of experience.  Likewise, depending upon where the hobbyist lives and/or grew up, he may not have had any dealings with non-white persons and his comments might simply be thought of as the result of a lack of knowledge and narrow life experiences.

I live and was raised in the NYC metro area, so I'm totally used to dealing with persons other than blond-haired, blue-eyed all-American types [in fact, this describes my least favorite type of provider].  My late wife was an a Chinese-American woman, and my longest relationship which did not result in marriage was with an African-American woman [26 months].

Please remember, for every hobbyist who vocally disfavors your characteristics -- mature, voluputous, mixed-ethnic ancestry -- there is a least one other who is drooling at the prospect of meeting a provider with just those charactristics.  Probably more than one, as these are non-mainstream preferences [at least by obvious societal judgements] and those holding them may feel it necessary to keep these opinions to themselves.  You probably have as many fans as detractors, probably more fans than detractors, but you just don't relaize it.

This is your work, and  work produces many, many problems every single day, especially those that involve friction between co-workers.  I [and you] can sulk permanently about this stuff, but I've found it's better to have a thick skin, a short memory, and [most of all] a sense of humor about these things.

For whatever it might be worth to you, I find your ehnic heritage to be a real turn-on [when I hobby, or even mingle socially, I always try to find a woman with an interesting multi-cultural background like yours] and you're very photogenic to boot, great looking hair and a killer rack.  As long as you're personable and  decent conversationalist, what more can a horny guy ask for?

Try to cheer up!  It's just another bad day at the office.  There will be better ones down the
road to make up for it.

Have A Great New Year!

-- Modified on 1/16/2006 3:02:09 PM

Vanessa,

Please don't give the providers a free pass.  I recently went out with a well-reviewed provider whose first screening question to me was "Are you black?"  And this is not unusual for providers to take this line of investigation.  Maybe infrequent, but definitely not unusual.

"A providers rate isnt based on her skin color, or her body size , its based on the level of service they provide. If she is the best at her craft her price should reflect that. The size or color of a provider isnt something a hobbyist should dictate as her fee."

I agree with most of your argument except for the part I quoted.  

A provider's fee is only good as long as men are willing to pay it.  And if you think that the fee of some provider's isn't totally based on their physical appearance, then you are not as smart as I thought you were.  

In a perfect world, experience would be the only thing that matters.  But we live and play in reality.  And the reality is that many guys, like myself, would rather hit a beautiful young woman (regardless of color) than spend time with a mature and curvy woman who knows what she's doing.  It may not be right, but it's just the way it is.

i've been following your messages on this and other boards for some time now and frankly I think you need to find a new career.  All you do is complain about customers.  If they bother you so much, don't see them.  I wanted to see you a long time ago.  But reading your posts offered some insight to your personality and frankly, if I wanted to get with someone this opinionated, I'd just rather see the wife.