This young man walks into a bar that he's never been to before and he goes up to the bartender to order his drink.
While he waits he notices three holes in the bar.
When the bartender returns with his drink he asks what they're for.
She says, "Oh if you stick your p*nis in there you can get a free blow job."
He nods and sticks his p*nis into the first hole. "Mmm," he groans, "that’s nice" before he cums he moves to the second hole.
"Awww, that’s even better," he moans.
Finally he sticks his p*nis in the third and final hole "Oooh yeah that’s the best" he groans as he cums.
Once he gets his pants up he walks over to the bartender and asks who’s under there.
"Well," she says "the first is a blonde, the second is a brunette, and the third is....
an elderly man with no teeth"
Can you top this one???
Maybe...
A guy walks into a bar and orders 10 martinis. He then slams them down, one after another. The bartender remarks, "Wow, I've never seen anyone drink like that. What's up?" The guy replies that he just had his first blowjob. The bartender says, "That's great, a reason to celebrate. Have another, on the house". The guy says, "No thanks, if I can't get the taste out of my mouth after 10 martinis, another isn't going to help".
One Monday morning a mailman is walking in the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and booze bottles.
"Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night." the mailman comments.
Bob, in obvious pain, replies, "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00AM Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood for some drinks and it got a bit wild. Hell, we got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I."
The mailman thinks a moment and says "How do you play that?"
"Well," Bob says, "all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our privates showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is."
The mailman laughs and says"Damn, I'm sorry I missed that."
"Probably a good thing you did." says Bob. "your name came up four or five times."
Back at ya.
A very overweight women wearing a loose shirt with the sleeves torn, out exposing a massive amount of hair from her armpits, walked into a bar. She stood up to the bar,pounded it asking if anyone would buy the lady a drink. Complete silence followed. She again demanded someone buy her a drink. Silence. Finally a little old drunk at the end of the bar asked the bartender to buy the ballerina a drink. She gulped it down and demanded another. The drunk responded again. Now the bartender was curious and he walked over and asked the drunk why he called her a ballerina. His reply was that any lady that could raise her leg that high had to be a ballerina...