Minnesota

How about talking with her?
knotsaway 36 Reviews 251 reads
posted

You said she's been your ATF for a long time (how long is that--months, years?) and in the past she was a solid 9 and sometimes a 10.  I can relate to that, but in my case I haven't experienced the drop off you have, even after several years.  

But if I did experience a drop off with my ATF like you have with yours,  I'd talk with her about it. There's many possible reasons for that to happen.  I'd want to understand her thoughts and feelings about it before I made any moves.  If I know her as well as I think I do, I believe she'd appreciate my asking her about it.  Maybe your ATF would appreciate it also.

fearlessfury2921 reads

What to do when the sessions with your long time atf seem to be deteriorating. Over the last few months it seems our sessions have been more and more rushed some of our usual activities have been shortened if not eliminated altogether time even shaved off its ok but not great anymore.Been seeing her for a longtime and things have went from a solid 9 with a 10 from time to time to a 7 or so lately. I've been asking myself is it time to just forget it and move on, I hate to see anything I do in life go backwards in life as do most people,but things feel like there slipping away and although my needs are still being somewhat met, I'm beginning to feel it's getting more impersonal as time goes on.      Sure you can always look elsewhere and play that game but I got tired with the pitfalls of that game especially with all the bs that's out there along with what feels like the increased heat from LE bull suit pics and even reviews lately. I think my only real option is to just sit back for awhile and do nothing and take my mind off the hobby.Any suggestions I'm sure others have experienced this or maybe a provider could chime in.

You said she's been your ATF for a long time (how long is that--months, years?) and in the past she was a solid 9 and sometimes a 10.  I can relate to that, but in my case I haven't experienced the drop off you have, even after several years.  

But if I did experience a drop off with my ATF like you have with yours,  I'd talk with her about it. There's many possible reasons for that to happen.  I'd want to understand her thoughts and feelings about it before I made any moves.  If I know her as well as I think I do, I believe she'd appreciate my asking her about it.  Maybe your ATF would appreciate it also.

BunnyPhallus274 reads

Move on. You are just  $ to her and she is bored with you.

loveyourtouch195 reads

Yep.  Probably stringing-a-long hoping for a guy who will pay all the bills so she doesn't need to work.  That didn't happen so she's shopping for another dupe.

Try other girls. You may find someone better. But keep your current ATF in mind, and see if she tries harder after you ignore her for a while. Maybe she'll reach out to you. Who knows, even offer you a discount.  

If it's a matter of falling into a rut, time apart can help. Then again, if you go back you could encounter the exact same problem. In which case you might want to forget her.  

As another poster said, there's always talk. No way for me to know she's even aware of your problem.

DecriminalizeIt227 reads

There is no promise or expectation of monogamy in this.  
There is no cause for jealousy.
I have long term regulars and would not miss my visits with them for all the world.  Yet, I know that they have other clients and even are refreshed by them.  Occasionally, I need variety too.  But, I come back to them for the chemistry that makes them my favorites.

fearlessfury223 reads

So far I thank all of you who have commented some very good advice and viable solutions, I certainly have somethin to think about.

I would move on. If she is slacking and not doing her JOB. Yes it is a JOB.
 You are paying for a service and that service is lacking and she is not appreciated any more by her.
Looks  like in your post it's not just a one time thing. ( off day )  if she does not  want to earn your hard earned $
give it to another provider that will be happy to have a regular .

Obviously she's treated you very well until recently and in your shoes I'd not want to give up on that without trying to see if it is something she's willing to address.  Worst case, you realize this "relationship" has run its course and it's time to move on.

Agreed. Talk to her about it and if things don't change, ignore her for awhile and try other gals. Best to air it because there may be things unrelated to you that is going on and affecting your time together. Give her the chance to change. If she doesn't, you will know you are just another number to her. She will get the point if other ladies are seeing you and either step up or drop off.  

If you are not happy, you should do something. It may be things you are doing or her or plenty of others things going on. So why not see what it is before completely leaving? After you air it and nothing changes, time to go.

In one case, I think the provider was getting ready to leave the business and she cancelled on me a couple of times. I took the hint and moved on like she did.

In another, what seemed like a great connection kind of turned into something different, like the context was kind of dropping and I was expected to be more of a friend and less of a client. Again, I just stopped calling.

The thing to remember is that in most cases, it's not being taken personally by the provider. I'm not as cynical as some on the boards are, but if there is a minute or two of wondering where a certain client is, it's likely dismissed with a shrug and she moves on.  

Another thing is, if you respond by not calling anymore, you're not moving backwards, you're moving forwards, to new things and experiences, in the hobby or out of it, should you so choose. If you think you need to step away, you should. You should be seeking the best value for your money. If that happens to be saving it, that's just fine. Good luck.

IJMiggs286 reads

Maybe it's time to change things up.  You will have more fun and she collects more $$$.

IvanaHump264 reads

This is what you've said : 'our sessions have been more and more rushed some of our usual activities have been shortened if not eliminated altogether time even shaved off its ok but not great anymore.Been seeing her for a longtime and things have went from a solid 9 with a 10 from time to time to a 7 or so lately.'

If I were you I'd focus on what you've paid for, does the provider short you time that you paid for, as in-less then an hour, or 90mi. Or whatever you usually get?
If I had time shaved off of anything I've paid for I would for sure say something the very same day. If it's you noticing her off clock time has shortened, well that might be her issue right there, and it's always better to talk then to breed resentment, maybe it's as simple as her outside life might've picked up.

  As far as activities, this sounds strange and has my curiousity, I can only assume things like Greek are not as readily offered like they used to be. This is only a guess everybody's diffrent, but I always read about providers needing some warning to feel comfortable enough to do that.
 
It's weird tho, that it may have been offered and then pulled, but heck maybe she used to never eat and now she's getting healthy again or something like that and maybe does need some warning for prep time.  
                           Like most people have already said- the key is communication. It's such a simple but so commonly overlooked thing and if you can't bring it up in person drop an email about it to her.  
Sometimes it might seem like going on the board will pay off twice by having her see your complaints and getting advice from others, but you don't know how much she looks at the board and who knows if she'll know your alias, so yeah it's always good to make sure she got the message even if you move on.

Wondering, "why doesn't she make half the effort she did for your first visit or for any other 1 time hourly client when you've  been great paying, respecting, and loyal client".  

Heard, "I'm able to be myself with you" which is flattering but is equivalent to saying - I'm not going to bother getting made up or dressed up for you,  wear lingerie, or partake in best menu options because she knows you'll be back even after a sub par effort.  

Stepped up your game to compensate? Paying for more time outside the bedroom, travel, or gifts only to find nothing changed except you're now putting in 10 times the $ and effort for more avoidance...like overnights with a well planned fun time out, then 1 round before the rollover and she sleeps as long as possible to avoid morning playtime.  

Talking for 90% of your paid visit because you're genuinely interested in her life, then barely sneaking in a quickie before you leave on time since you respect her time (and had no offer to stay).  

Whether it's a natural progression or an intentional escort strategy, once some ladies know you're a sucker that will keep coming back to treat them generously, you're going to get less effort. You'd hope you'd get their best if you've given yours but not in this business.  

Of course this never happened to me. LOL. Sorry for the detour - Yes, just sit back or ask her for a recommendation for another provider since it seems she's not into you anymore. Go try others. Variety is the best hobbyist strategy.

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