Hi,
I am very new to this industry and I am trying to ensure I set my expectations appropriately if I choose to partake in it. The reviews here are very helpful, but I've also noticed that the clientele have a over inflated sense of their sexual impact on their companions (e.g. climaxing through penetration alone or 2 minutes of DATY) The most attractive part of a companion for me is that two people come together and enjoy themselves in a legitimate and honest way. For instance, I would prefer feedback from my companion so I can learn to please her, such that our encounters continue improve and get more exciting as we understand each other better. Legitimate attraction is something that is important to me. What I don't want is an auto-scream orgasm machine that gives a good blow job -- especially for $600-$1000 per encounter. Are my expectations normal and realistic? Or is this kind of arrangement something where I suspend disbelief and enjoy the services provided? Thanks!Very wise insight from the reviews. They can be overly positive to curry favor. Especially with women who offer discounts for them.
I have to be honest, I've always looked for these as well, but expect they are fewer and further between in my travels. I'm sure ladies will disagree and many will honestly want that. But, it used to be that not everyone could be as choosey, so both benefited from that. I think this has changed due to things like SB sites.
Part of the problem I've found is as you want more, you're talking about seeing people where less is often more.
Another part is the human connection. You can draw firm lines and be prepared to walk, but I've found that far too many still have their issues.
You're going to be accused of being the type to get too connected, which is certainly a problem, but it's as much on the other side. You don't know this person and if they get to counting on you or get to know too much about you thinking they can play games with you, manipulate you, or worse. Can't tell you how many will talk about others in a personal way to make you think you have a deeper connection... run from that.
And, since we've all got issues, don't think the well reviewed are all 'normal.'
The above doesn't apply to my current friends btw which if you can PM, feel free. There are many others that are very professional that can do that, but, many are looking for an out. And, they'll spend the time to try to find out if you're it, but, if you're not it, someone else is, and your time and asking for 'more' eventually is preventing her from finding that.
DO NOT enter the hobby with goals or aspirations of wanting or hoping to get her off....She is not there for your oral or dick skills. She is there for you. You have a physical need, she has a financial need.
Three rules, 1. Know your boundaries and why you are there. 2. Respect her rules and time. 3. Have fun and act like a gentleman.
If she leads you to believe that you got her off then she did a great job. If she gets you off then that's why you called her.
That being said, sometimes Chemistry is there and sometimes not. I treat the ladies I see as best I can, am a gentleman (as the hobby goes), tip, and express my gratitude. I treat them well and in return they treat me well. I've been doing this on and off for almost 20 years.
Don't over think the connection or chemistry thing. Be polite, courteous, and have fun and you will have the time of your life. Watch your feelings. It's easy to confuse a good time and compliments for something it's not.
Also, I recommend that you avoid ladies from a certain website. Rhyms with lack sage. Plenty of women here, on EROS and p411 to get to know.
Good luck and if I have not said it already, mutual respect, be clear on expectations and boundaries, and keep It fun. The moment you start stressing over the hobby or a lady you met is the minute you need to take a break and reexamine your goals and priorities.
Peace!!!
Well, to be clear it isn't so much about developing a close emotional chemistry with future aspirations or expectations. That would be sort-of a perverse way of looking at a service you are paying for, after all. However, physical chemistry certainly enhances the overall experience, and I think most people would agree with that.
However, you do make a good point that it shouldn't matter since this is a service, and we should respect what they are doing and let them do their job for you -- they are professionals after all.
Thank you for your thoughts.
I like your rules! Thanks for sharing your ideology.
My (unasked for) point of view:
Everyone has different boundaries, yes. I think you can find providers who are emotionally intelligent at every price point. It just may take a little trial and error.
It is really just like any other service (finding the right therapist, masseuse, etc): some people you click with, and some you don't. To expect relations outside of a paid time frame crosses boundaries. But to maximize intimacy potential in the session? Why, that is what we are here for!
Personally, the emotional intimacy and therapeutic aspect of my job is what I love the most.
If you are unsure about what is/isn't okay, ask! Some of us are kissing experts, but not big into cuddling. Others of us will rock your world, but can't keep a straight face during dirty talk. When in doubt, follow our lead.
Keep in mind that emotional boundaries (info about our private lives) are just as real as physical ones. Some of us will listen to you talk about your home life, but are tight-lipped about our own.
Just like in dating, building a comfortable rapport takes time. Just like in dating, sometimes two people just don't have chemistry. They may fumble, knock heads, or endure the dreaded awkward silence.
Any professional I know does not take this to heart. In fact, I have been known to play 'matchmaker' with my clients and my colleagues, and recommend a friend.
I think you are coming into this asking the right questions, and showing the desire to be sensitive to our comfort levels. With this mentality, you shouldn't have a problem finding a lovely creature to vibe with.
Best of Luck,
Eliza :*
Sadly, I think a lot of the guys seem to want the auto-scream (fake) orgasm machine -- so some ladies behave accordingly. If this is not what you want, then I suggest looking closely at the reviews of the ladies who interest you. To me the key is to find a lady or 2 you like, and to build a realistic mutually-beneficial friendship overtime. Good luck and have fun! If it's not fun, there is no reason to do it.