"Is"

If a blowjob does not count as sexual relations, then a handjob does not count as cheating. Unless of course your SO does not agree.

Of course, she wasn't willing to change her abstinence act.

She didn't have to be logical, of course

You go to an MP to get a massage, right?  So, what if they massage everything?  It's still a massage.  

That makes me think of a massage therapist I knew a few years ago.  She was probably a Flower Child in her youth; had a great personality and fantastic massage skills. Her philosophy was that our bodies are beautiful, every part of them, and she believed a great massage involved massaging everything, on a man or a woman (if they were comfortable with it).  Of course I was very comfortable with it. She'd segue into the HJ like it was just another part of the massage. She always remained fully clothed, and I never touched her in a sexual manner as that didn't seem appropriate.  She retired a few years ago, and I miss her.

is whether your SO thinks it's cheating.  The rest is justification and rationalization