I am starting to say "no thanks" if the screening process becomes too difficult.  

Most gals make it very clear on their websites exactly what they need for references.  The easiest is 3+ oks on date-check or p411, or 3+ reviews  here on TER.  Telling me you love fishing or have a special tattoo is interesting but in no way useful when screening.  Also telling me you know Jane and Sue means nothing to me; their TER #s tell me everything I need to know to confirm they are real and the best way to contact them to confirm they have met you.  Playing it safe.

Peace and Love, Kayli

.....I enjoy another profession, and a gentleman's place of employment is more important to me than references.  While I ask gentlemen to provide a reference, I do not alays contact them.

   In addition, I adore gentlemen who take time to introduce themselves, before forwarding my appointment form.  Most of my dates are multi hour, and include social time.  At the very least, I hope we share enough in common to carry on a conversation, before moving to a more intimate setting.  

   How many e-mails are necessay?  One to three.  I never reserve dates without a phone call beforehand, so I believe that might eliminate one e-mail.

Hugs and Kisses,
Kelly

Kelly's response to you is just one example.

When I send an initial e-mail, I always use the title: Appointment Request (short and to the point).

I then let the lady know why I am interested (found her ad, heard good things about her, etc.) and having read her website (and therefore her verification requirements), I proceed to give her information about my references (usually TER handle, e-mail address and website address. More recently, I have also included the TER ID number of my references where applicable). I do not belong to P411, Date-Check or any other reference site but I do give the lady my TER handle so she can look at my reviews and let her know to feel free to contact other ladies who I've seen if she wishes.

I ask for a specific day and time but also inform the lady that I am flexible on day and time if need be (a distinct advantage to planning ahead).

That is my first e-mail to a lady. As you can see, I try to give as much information upfront as possible so we don't have to go back and forth any extra times. This has worked well for me for many years.

NOTE: There are some ladies who require certain information before considering seeing a hobbyist. It is my decision whether or not to give the lady that information. Many times, I have missed out seeing certain ladies because of this, but my privacy is more important to me. This can also cause additional e-mails.

Lastly, after a date is set, I usually e-mail the day before to confirm. If I receive no answer, I proceed accordingly depending on the prior correspondences and the given situation.

So to directly answer your question, "as many as it takes". I understand not every guy does things the way I do either but I much prefer to be succinct and to the point and let the chips fall where they may. Most times I win (I.e. - get the appointment) but sometimes I lose (no appointment). That's life and I simply move on from there.

Good luck to you Kaylie, nice topic for a post

Some ladies are very up front with their screening requirements... and some are not.  I do believe in an introductory email, to tell her something about me, and to see if we might be compatible.  I can give my P411 handle (or at least let her know that I have one), and/or my TER handle, and a couple of references.  I'm not comfortable giving out employment information, so if that's on her website, I don't even bother writing to her.

I'm also going to include something about what I'm looking for, and why I think we might be a good fit.  I will offer up some possible dates & times, though this can obviously vary; I try to give her an idea of my level of flexibility (e. g., "I can do anytime Tuesday afternoon, but Wednesday is not possible; I would prefer 2 hours, from 2 PM to 4 PM").
 
There shouldn't be too many emails needed for screening -- more than three exchanges  is pushing it, I think.  Fiddling with details can be more intensive, but you ought to know fairly soon if this is actually going to happen.We might need to exchange some info to ease the screening process.  We might also need to negotiate exact times.  I will lay out my expectations for confirming ("I will email you the day before to confirm, and text or email at an agreed-upon time to get a room number").  I would be very surprised if there were less than three emails, and have had several more when something needed to be worked out.  

Obviously, if I haven't booked a time, I'm not going to expect extended communication... but if my screening checks out and I've booked two hours, I might want to make a clothing request beforehand, for instance.  This might need some back-and-forth, depending on how specific my request might (hypothetically) be -- in practice, I've never asked for anything more specific than "black thigh-highs and 4-inch stilettos", but it's possible that other people might reasonably be more specific

I usually delete old ok's (from more than a year ago) so it might only show 5 but really had more

As someone relatively new I appreciate various methods of verification.  Employment reference has worked best for me to get approved.  While i'm sure nothing is foolproof it's not easy to fake working at a legimate business day in day out for very long, especially one that has been in business for some time.  While I realize some guys don't like to give out work info I think it does show some trust toward the provider you would like to see, and let's face it this is all about trust.  Once I gave a lady I wanted to see my work info but had no references, she was local to my area and I told her she could come in to my work as a customer and see that I worked there.  I was shocked when she actually DID!!  It was really kind of a rush, and I never had any issues with it.  She was a pretty well established lady although she has now moved which stinks!!  Well enough babbling, but I would like to Thank You Kelly for letting other providers know there are other safe ways to approve someone to see.  Lumberman

I hope some of the newer Gents read and understand.  We try to keep it simple.  Screening is for their safety as well as ours.  Sharing personal info if you like to share meaningful conversation is great.  Let's be honest, sometimes conversation is not high on your priority list.  

Personally, I prefer not to call someone's workplace; confirming that they are a doctor or engineer does not confirm that they get hobby etiquette (show up on time,  properly handle donation, never abusive or drunk).  We keep each other's secrets and pillow talk forever.

Have fun and Play safe!  
Lots of kisses,  Kay~

1st email: his initial contact- he introduces himself, provides the details for his requested appointment (including a preferred date and time or a time range if he is truly flexible), and gives his board handles (if any) and references or identity/employment information.  I really do not have time to coax this information out of clients these days and will usually send a form letter requesting a *complete* request in response to incomplete inquiries or ignore them entirely.  I do try to make my requirements for an initial contact very clear on my website.  So hopefully this is only one email but sometimes it is actually three emails if I have to send my form letter reminding them to include ALL the required info before we can move forward.  A gentleman who send all his info in his initial email is off to a great start with me as that is a considerate and respectful move.  I list my availability in great detail in my ads so hopefully he has done his diligence and requested a meeting time for which I am actually available.

2nd email: I respond to thank the gentleman for expressing his interest in meeting and let him know that I will work on screening him (right now, that evening, the next afternoon... I try to give an estimate of when I think I will have time to work on it just for his information and peace of mind), and also say that I will get back to him once he passes my screening to confirm our date.  If I am not available at he requested time I will suggest a few other time options that are similar and refer him back to my ad where my exact availability is detailed.  If he gave a time range I will suggest an exact time (ex. 2:30-4pm).

3rd email:  He says... Sounds good!  Or something like that.  If we needed to settle on an exact time, this is when I expect him to make a final choice- BEFORE I screen him.

4th email:  I let the gentleman know that he has passed my screening.  I reiterate our appointment date/time/location and remind him of my cancellation policy.  I ask him to respond with a confirmation of our date, after which I will book my Incall and/or lock our appointment into my calendar and cease to accept inquiries for that time period.  I also let him know about my procedure and timing for communicating to him the exact location of my Incall and the apartment or room number so he can make sure he is comfortable with that procedure before he confirms, and also provide him with my phone number so he can text me the day-of with any logistical communications.

5th email:  He confirms our date.

Sometimes there are follow-up emails with special requests, which is fine!  Scheduling an appointment three months ahead of time and expecting to chat by phone or email six times between booking and the date just to "get to know me" beforehand is not really fine.  If that is truly necessary, some type of compensation for this time spent on the phone would be appropriate.

Ah... Booking... De-mystified!

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

I'm all about having convo to get to know somebody- especially if we are planning an extended date. But I just wasted sooo much time on a fool who booked an overnight, never paid deposit and then of course you know what comes next- never came through on the appointment.

But wait it gets better- then he contacts me again and after I tell him I expect cancellation fee, starts arguing with me and putting me down.

Isn't this supposed to be fun?

I know better than that, but for not wanting to come across as rude or bitchy I went against my rules and best judgement. I got taught a lesson with that though.

I'm with you now sister- keep it movin if your too difficult before we even meet- you definitely won't be easy to get along with when the time finally comes! This isn't rocket science, and if somebody wants to put me down as a provider, they better look in the mirror because really I know I'm awesome, and I have the reviews to prove it!

END OF MESSAGE

maybe i missed something? (i've been known to do that on occasion
shit! what was the topic?
LOL! sorry

-- Modified on 3/7/2014 12:27:20 AM

hate that feeling of "i owe ya something before i've even met ya"

that rarely happens to me- thank you very much to my fans lol

there's gotta be a lil flirting, but not too the point of free email/text/phone sex... especially if you book once with a hint that it will be regular...
 
or we could just add that to the of your fantasy package

fuck! then we'll be accused of upcharging.

ahhhh! let me consult my magic wand..

Even though he's been around a few years, his lack of common hobby sense shows he's still learning the ropes about the hobby.  He frequently posts stupid stuff like an inexperienced newbie. Don't pay much attention to him