Sadly, this is the best place to ask this question. My friend was on a business trip staying at a nice hotel in DC. Left her drink at the bar to go to the bathroom. Came back and everything went woosy. She woke up bruised and bleeding out her ass. Remembers nothing other than some guy chatting her up. Food was ordered. Condom wrappers in the garbage.
She is too terrified her husband will find out that she won't report it. She of course thinks it's her fault. Or nobody will believe her. She is panicked at what her coworkers saw.
Has anybody had experience with hotel security? Could they look at the video or would they need a police investigation to do it. Would they be helpful and sympathetic or clam up? It seems like hotel security could nail this in a few minutes if they wanted to...
I spoke with an attorney friend of mine who said that there is absolutely no way a hotel would be helpful. Quite the opposite, they would not want it known that someone was raped at their hotel. They would delete the tape if they knew about it. Cops would have to demand it. Thats not going to happen.
If he did use condoms evidence would be gone, but hopefully the chance of infections is less.
I am tempted to delete this post but I will leave it up as a reminder to be safe.
If she's unwilling to report her assault & rape then what's the point in trying investigate further?
It wasn't her fault. She didn't give conscent. She was incapable of consent. She was relaxed & unguarded... a luxury that no one can afford these days. I wish she immediately reported it.
There WAS likely evidence that could have been gathered... DNA & fingerprints... on the condom wrappers & elsewhere in her room. If her coworkers were witnesses... their statements could be important but only if she's willing to press charges. Where were they when her drink was tampered with?
Hotel security: There might be video of her drink being tampered with, she she left the bar with & her condition at that time, possibly corrider video. Some hotels have records of the key card use. So she'd know what the guy looked like. But unless she's willing to report it... (Is there a chance it was a co-worker?)
In any event, she really ought to seek medical care & councilng. She afraid of her husband finding out... what a mind fuck. He'll know something happened to her. I think he needs to know & possibly be involved in some counciling sessions. If ever there was a time to need your spouce, this is it.
No excuses for rapists. None. Heartbreaking that this could happen to any woman... any person.
-- Modified on 7/14/2017 2:13:44 PM
Interesting that this occurred in "Her Room". I suppose the perp could have gone thru her bag and found the room number on the packet some properties give you.....most now use a card so no key with a room number on it....interesting....maybe she was so out of it she accepted an assist to her room by a well meaning stranger ?
Sounds like an episode for Special Victims Unit !
She did go to a doctor and will hopefully seek counseling. Blood test came out clean but I think you have to go back in 6 months. Dr said that the condoms helped prevent both damage and infection.
One thing to note. The rapist made no reference to "hooking up". The conversation she remembers was that of two world travelers sharing stories and frustrations. She is an attractive busty blond woman and gets hit on all the time. This guy has a system to put women at ease.
One other note. I now have first hand knowledge that when a woman is raped, her first reaction is "NOBODY CAN EVER KNOW ABOUT THIS". This is especially true if alcohol or drugs were used. I think about all the people defending Cosby questioning why they didn't say anything at the time. Now that she has waited a few days, it is almost impossible to make a claim. To her husband, her delay would be tantamount to an admission of guilt.
No memory that she will admit. My guess is that he offered to take her to her room after she started feeling woozy. My original hope was that she could watch the tape on a security camera so she would know what happened. Here is my thought, bartenders see everything. I think that part of there job is to prevent someone from being over served. It is unfair that she would have to file a police report just to see what actually happened.
That's why these dirtbags get away with this. I think I was roofied in a strip club years ago. I went from sober to passed out in minutes. My credit card was maxed out. There was no fucking way I was going to tell my spouse. I contacted the club and they reversed most of the charges. I got lucky. The strip club in INDY, supposedly had mob ties according to the "internet". They just didn't want to lose their ability to charge credit cards.
How does she think the "Perp" got access to her room ? Did she give him the card, did he lift it from her purse ? Does she remember leaving the bar on her own after returning from the ladies room? etc....
Who ever did this probably acted as helpful assisting her to her room... to that point had done nothing wrong. Taking her in & even putting her to bed... really not wrong (though risky of being accused of improper conduct ifthe person was really just tippsy). What IS & always will be WRONG is taking advantage of someone who is incapactated.
My biggest concern of putting a drunk to bed is IF you don't know how much alcohol they've consumed, they can die from alcohol poisoning or choking. Really ought to be monitered at least.
Assuming this is the way it went down-and that she didn't agree to take this fella to her room, etc....then she must have been "Cosbied" !
Wow -- (again assuming this really happened) -- I would certainly report this as a crime. I don't know why she wouldn't tell her husband. Perhaps she is in a abusive relationship? Perhaps she has had affairs before? Perhaps she has an alcohol problem?
There certainly was at least one witness -- the bartender. It might be a good idea for her to try to find the bartender on duty that night and ask him/her if they remember what happened. None of the Cosby incidents, to the best of my recollection, involved a stranger. They all involved at least an acquaintance through work or social events. My pure speculation is that this was a coworker or other traveling business partner. I can't imagine a total stranger pulling this off in a hotel bar. When I travel, the hotel bars are usually pretty small without a lot of customers on a given night.
I would be concerned about the anal bleeding. A blood test for an STI is one thing, but there could be physical damage to her plumbing that really should be examined.
As I posted earlier... I wonder if her assailant was an aquantance or co-worker. At the very least, they saw something.
The thing is... how does one get the hotel security to cooperate? They might be liable for over serving or not keeping a secure facility. I wonder if a PI or lawyer's investigator might be required.
She certainly can't do it. She's too emotionally involved.
I think that legal representation would be needed to require the hotel to co-operate with any footage available. It might come to naught but it's the only way to find out.