A man is cruising along a country road when he is pulled over by a cop who was lurking just after a bridge. The man pulls over to the side of the road, cursing. “What’s the hurry?” the cop asks smugly.
“I’ve got a work emergency,” the man replies. “I’m in a big hurry.”
“Oh, yeah?” says the cop. “What exactly do you do?”
“I’m a rectum stretcher,” he replies.
“A rectum stretcher?” the cop asks suspiciously. “What the hell is that?”
“Well,” explains the man, “I take a patient and put a small stretching device in his rectum and leave it there for three weeks. Then I take it out and put in a larger stretching device, which I again leave in for three weeks. I do this four times, until finally I put in the largest stretching device I have, and leave it in until the patient has a six-foot asshole.”
“What the hell do you do with a six-foot asshole?” the cop asks.
“Well, usually they put him at the end of a bridge with a radar gun.”