Some are even completely unwilling. Is it really that taxing to provide references? I don't know of any providers that don't require this. So, why not just make life simple for both of us?
Paranoia runs deep, into your life it will creep, as the Buffalo Springfield once intoned.
I still have some foot prints on my hiney for pushing the idea of newbies to be willing to give up personal information on the Newbie Board a few days ago. A few years ago, that advice was taken as a given.
I still say that you are much safer giving personal info to a well reviewed provider such as yourself rather than just finding any old gal from BP who will see you no questions asked. The people who never verify are LE, and rip off artists.
Well, it's not helping anyone not to comply with this simple request. If someone isn't comfy with the process, sign up for p411. Then you never have to go through it again. Problem solved on both ends.
p411 is a great tool for advertising... P411 isn't responsible for my safety or well-being, I am. Which means I will be the one screening you, not P411.
p411 is a great tool for advertising... P411 isn't responsible for my safety or well-being, I am. Which means I will be the one screening you, not P411.
first, last name & real phone number. That's right sir.
I guess we would not meet in my upcoming visit 🤷🏻♀️.
I have enough social media, internet history, reviews and good reputation that you can look I am the real sweet treat. 
Something that makes me very reluctant to engage in the process is the fact that e-mails never go away. I'll often hear the advice of don't put anything online that you wouldn't want to hear read back to you in court. That's true of criminal or divorce court.
text message, quick phone call, etc.
Recently more than a few providers have been requesting from their previous clients gifts from their wish lists or gift cards or pay pal to their account in trade for a reference to another provider . It's the HOE culture, gimme, gimme, pay me for breathing. It's true.
That's insane and for the record I've never done that. I've been known to give gifts to my friends. No need to pay me to breathe.
Just take my breath away 💋
Very true ! They see it as another revenue stream, my guess is they think " umm if he is not seeing me how is spending time giving a reference to another provider helping me ? Let me expand the pay wall " . saw a provider recently asked for a reference after no problem . The provider she provided a reference to , was a NCNS for me . Asked her again for a new provider , her response was I saw you once , one reference. If you would like another reference see me again. Two other instances were not same but similar involving wish lists etc . Is what it is I guess
Again that's insane and I'm sorry you had to deal with the bs
I'm not sure about enforcing a 1 to 1 ratio of visits to references, but there are *several* good reasons for limiting the number of references, or the length of time between a session and recommendations for future sessions. Most are more about ensuring the integrity and safety of all involved, not a lady's revenue.
Of course, the situations that policies like this guard against are a lot more extreme than just one missed connection. I wonder what the lady was thinking in your case... And suspect that there's probably more to it than she told you.
~Mme X~
I've been providing referrals to new ladies for 15 years and I guess I've been lucky. Not one has asked for any type of compensation.
I'd think this is a dangerous precedent because sharing info on new clients is, imho, Rule 1 in HOW TO STAY SAFE. It's ALL about the ladies SAFETY.
If I were asked to pay, I don't think I'd see that gal again. Unless ... read on
On the other hand, and to show some undestanding of an escort's side of things and what MIGHT be happening to you, if you see her once, and use her repeatedly as a reference, maybe you should rethink who you use as a referral.
Not that the OP needs ANY credibility around here, I've only seen her once (👅👅👅) and have asked her a few times for a referral. Once at 9 a.m. on a Sunday morning! Told you I was lucky, she was up! She's as nice as anyone around here. She did it for me first, yea, but she did it for the other gal too.
Mind you, we hit it off as friends and keep in touch for a variety if reasons, all good. Sooo ... when you can, make friends as well as tricks!
Thank you Erin, you're one in a million
And guys, I understand if you gave a rule about never giving out private info, but let's just say she's a safe stranger ... lol
But not a pushover....I just believe in good juju and we get what we give. 😙
Amen sister!
But not a pushover....I just believe in good juju and we get what we give. 😙
That makes my hair stand up. I'm so sorry you've encountered that. I see giving references as absolutely just part of the job. Yes, it's a lot of e-mailing, but it's keeping the sisterhood safe, which is our duty to one another. When I started out in this gig, I was amazed at how kind other providers were about references, and I continue to receive kind wishes from perfect strangers.
Bottom line: We all have to collaborate to keep each other safe in the face of the sheer tonnage of cultural, political, and other bullshit being flung about in this rather exasperating moment.
Stay safe, my loves.
xo
Ernestine
Ernestine : let's face it there are less than honorable people on both sides of this aisle. To think that all providers are holding hands and singing kimbaya working as a sister hood is s nice thought but not reality . When they are rolling in bank,driving their BMW and taking exoctic vacations, they don't need to help anyone else and are myopic ." Don't dare call me to ask a question on my website", "another reference ? Who has time ? ", "But hey it's Tuesday ! Send me something off my wish list, cuz well .. it's me "!! View twitter land and get a better feel of the SOP of some , but certainly not all .
I do help other ladies when necessary, support them and love my good friends. I roll to the bank, drive my BMW but haven't take an exotic vacation since Paris on Spring Break! Bummer! haha
I do ask for references and provide references as well, of course I always make sure that the person asking for a reference is a reputable lady and not just someone with out reviews or an angry wife trying to caught their husbands. (it happens, trust me, that's how I caught my ex hahaha!).
I do have my wishlist... here it is: http://a.co/0Xrr5do
And also, here's a link to my twitter
Kisses,
Vero.
-- Modified on 7/26/2017 1:47:17 PM
Yes, sunshine, thank you for stating the obvious. Not all people are lovely 100% of the time. I am simply stating the bulk of my own experience, as we all should.
But seriously, treat yourself to a hand job at least. You can't just let these things fester. 
Yes dear and I am stating what sometimes happens on the other side . Which I find enlightened. once a provider showes her true colors it effectively reduces the amount of work for me researching the ladies I would like to see. I just may take you up on the HJ, it will be a good place to start ..
yes, we need to keep each other safe, jut just from LE but also stalkers, rappist, thieves, and violent individuals.
hope to meet you on my upcoming trip!
I think the nicer you are about these things, the more people thinks they are flexible.
I think I come off pretty rigid about it and honestly don't get many timewasters. I just don't play along and they get no satisfaction and probably spread the word that I'm not worth the effort of trying to jerk me around?
I've heard it from other ladies too. Once you tighten up your process, you essentially separate the wheat from the chaff much more easily!
Good luck!
xo
Lately, I have noticed a trend where ladies either de-list or no longer want reviews. Ladies want to verify new clients for the safety. I get it. I have a P411 profile along with my TER profile. Unless you your are a single man, you weigh the ladies safety vs your need for privacy. A man's life is potentially exposed to ruin. The pendulum swings both ways though. Men like to see recent reviews. That's how we verify pictures are accurate and services are provided that we are looking for. What's good for the goose should be good for the gander. I know Erin has always been transparent about reviews and photos, so please don't think I'm singling her out.
Still, I've never crossed a boundary and never will. I have more people's personal information than one would imagine. Been to their homes and know the real deal. Not even once have you read that I've compromised anyone's privacy. I don't even care if you say you're name is Johnny Rocket. Just as long as a reputable lady says Johnny Rocket is a good guy. This really isn't rocket science.
well, if he is contacting were reviewed and reputable ladies it should not be an issue. The concern is being raped, robbed, attack, murdered. That's why I screen. When my spider senses are off.. they re 99.99 % right.
I don't care if a guy is married, single or divorce (well, I kind of do.. I love married guys that have terrible sexual life because I love to make people happy and feel like the king so they can go back home with a smile in their face and make their wife happy) haha...anyways...
In my opinion, my regulars are married guys, that love my discretion, the way how I handle our meetings from screening until they need references.
It's all about quality over quantity. I rather have few steady regulars than care about their safety and mine.
verifying quality and well reviewed ladies.
IMO I think gentleman should be more worried about those that NOT screen than the ladies that request truthful information.
I don't mind sharing info, but, as a low-volume hobbyist, references can be a problem for me if I only see providers a couple of times a year, and I feel a bit sheepish asking for them.
I do not hobby often...but willing share who I have seen in the past to help with verification.
I would never give personal info to any other verification service....they seem pretty safe but once you put your info in there you never know where it's going to end up.
Because they don't trust that the information they provide will be kept confidential. It has happened in the past when agencies were busted so it's not an unfounded fear.
With all due respect I am not affiliated with any agency and I don't need anything more than a provider reference which I will forget soon after we've met because she really isn't that important to me. I appreciate everyone's assistance. But, we check refs every day. It's impossible to store this information. Maybe it's my brain and that lack of desire to store the info. Either way, I'm your ally not your enemy. When you come see me or any provider, it should be a safe haven. You should be able to say what's on your mind without fear of judgment. You should be able to put your wallet down without fear of getting robbed. You should be able to kiss and have foreplay without fear of getting sick. More over, you should leave feeling better than you did when you arrived.
I simply need assurance that something is not going to go horribly awry. I don't think that's asking a whole lot.
Funny I never have to ask an attorney for references. They leave everything within the first email or even a voicemail-
I know someone (hobbyist) who was called in to testify how he knew a provider. He had dialogue back and forth in emails. Never any juicy details were in the emails and so he said he was her friend. (Deposition due to husband divorcing provider wife and trying to get custody- yea real gem) So they had
To believe his story AND case thrown out since husband wasn't given consent to access her emails 🤣🤣- idiot.
Anywhoooooo, I also find reluctantancy to be more of a geographical phenomenon more often than not. The bigger cities are horrible, rural and suburban towns tend to be a little better. Take a look and see where most of the P411 subscribers are from- tells you a lot. Down south and Midwest.
Stephanie Stiles
Also, I've always felt awkward asking someone I've seen for a referral. I think I am getting better about it as well as asking to be whitelisted. Also, I have gone for long periods where I didn't see anybody and that complicates things as well.
Unfortunately, there are many seasoned "hobbyists" who should know better yet think their handle alone or dated okays/ white list referrals from years ago can get them in the door. Or that they are above needing to demonstrate up-to-date verification.
A DNS list is much more valuable than some people understand. And with touring several cities, I've come to learn the benefits of knowing who I'm not dealing with when I touch down and will only be around for a few days. If I have to ask someone more than a couple times for verification, I do block and blacklist them as being uncooperative with screening.
I can kind of understand blocking someone who doesn't want to be verified..,but blacklisting them because they don't want to be verified is not appropriate.
Maybe they don't feel comfortable giving YOU their information.....there is nothing wrong with that....and it doesn't warrant blacklisting.
..why are they in my inbox in the first place?
I don't at all care about the feels of any client who refuses to read basic instructions. Firstly, there is no reason for a potential client to even contact a companion if he is not ready to book. And if he were "ready to book" he would have thoroughly looked over said companion's screening requirements. If he is not prepared/ wiling to offer the screening requirements a companion asks for, he should just keep it moving rather than being coercive and pushing her boundaries by requesting that she disregard her screening policies. It's not that complicated.
Sadly it's hard for you to empathize, but quote-unquote subtle boundary pushing is not always but sometimes an indicator of more dire consent issues. As a matter of fact, just days ago, I heard about yet another incident where an infamous predatory hobbyist who is known to be evasive with screening and constantly switch contact information scammed an escort. (Some may minimize the harmfulness of scams/non-payment/time wasting but this individual has also perpetuated sexual violence.) I don't play games with my emotional or physical safety nor that of other companions even if I've never met them before. Sorry, not sorry.
I respond with lightning speed to reference requests from other ladies to let them know that a guest I've met was stellar and respectful based on my perception for relevant reasons why I post alerts about dudes who are sketchballs — knowledge is power.
I can understand ignoring or even blocking people who do not want to give you information...,,but sometimes people do have legitimate reasons for doing so....,but It is hard to empathize with someone who blacklists clients because they do not want to give you information...that seems vindictive.
..when it comes to the matter of providers' safety. And more importantly threats to that sense of safety. In the initial post I contributed to this thread, I outlined a situation where a potential client asks not just once or twice, but several times for a companion to still see him without providing the screening information she needs for her comfort level. It's fascinating that you're invested in defending the idea of a man not dealing well boundaries, disregarding a sex worker's policies, and being coercive.
Moving forward, having "vindictive" hurled at me will not at all deter me from alerting fellow companions about problematic and possible unsafe actions potential clients exhibit in the booking process.
Thank you for reminding me to "ignore" your posts.
When your phone does not ring, that will be me calling.
Oh, yes. I'm heading back home today after a two week werkation and I'm distraught that you won't meet me.. 
But seriously, chastising or not, the point is that I don't at all want to be contacted by someone who is trying to arrange a session with me all while insisting that I don't have a right to stick to my screening practices.
The question is are you willing to reciprocate? You want to feel safe... guess what, so do we!! Do we know if there is a pimp lurking and waiting to rob us or worse? Can we be sure that once you have our personal information you won't out us?? I already know your response. A reputable provider would never do that. I seem to remember a popular local lady blackmailing several gentlemen a couple of years ago. She was reputable, but for what ever reason....
That's the purpose of verification services and white listing. A gentleman feels safer knowing that at any moment dozens of ladies can't inform his work or S/O of his extra curricula activities. So again I pose the question. Are you willing to give your personal information for verification from a gentleman?
..for sex workers and what's at stake for clients. And no, I'm not saying that clients don't face any risks. Sex workers face more frequent/ intense risks. That's clearly a longer conversation.
When it comes to providing identity verification, the majority of the guests who visit me opt to not do that if they use third party verification sites and/or provider references. By "uncooperative with screening" I'm literally talking about dudes who won't even give me *a* reference as in not one, or think it's cool to offer a decade old reference or long winded fables and insist I should still meet them.
Some companions do require full identity verification in all cases. Even though I opt not to go that route, I support other sex workers choosing the screening methods that make sense for them. And I'm still missing what is so challenging about simply not contacting a companion who screens in a way you're not comfortable with. Some of y'all are acting as if I'm suggesting clients be forced under duress to divulge informing they don't want to. There is no duress; you literally have the power to reach out to someone who screens you in ways you're okay with.
Note to self: Avoid Lena Duvall Does seem very hardened and not very nice
most of the time its because they want work information or work email and things like that. Thats when things get very very scary.
I don't care if you work for Nasa or you polish the golden arches. I really just need one reputable provider to tell me that oceansea1312 is a good man overall. It's so simple and puts my mind at ease
For me it is rather simple
I do not fear my info will be shared with other providers without my consent, because I will have done my homework and the provider I am contacting should affirm my expectation of discretion.
I do not fear DNS/blacklisting because I will be acting like a perfect gentleman.
I DO fear that an unexpected intersect between the provider and LE will result in my information getting into those unwanted hands.... aka "they took my little black book"
What I want to hear is "Your info will be destroyed completely at the conclusion of our visit"... and I rarely read that on any provider website. This is 99.99% of my fear.
As usual, just my 2 cents. Every policy and practice deserves respect.
LR
And never ever EVER documented in ink