I heard this on the radio this morning it's a quote, but I forgot who said it:


When I die I want to die in my sleep peacefully just like my grandfather did, not like the people screaming in the backseat of his car!
                Enjoy your week all you sexy people out there!

You twisted my arm:  

Two really old gentlemen who haven't had the touch of a women in alot of years decided they wanted to get themselves some tail.

So they go to the local cathouse and let the women know what they want. The women thinks to herself "Damn they are old I don't need to waste any of my talent on them, I'll give them a couple of blow-up dolls".

She put's a blow-up doll in each room and sent the gentlemen off to take care of business.

On the way home one of the guy's say's to the other "I think the women I was with was dead she didn't talk, she didn't moan, she didn't move. How was yours?"

The other gentleman say's " I think mine was a Witch....I nibbled on her tittes and she farted and flew out the window."