I have a assertive side, would like to learn more about BSDM. Where would I find good information? Also can you work with a Mistress to learn the ropes? lol
Try reading BDSM 101
There are a few Dommes who will train you for a price.
check it out.
As the former librarian for L.A.'s biggest BDSM organization, I'd be glad to point you toward various resources, depending on your interests. Can you be more specific? BDSM encompasses a wide gamut of play.
A few book suggestions as starting points:
- The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy
- Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Philip Miller and Molly Devon
- SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman
- The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance by Mistress Lorelei
- Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual by Christina Abernathy
Yes, you can work with a Mistress to learn the ropes, but that's probably an extremely expensive way to learn. A pro dungeon might take you on, but you'd likely have to start as a submissive/bottom until you had enough knowledge to switch or top.
To become any good as a Dominant, you really have to dedicate a serious amount of time and effort (practice, practice, practice), as well as money for equipment, clothing, toys, etc.
My advice: If you are in a major city, there is likely one or more lifestyle BDSM clubs in your area. If you have trouble finding one, PM me your location. Your fellow kinksters will offer a variety of classes on various BDSM subjects and teach you how to play safely, sanely and consensually (or, if you wind up learning edge play, with risk-aware consensual kink).
Also: Join FetLife, if you haven't already. It's the social network for kinksters, and you'll learn a lot just from the message boards on various topics.
Finally, my best bit of advice is to consider a membership to the video site Kink Academy. Not to be confused with the Kink porn website, Kink Academy was created by dominatrix Princess Kali to host an assortment of "how to" videos on almost every BDSM topic you can think of -- about 1,100 + videos as of this moment, and adding new ones every day. Think of it like if we were videotaping all of the instructional classes at lifestyle BDSM clubs and posting them in a single place. Subscriptions to Kink Academy are quite reasonable. (I have no vested interest, other than being a member and a big fan of their work.)
Good luck
Thank you for your generous reply. Very helpful and specific to my situation. In answer to your question, I am in the Chicago area. Also, I am likely to value a more mature coach.
Again, thx,
A few book suggestions as starting points:
- The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy
- Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Philip Miller and Molly Devon
- SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman
- The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance by Mistress Lorelei
- Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual by Christina Abernathy
Yes, you can work with a Mistress to learn the ropes, but that's probably an extremely expensive way to learn. A pro dungeon might take you on, but you'd likely have to start as a submissive/bottom until you had enough knowledge to switch or top.
To become any good as a Dominant, you really have to dedicate a serious amount of time and effort (practice, practice, practice), as well as money for equipment, clothing, toys, etc.
My advice: If you are in a major city, there is likely one or more lifestyle BDSM clubs in your area. If you have trouble finding one, PM me your location. Your fellow kinksters will offer a variety of classes on various BDSM subjects and teach you how to play safely, sanely and consensually (or, if you wind up learning edge play, with risk-aware consensual kink).
Also: Join FetLife, if you haven't already. It's the social network for kinksters, and you'll learn a lot just from the message boards on various topics.
Finally, my best bit of advice is to consider a membership to the video site Kink Academy. Not to be confused with the Kink porn website, Kink Academy was created by dominatrix Princess Kali to host an assortment of "how to" videos on almost every BDSM topic you can think of -- about 1,100 + videos as of this moment, and adding new ones every day. Think of it like if we were videotaping all of the instructional classes at lifestyle BDSM clubs and posting them in a single place. Subscriptions to Kink Academy are quite reasonable. (I have no vested interest, other than being a member and a big fan of their work.)
Good luck!