I have been in the hobby for six years. I have met and played with a lot of women form 18 to 70. I have been having a ball BUT one of my regulars just informed me that she picked up herpes recently. We had a date but she let me know a week in advance about this, she has now retired from the hobby. I'm so glad she told me.
Now I've been thinking about getting a girl friend to play with instead of a different one every week. In fact I've known this woman for thirty years, she has had a couple husbands that didn't work out. I have always wanted to play with her but have never made any advances on her till just recently. So I've been thinking maybe just one would work out better. I actually prefer to be monogamous as I was for 50 years. Trouble is I'm still married to a woman that is tied to her wheel chair and has not given me sex for 15 years. And NO I will not divorce her.
My new lady lives with and is a care giver for a man with Alzheimer's. So she's not having any sex either. She is 63 years old.
Has anyone here ever been in a similar situation? If you have, I would love to hear how it is working and if any problems have popped up that you didn't expect.
Of course I realize that no one will be in the same exact situation but everyone has a story and I'm sure there are some in a situation somewhat like mine. Please share yours.
What are the downsides of giving it a whirl with the lady friend?
Please wait a few weeks though and get an antibodies test for HSV. At 63, she might have any number of minor conditions or meds that would REALLY exacerbate the problems HSV can cause.
Many doctors even will say there's no test unless there's an active breakout. Nonsense. I use privatemdlabs dot com to make sure mine all stay negative. There's is the best rate for the really complex panel.
One reason I see escorts rather than hooking up with a girlfriend is a fear of what she will say or do when it ends. Does your potential girlfriend know your wife? How sane is she? Can she really keep such a big secret? I realize a 63 year old married woman is different from your average 30 year old single girlfriend, but still...
With a provider it's a transaction. Done and paid for. No reason for anyone to talk.
Just saying.
BTW girlfriends can get herpes too. I see STD's as a reason to be careful not a reason to give up on the hobby. But I can understand how a scare like that might get someone thinking about it differently.
Thanks Erik_S The ATF you were seeing could have just as easily contracted herpes from her various husbands as she could have through the hobby.
I enjoyed a lively conversation some time ago about STD's and escorts versus girlfriends. I agreed with the pool of folks who felt that providers in general...a good one anyway...are careful to take precautions that don't hinder the fun and maintain regular screenings. This is likely how your ATF was able to inform you and you likely had a lower level exposure because of screenings. I get a full screen every 3 months even as an UTR/low volume provider. I take my health pretty seriously and tend to add healthier things into my life. I think most providers no matter what body size, level of attraction etc...so many variables why the hobby is awesome...want physical health but that physical health also increases stamina, self esteem, confidence, and so much more. If I had to bet my last dollar I would place it on a quality, high end escort as being the healthier when choosing between the two.
That said, it's all about your comfort level. Millions of people won't get on an airplane terrified of a fiery crash but think nothing of hopping into their car every day. Statistically you have a significantly higher chance of serious injury or death from a MVA than from an airplane going down. Potato Potato...it's all about what you find comfortable and fulfilling. It's awkward to feel the situation out. Just the mere suggestion to her could create a rocky home life. I vote transactional dating and an ATF but you know the woman more and can get a sense of the situation. Good luck!