"I fell off my bike", than "I walked into a door". Maybe because the second has become such a cliched coverup for an abusive partner. I knew one woman, in 'civilian' life, who was an abused wife.
HOW the lady says it (assuming she says anything) is usually a better indicator than WHAT she says. Not that there'd be a damned thing I could do about it in any case, except vent here.
The last post highly suggested most of the bruises on the woman he saw were due to abuse, probably by a b/f. Given they were all concentrated in one area, like the back, that is very likely to be the case. The responses were very considerate.
There are other obvious causes to consider, however, if they are just small marks, scratches, mosquito bites, small random bruises in various places. I for example, have VERY sensitive skin. An hour and a half with a clean-shaven, blond, and not at all hairy man a couple days ago left me with still-existing friction marks on my chest, a small bruise on my arm (and it was a gentle session -- nothing close to rough sex -- he just held me too hard, too long), rug burns (or sheet burns rather) on my elbows, knees, etc.
Some people bruise more easily than others and take longer to heal. Have been like this since I was a child.
I also play softball, hike, mountain bike, mountain climb, ski, work out, tend to my gardens and trees, cook, etc and they all mark me up here or there, but this is all part of living and doing the things one loves to do! Appreciate everyone's concern for the women, but there are other activites in her life which could contribute, esp if she is a highly active/ adventurous type.
She said, "You know, you can leave him." She was looking at the bruises on my wrists. I smiled at her and told her it was from the dojo.
My response to a previous post speaks for itself.
However, i would never assume that bruise/scratches, etc. were abuse without positive proof.
I would be asking the lady about them though, and since I only see a few "regular" ladies with whom I have a good relationship, I am confident they would tell me the truth.
This a very important issue and the more we talk about it openly, the more may be ladies who are being abused will know there are options, and support out here.
I guess my point is:
Don't assume its abuse, but don't ignore the signs either,
ASK THE QUESTION.
Just my opinion...
B
Interesting to read this now (I didn't see the other recent thread mentioned above) as I sustained lots of bruises and cuts on holiday this week, all from being active - climbing, kayaking, mountain biking, canyoning, hiking up rocky and slippy mountain paths - and having a great time.
Bruises don't always signal abuse, if I person is sporty then it's easy for them to get bruised now and then so it's not always a cause for concern.
"I fell off my bike", than "I walked into a door". Maybe because the second has become such a cliched coverup for an abusive partner. I knew one woman, in 'civilian' life, who was an abused wife.
HOW the lady says it (assuming she says anything) is usually a better indicator than WHAT she says. Not that there'd be a damned thing I could do about it in any case, except vent here.