The discussion board was so slow tonight that my eyes blurred and crossed and I had a vision:  I’m singing soulful karaoke at the Tomahawk Hotel Bar in Bloomington, Minnesota while NetMichelle & Turkana smile at me from the table.  Turkana is waiting for a local gal named Redhead to show up.  I’m singing “In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning” and there’s a tear in Michelle’s eye.  She wipes it away and suggests a foursome.  When Redhead arrives she’s a little surprised to see us all there.  The only person she doesn’t know is Michelle, but she barely remembers me.
 People in the bar are begging me to sing again and I hesitantly oblige.  This time I sit at the table and sing a very slow version of “I Touch Myself”.  Redhead whispers in my ear that we should “ditch these two and get a room.”  I’m about to remind her that she’s here to meet Turk but Heidi, the bartender, is pulling me up to the stage for more music.  Heidi is huge.  Bigger than me.  She has on an apron with a Tomahawk embroidered on it that says, “Kiss the Chief”.  Suddenly it’s a live band and we all know the same ballads by “The Be Good Tanyas”.
 Michelle leads us all upstairs & there is extensive kissing and oral sex.  Then Turk and I push the two queen beds together.  We plug the “Magic Fingers” box full of quarters and the beds start vibrating.  The four of us are penetrating every orifice that slides into our sight.
 After we all cum, Michelle wants to shave everyone’s crotches and we all take turns becoming bald.  We save Michelle for last because the war has ended and we’re helping her celebrate.  Redhead is coaching Turk with the razor and his tongue.  Michelle and I are making-out.  When her pussy is bald I flick all the newly shaven areas with the tip of my tongue & rim her deep.  Redhead is being given the Turk-O-Rama  (a new technique he’s invented involving the use of a modified wooden spoon.)
 Suddenly Heidi from the bar bursts in wearing only her apron.  She shouts in a Norwegian accent, “I’ve only got a 10 minute break!!!”  So the four of us make her air-tight.  When Heidi’s break is over she jumps up, washes her hands and runs back down to the bar.
 After that there is some pretty nasty sex.  There is so much snowballing going on that nobody needs to spit in the sink.  We go way over time but Turk says, “Let me get this one” and uses Paypal.  (Thanks Turk!)  We’re all utterly spent.  Turk and I are standing, swarthy & manly above the reclining ladies.  Our cocks are so used up that they’ve pulled inside of us, giving the illusion that we both have two belly-buttons.
 We go back to the bar.  It’s dark & empty but Heidi has been waiting for us.  She gives us free drinks until the sun comes up.  (Thanks Heidi!)

   And that’s the report from the field.
Love,
   Jockeypants.