I have been enjoying other ladies for many years now, but with great care not to hurt my lovely wife of 12 years in any way. I always thought that our happy marriage could end if she ever found out about the extend of my “adventures”. However, recently, I noticed that my wife is warming up to some sexual exploration, mainly having sex with another female. She hinted this to me on number of occasions but it will never happen, according to her, because she doesn’t know anybody who is into this, plus she is too shy/scared to approach her female friends with something like that.
Here is my dilemma. How do I communicate to her that I know MANY ladies who will be more than happy to be shared, without reviling anything about my hobby.
Are there any success stories there? I need your help. Any suggestions are appreciated.
about mixing this hobby with your home life, it may sound like a good idea, but nothing but trouble can come from it.
Yes, I’m very concerned with the situation getting out of control for some reason. That's why I’m posting here. Denverdon2757 did you have similar experience with your SO that “blew up in your face” or is this your common sense advice?
If you hangout with men on occasion, especially ones that your wife does not know, try making up a story about being told something by one of them, insure that you mention to her that it sounded sort of interesting to you - but do not give vivid details. If she sounds interested in knowing more, say that you will try to talk more to the guy in private, of course you will not do that, but saying so will give you and opening to introduce her slowly to information that will allow you to better guage her interest. If she is very interested, at some point you may "get" the names of some providers from your mysterious male acquaintance. If she wants to take the leap, let her set up the appointment, with moral support from you, the only condition should be that she allow you to sit in on the session.
I would not tell her about your hobbying until you know that she is a big fan of hobbying, at that point it may be safe to come clean.
but believe me your heading for major disaster. The fun you may
have with you wife and another woman sounds exciting and I sure it will be for a short while. Then she'll say how about a three some with another guy. Are you prepared to watch you wife having wild sex with another guy. Better to enjoy our hobby, be as wild as you desire and leave your wife only to dream about a threesome.
Reminds me of the movie 'sex monster'? The man suggested a threesome with wife and another woman. Then, the wife begins to do it more often with the woman and likes it a lot. Man is left out and gets jealous .... WHAM BAM .. big headache begins as marriage goes downhill!
I agree with buddym that this could lead to a guy-guy-gal thing but that might not be something you object too.
And if you're gonna lie to her in the fashion stilltryin suggests just go whole hog and leave the "hobby" out of the lie altogether. There are providers who will roleplay right along with you to say you've met her at work...or at Starbucks..."she flirted with me and I told her I was married and she wants to meet you"...."do you want to meet her?" Donate to the provider for a lunch date with your wife!
I'm making this up as I go along...
If you are really being open-minded about it, ask yourself if she could go out and get some "strange" from another man? I can see where you'd like to get off with her and some other cutie, but her willingness to want to explore with a women is no more than a cry for some "new" sex herself. She probably knows that you would leave her if she had been having fun all this time, and then, again, how do know she hasn't? I have a friend who found just that recently. It turns out that she was doing just that... In fact, she gave me head after a party one night... surprised, I walked away from it and didn't go back, though she said she was open to me at anytime. So dude, what is good for the goose... if not, you should consider coming clean with her and see if she will let the "games" begin... You cannot measure whether she's gone down that road unless she confesses... and don't give me that crap about. "I know my wife and she wouldn't..."
as I think it's great that she has expressed that! Now,you know your wife, so you know if she is genuinely expressing an interest, or 'baiting' you for any other reason.
It's not that difficult. You could tease her about just how interested IS she? Let her know that the guys at work have had some 'locker room' conversations and have mentioned some swing clubs, etc. and if she is really serious, then you could find out more?
Starting with swing clubs is a great start, and you can always just go and watch first! Then, if she wants to do anything, you can encourage it. HOWEVER, how comfortable are you with her being with another man? Be prepared for that to come up. Some guys get really turned on watching their wives being with another man.
Sedona, thank you for your suggestion. I have tried that. My wife knows that I go to strip clubs and has no problem with that or so she says. I asked her numerous times to go with me. She will not. I think her strict Roman Catholic upbringing may have something to do with it. Also, she may be unconsciously jealous. I’m just guessing.
However, I saw her fool around with other girls on number of occasions after a drink or two usually on the dance floor. No kissing but “dirty dancing” which is commonplace if you go clubbing.
I realize this is mission impossible and very few (lucky) people will achieve anything remotely close to what I’m suggesting here. I know only one provider who is married and husband accepts her choices. So even our lovely ladies have problems separating hobby from reality. Jealousy is a thorny issue. I think I will give the idea a rest for a while.
I know a few providers whose husbands/SO's accept what they do; know others who have 'open' marriages and could probably share more with you.
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Unless you can lie better than a politician, you're better off letting her find someone, at her gym, at the mall, wherever hot bi-femmes hang out. If you're going to set it up, you'd better cast it as "I just happened to be talking to the cousin of a co-worker when she mentioned that she had just broken up with her female partner and was enjoying being "on the prowl" again" or some such bullshit. If your wife even thinks you've been hobbying, start the divorce proceedings right now.
Its simple find your nearest classy swing club.. all the fun.. for free ! Or joi na personals site for swingers. Like www.swingersdateclub.com Let her make the profile and pick the people. Arrange a date , meet the people for dinner or a drink.. Hopefully if you click it will go further !