If it was awhile go, she may not even be sure you who are anymore. At the very least, i always contact the lady prior to dropping her name as a reference and make sure it's ok to do so. There aren't many things here more embarrassing than using a lady as a ref only to find out that she doesn't remember who you are after the fact. Plus, every lady has different policies on giving them.
As far as a timeline goes, this will vary also from lady to lady. Don't expect to be able to use her forever without seeing her ever again. Even if she does remember you, time passes and people change. You may have been roses when you saw her but if she hasn't seen you in a year she won't know what your like anymore, and would probably be hesitant to vouch for you, rightfully so.
Personally, i don't use a lady as reference more times then i have seen her(hey, i'm strange) so one visit would mean i would attempt to use her as a reference one time.
Hello,
What is the etiquette (if there is any) concerning using a provider as a reference for a different provider? Should you ask for permission from the provider that you want to use as a reference? Should you give said provider a "heads up" after you submit thier name as a reference? Or should you just submit their name and not contact them at all?
Hobbyiests and Providers are welcome to answer this.
Thanks for your time,
WFONE
P.S. Moderator, if this is in the worng forum, I apologize, and you can put this in the correct forum as you see fit.
of another provider, who may contact her, for a reference. Also, if you are traveling to another state, make sure the provider you are wishing to see in that state, is aware that the other provider is not located in her neck of the woods, but she is legit and does have a website w/reviews.
I have always asked permission from a provider before giving her name as a reference, and then given her a heads up when I use her name.
Another thing I have done is limit the number of times I ask a provider for a reference to one more than the number of times I have seen her.
And, for what it's worth, if a provider doesn't ask me for a reference, I don't ask if I can use her as a reference after I have seen her.
I will give anyone that i remember a reference.. no need to ask.. but sometimes if you want to ensure that you are going to be able to meet the other lady it is best to put in a call so that we are expecting the reference request to come in and that way we are sure to remember you .. I have had guys use me as reference many many times.. and i ask them .. well i know you have seen others why dont you ever use them.. not that i mind i just was a wonderin.. anyway i have had them tell me that some ladies just dont respond in a timely manner or either dont respond at all
If it was awhile go, she may not even be sure you who are anymore. At the very least, i always contact the lady prior to dropping her name as a reference and make sure it's ok to do so. There aren't many things here more embarrassing than using a lady as a ref only to find out that she doesn't remember who you are after the fact. Plus, every lady has different policies on giving them.
As far as a timeline goes, this will vary also from lady to lady. Don't expect to be able to use her forever without seeing her ever again. Even if she does remember you, time passes and people change. You may have been roses when you saw her but if she hasn't seen you in a year she won't know what your like anymore, and would probably be hesitant to vouch for you, rightfully so.
Personally, i don't use a lady as reference more times then i have seen her(hey, i'm strange) so one visit would mean i would attempt to use her as a reference one time.
It is always a good idea to request permission from your reference first. Some ladies do not give references. Someone might need a reminder of your time together.
It is a good way to show that you respect privacy concerns. Essentially - giving out your references without asking is akin to sharing WHO is seeing WHO, and should only be done if someone has made clear that they are willing to provide references (as I do).
xoxo,
Sola
Thank you all very much for taking the time to respond to my question. Your responses have been very helpful.
Thanks again,
WFONE