Your high-frequency hobbying may be a reaction to the stress you are feeling about becoming a father.
The fact that you are seeking advice shows the kind of maturity that will help you to be a good father. Relax, and in your role as father, just be yourself. You will do just fine. By the way, those babies are pretty resilient - they don't break. Just hold him/her in your arms with the love you feel, and you will be doing your baby a world of good.
When you get into your new role as father, you'll relax more, and the over-hobbying issue will go away on its own.
I started this hobby 3 weeks ago. In 3 weeks time I have visited 5 providers. I think I am overdosing on a good thing. I might be addicted because I enjoy it so much, and I have never had so much sex in such a short period of time. I'm 29 years old and married. I'll be a dad for the first time next month. I'm worried that I'll have urges to hobby every week till the day I die. I'm gonna go broke and insane at this rate. Any advice to slow me down?
It will keep you limp and it should hinder you from seeing providers 
LOL
I know it can be addictive, but stop to think about your new babys future, college, etc. and that you are possibly stealing from his/her future. I know thats deep and depressing but you need to take a big bite of reality and start budgeting your hobby money and sticking to a reasonable figure that you can afford.
At this point you are probably sex deprived because of your wife’s condition so you are not thinking straight. I predict that after the child is born you will not only have no time to hobby but also watching TV or going out with your buddies will be put on a back burner. LOL
No doubt about it, you will definately continue to have the urges. The forbidden fruit is a short ATM visit away, that's almost impossible to turn away once you get a taste of it. And the more you taste the forbidden fruit the harder it is to turn it away.
You think that you'll splurge and then it will be out of your system for good....well, that aint gonna happen. The more you indulge, the more you want it. I'll be trite here.....the hobby is like a drug, it's really very easy to get hooked. Ask anyone who's been down your path before and they'll tell ya the same.
I'd suggest a little negative reinforcement (i think that's what it's called) to help get yourself disciplined.
Ever see the "Cheers" episode years ago where Cliff Claven realized what a boob he was. So he hired a psychiatrist to hook him up with an electronic shock device and whenever Cliffy started yapping like a moron, or quoting useless trivia, the guy would zap him with a shock. The goal being that he'd get so sick of getting shocked he'd learn to stop being a moron.
I did something similar to help me keep the hobbing in check. Whenever I found myself on the verge of binging on the hobby I'd immediately do an electronic funds transfer from my checking account to IRA account equivalent to the provider donation. If I booked an appt after that my checking account would take a $1K hit that day. At that pace my checking account balance wouldn't last long. Sounds silly maybe, but it worked for me and really forced me to keep things in check.
So, I'd suggest that do something similar. If you fear losing your wife/family the most, keep a picture of your new baby near the phone. If you fear getting publicly shamed by family, friends, colleagues if you got caught, bookmark some web sites where LE puts pics of the Johns each month up. If it's spending too much money that bothers you, splurge on something else like baby toys, jewelry for your wife, a nice vacation for the family, etc.. so you have less discrecionary income to burn.
Good luck. At least you identified the potential problem early on. Many guys will go years, even a lifetime, without acknowledging the problem.
-- Modified on 6/10/2004 8:08:24 PM
But addiction is defined by your relationship to the habit/substance, not by your use.
My roomates worried that I was addicted to TER because of the late nights I spent posting. After two months, it balanced out.
With your first baby on the way, this is probably going to be the last time you can play this much, so I wouldn't worry just yet. If it continues, to the detriment of all your relationships, or sends your bank account negative, I'd worry then, and do something. Get sex addiction councilling.
/Zin
and like all hobbies it comes after the necessities are taken care of. That goes for the time as well as the money. And I don't just mean not missing the mortgage or rent payment and the minimum on the plastic. Make sure the 401K is being filled, and the CCs are getting paid down, things like that.
If you have trouble maintaining that after the first few weeks of wild abandon, it's time for zinaval's advice to kick in and for you to get help. If IT starts running YOU, you've got a real problem.
Don't lose sight of what's going to HAPPEN next month!
Stay focused on what really matters here cause...It could be once in a lifetime (for your child it is for sure) and
ITS A BEAUTIFUL THING !
Congrats and Cheers!
they'll be time enough for hobbying when the dealings done...
VonRyan Rogers
-- Modified on 6/11/2004 3:31:44 PM
Your high-frequency hobbying may be a reaction to the stress you are feeling about becoming a father.
The fact that you are seeking advice shows the kind of maturity that will help you to be a good father. Relax, and in your role as father, just be yourself. You will do just fine. By the way, those babies are pretty resilient - they don't break. Just hold him/her in your arms with the love you feel, and you will be doing your baby a world of good.
When you get into your new role as father, you'll relax more, and the over-hobbying issue will go away on its own.
Thank you all for such compassionate advice. I truly appreciate your thoughts. I guess I am stressed over the fact of being a new dad. Plus the fact that my wife and I bought a new house in March, and my wife just got laid off from her job a month ago (right before maternaty leave). The world seems to be changing so fast for me, and I needed a release. I am going to drop the hobby for now and concentrate on my family. Hopefully, I'll make more money in the next few years and begin hobbying again. This has been a truly wonderful learning experience. Prior to last month, I have only been with 4 girls my whole life (most of whom were my college girlfriends). Now I have more than doubled that number, and it feels kinda neat. lol Cheers!
You are on a slow train on a fast track. You had better lose the hobby forever if your life doesn't improve. Not only will you lose your mind, your wife, and your child, if you are busted and go to jail for a sex crime in the Boy George Bush Jr. era, Ashcroft will hang you by your balls and swear there was no memo approving the action. And please, don't get the confidence that you can have affairs with your neighbors. It's not only expensive, it's stupid. Hobbying is a game. It costs dough that you really don't have. If you want to come back to the game wait til your making alot more dough and you wife is in a much happier state of mind. If you are tired to squeezing her tits after one child, you are in for a rough year. Better yet, if you don't service her, someone else will. Bet on it. Your odds have just improved 3-1 over throwing your cash down a manhole (no pun intended).
May take a few years, but eventually you will feel the emptiness of it.
That is when you can enjoy it for what it really is, a diversion.
Be happy that you have a healthy baby coming and your wife losing her job is also a temporary setback. You can spend your money on a lot worst things, but nothing will be more detrimental than the lost of love and respect of your family. I'd hate to say that the hobby is not right for you, but it isn't. You don't have enough time logged with women in general to go out her where they are slicker and faster talking than you will ever be. Providers will gladly take your money for your dating pleasure and if that is consistent with the horizontal mambo, then so be it. My other fear is that some cutie will do more than take your money, she may grab your heart. This board is replete with examples of guys who've lost it all in the hobby. These guys have steered you right. Quit or learn that the price and the payment are two different things.