The thread below about funding the hobby led to some discussion about what married guys have to go through in order to participate in the hobby without getting busted.
Saving your milk money seems to only be part of the equation, you also have to have reason to be out of the house, make sure you don't come home smelling like perfume or oils, lipstick or a hickey on your neck, etc..
Being single with no shortage of funds, I hobby freely without a second thought. I'd love to hear some stories, insight, etc.. from the attached dudes as to how you keep your self from getting busted by the misses!
I have a pretty good situation for a married man. I often work late. I will work until 7:00PM some nights, 10:00PM some nights and even into the wee hours of the morning (sometimes all night). So if I say I am working late, it is normal. Also at work, we frequently leave the office for lunch or to run errands for my lab. So I can even do morning or afternoon outings without raising any suspicion. I tend to "work late" a lot more than I need to just to keep up the image in my wife's mind that I work late often.
I am also fortunate to have a shower facility at work. So if I do have an encounter, I can shower at work to make sure there are no signs of the encounter. I also keep extra clothes at work (usually just shirts and underwear). When I have a session with a provider, I may change shirts before the session and change back after so no signs of ther session show on my clothes. Of course, if I need to, I wash the extra clothes at a coin laundry.
On the money side, my wife holds the check book and keeps tab of all the incoming and outgoing money. The only money I have control of is our investments. So when I do stock transactions, I take some of the proceeds out in cash before depositing the money in out checking or savings where she sees it. I keep this cash for my activities.
into telling me all their secrets so I can bust my no good husband! Simmer down, I'm just yankin your chain!
What's the big deal about an alias? My regular screen name is just as fictitious as an alias.
Frankly I rarely use my regular handle just because I don't really like it very much.
My question back to you is..........why does it matter?
motives, and the nature of your quesion is asking others to devulge secrets. I can't imagine a scenario in which you could use that information to do anyone harm, but then I don't have that good of an imagination in that regard.
Seems fairly extreme, I would imagine, but there are two reasons behind it.
First, I never have to explain my whereabouts, and never come home with any "evidence."
Second, I am very fortunate in having a wife who enjoys sex as much (well, almost as much) as I do.
It has the added benefit of keeping my hobbying from spiraling out of control.
I do two things, go to massage parlors for the standard rub and a tug. I only visit these places when I travel on business. Occassionally, only 4 times in 15 years have I had FS from an escort and everyone of those times was in Canada, far from home.
I will not visit a service in my home ares or state for a number of reasons, chance of geting caught or seen by someone you know, chance of having evidence when I go home and just out of plain respect for my wife. I know that sounds silly but it isn't for me.
My grandfather used to tell me, never work for anyone but yourself and never be tied to a woman who wants to control you. The phrase losses a lot in translation, but you get the point! I followed both advices and always thanked him for it. I mean no disrespect to anyone, but I could never understand guys who lived in a relationships which required them to offer explanations for their time and money. How can you take risks that way? How can you succeed? Although, I don't flaunt my hobby, I don't feel that I need to constantly have an explanation ready. At the same time, my wife knows, based on past experience, that she is the number one person in my life. I will drop everything if she needs me for a reason. And I do it because I enjoy it, not because I have to.
I know this may not be the answer to your question, but it's another perspective!
I was thinking about starting a post very similar to this as a result of two recent incidents.
Two weeks ago after a very special overnight session I checked out of the hotel and as usual I paid cash and reminded the clerk to eliminate all charges to my credit card. No problem sir. Well a week later the charges appeared on my bill. Luckily the misses hadn't open the bill. I do have a back up plan for something like this since I negotiate rates with a lot of hotels for our visiting employees. So it wouldn't have been a disaster.
However last week I was a little under the weather and left work early, picked up the mail and noticed a bill from a medical lab. I have duel insurance and rarely if ever have to pay any medical bills. Well at the urging of my atf I had just had a complete std testing done, the results were all negative and my Dr. assured me it wouldn't even appear in my records. For some reason my insurance didn't pay $8.50 of the $175.00 bill, but the bill listed all 7 tests that were done. I have no idea how I would have explained that one. Gonorreha,Chlamydia, Herpes etc..--Honey I'm so happy all your results were negative, now get the fuck out of the house! For a miserable 8.50.
You think you cover all bases but you never know. BE CAREFUL
Good suggestion ... but why did ATF ask you that?
I guess it's better to pay cash on these test .. to be extra careful. Insurance always send bills LOL. I guess you have to pay more to hide your track.
Just tell SO, your company is requiring some new test !!!
Nothing more..
What he was saying about the bill was unpreventable, and unforeseen. He wouldn't have had any idea that all but $8.50 was covered, and for that portion, they billed him! Yikes!
people both have multiple partners its the prudent thing to do. The subject came up and I mentioned I had't been tested in quite a while. Well you know you should be. Is there something wrong with that??
BTW that was the fastest I ever paid a bill in my life, and I've got perfect credit.
and having separate checking accounts (I also have joint accts with the SO), having some gambling history (my cover story, if needed, is my itch for the dice), having a separate throwaway prepaid cell phone for the hobby, and trying to eliminate my browser tracks every computer session...seems to have worked so far!
I am a photographer and do a lot of traveling, so whatever happens on the road stays on the road. I normally visit out of town massage parlors. It would not be a problem having fun when close to home though, since my wife works a 9-5 job. My schedule is erratic, so I would not need an excuse for where I was or when, just tell her I had a shoot.
Mike
My wife only manages to find time for us on weekends (Sundays usually). I hobby during the week.... preferably lunch time when I schedule some "sales calls" to keep my office in the dark (usually a hospital.... no cell phones allowed so I'm in the clear for dropping out of contact for 1-2 hours).
I always shower after the encounterto keep my underwear from generating any telltale smells that might give me away. (OK, that was TMI for most of you,I'm sure but you have to be careful with that one if you have to keep your hobbying underground and you don't ALWAYS do your own laundry)
never use a credit card for a hobby-related activity that is billed to your home address
never give out your home address or phone to a provider
never use your home computer to visit ter or browse provider sites
never hobby in your home town
never come home fot the evening after hobbying
never use a family cell phone for hobbying
never use any funds that your SO knows about to hobby
never use an e-mail account for the hobby that your SO knows about, and never check that account from the home computer
In my case, I think it helps that I don't have a cell phone, officially anyway. I do have a hobby only cell phone, which of course I take great pains never to reveal. It spends most of the time at work.
As mentioned elsewhere, it helps to be known to gamble some. Since there are quite a few poker clubs in LA, the poker story can be used to explain absences and extra mileage on the car.
.... a few tips