Pardon me please as I stand upon my soap box for a minute! As a provider I enjoy most of my encounters and love it when they are a lil adventurous. However I just spent 2 hrs with the biggest Jackazz I have ever had the misfortune of encountering. He and I had exchanged dozens of emails over the past month and talked quite a bit on the phone. I would never have agreed to meet with him had I known he was such a schmuck in advance...seemed real sweet from the phone etc. A very cold degrading personality, and he was scheduled for 2 hours! UUUGGGHHH!
I am all for a lil kink and have enjoyed many a spankings but this was not a spanking to create mutual pleasure...his sole intent was set upon causing pain and degradation. I can tolerate most of what he did but after 1 hr straight of full palmed bareassed abuse the threshold had long been crossed yet he refused to stop. Warned several times that he was causing me pain above my toleration level, did not phase him or his intent. There was absolutely NO enjoyment on my end and I unfortunately found myself constantly glancing at the clock praying he would leave soon. This is so not me! Usually, I lose track of the time and it just goes so darn fast that I am usually a bit let down when it is time to say good bye. I am at a loss as to how to handle situations like this. Having never disliked anyone I have met before...what should I have done? Please don't be mean about this question. I didn't want to be rude and risk a vengeful review, so I took it like a trooper and now suffer from several bruises and a swollen backside...the long drive home will surely be painfully uncomfortable. Is there a polite way to kick someone out of your room? Whenfirst contact is made I always state upfront that I do not allow painful play, and am always very blunt about what I like and do not like.... Your advice on this is greatly appreciated
should have from this guy. I'm glad you posted under an alias, but you realize that if the jackazz reads this board, he will definitely know. IMO, you will not get a good review out of this no matter what, and even if you did, that should never be your motivation to do something you aren't comfortable doing. Chances are you would do it and still get slammed, so you would be twice wounded. A gentleman should know that regardless of the activity, and regardless of whether he feels he has paid for the experience, when a lady says no, it means NO! I learned this in middle school, for chrissakes. This guy was no gentleman. As to how to handle this, that's a tough one. Given his sadist nature, I couldn't in good conscience recommend you be more forceful in declining, unless you were in a location where you could quickly and easily get help. If I were in your shoes in that situation, though, I certainly wouldn't have hung around, I would have given him back at least half his money, and told him to get lost.
I hope your butt's OK!
I almost always suggest that new girls I contact get a few referrals from girls I've seen even if they don't require them...my little way of helping the hobby out.
My God, wouldn't you girls want to know what the voice on the other end of the line is all about before opening that door?
Your situation could have been avoided in all likelihood by a referral or two from anyone he'd seen in the past. In any case, I'm genuinely sorry that happened to you.
Learn and grow,
Jacksonlips
Don't cross your boundaries. They are there for a reason. You can get up and politely ask him to leave. I have done it before, and it gets easier after the first time. Trust me.
As far as spanking goes, very few people do it correctly. I like to teach clients how to do it right first with a whip, and sometimes I let them try it on their way out after the session, even if its not their cup of tea. Just the smell of the leather gets them all worked up, and it leaves them with a great visual. There are velvet whips that are so soft and don't leave a mark. Personally I like to mix it up a bit, and I have been lucky in that most of my clients like to try new things with me. This makes me very happy to see them happy.
Take a bit of time off. That was a difficult time for you, and you don't want to carry emotional baggage with you into your next sessions. There are a lot of therapists that work on sliding pay scales. It could have been much worse, and you were lucky.
inform the local providers of his name and other characteristics.
He could be really dangerous.
I especially think you should cut and paste netmichelle's first paragraph, print it out, and put it by your bed, your refrigerator, your bathroom mirror, or wherever works for you. They are truly words to live by.
In particular, I was really upset when I read "I didn't want to be rude and risk a vengeful review". I said this in an earlier thread, never, under any circumstances, allow yourself to be pushed beyond your limits for the sake of a review. It's never worth it.
As for being rude, the situation went well past all such considerations. It wouldn't be practical but you'd have been well within your rights to break the bozo's jaw, or his balls.
in this situation, being rude would have been the only way to get this jerk out of your room.
I'm sorry you suffered through this experience, it sucks. I hope your bruises will heal and I suggest you take some time off and when your comfortable enough, if you wish, to return to the business and I'm sure the respectable gents will appreciate it very much.
Guz
This may have been posted previously on this board.
When it comes to kink that can cause pain, adopt a policy that it's simply not allowed until you have had enough dates that you are comfortable with the person. While not failsafe, this should weed out some jerks.
-Hoot.
You should have told him to leave once he crossed over the line. The session was over. Polite way? Negotiate the split of the money. Awkward, but it wouldn't have inflicted physical pain. The important thing at that point is not to be polite and civil, it's to cut your loses and get out without injury.
Don't be afraid of a bad review. One bad review won't end your career. If I read one bad review in the middle of many good ones, I wonder if it was the provider or the guy who had the problem, especially when the provider seems to be a different person from the other reviews.
This sadist couldn't have written a truthful review anyway, at least not without other providers recoiling for him. You probably still have a bad review coming from him now, despite the abuse you took. Humiliation is probably in his repetoire too. I'm saying that hanging in there to avoid the bad review was a bad decision.
It's just a reminder to me the risks a provider takes in meeting any of us. I'm glad the rest of us have conducted ourselves so well that this came so unexpected for you, and hope it's the only wrenching experience you ever have in your career. I despise the fact that assholes like this might poison the well for the rest of us, providers and hobbyists both.
/Zin
Taking such abuse for the sake of reviews is disheartening. I understand, because I've been there. Feeling powerless is not a good feeling.
I'd email staff and warn him about this guy. If a review pops up, he'll remove it. I've had similar circumstances and found Staff to be very helpful. THANK GOD.
When a lady feels used/abused, she needs support from both escorts and hobbyists.
An abuser shouldn't be allowed to become "one of the guys" by gaining power through reviews and/or message boards. I've seen it happen in the 4 years I've been an escort (men who gain power on a message board using their posting name to intimidate ladies). Staff and those involved in handing this site have always sided with what's morally right.
If you need support, please feel free to call or email me. I hope you're having a better day. I've included my link so you don't have to dig for the info
This is hilarious! Clearly Need2Bytch knew she had scheduled a two hour spanking session with her client. She accepted the date and the money. Then when her meany client actually did what he had paid to do, Needy gets all upset because she isn't having a good time.
If Needy wants to have a good time, then she needs to be giving it away. If she is getting paid, she needs to shut up and earn the $4 per minute she is charging.
Welsome to the life of a working girl.
read my post above if you have to learn why.
or ask him to leave and give his money back, you dont have to suffer from what you don't want !
more important, it hurts you, so stop as soon as possible.