After reading a few of the topics this week regarding pubic hair
preference and CIM theories, I started pondering life after escorting with a SO.
Since entering in the biz, I do think I have become a better lover and am more in tune with what a man desires, and am able for the most part to fulfill it. However, I am curious if I were ever to find a SO, would I know and be able to do enough to keep him satisfied? As it seems most (not all) women as well as men become complacent after being in a relationship for sometime. I'm not insinuating that I'm better than someone's wife or SO, I'm just more aware due to what I've heard, witnessed and experienced. So, given these things, can someone be so
hot they keep their partners attention no matter what, or is there no level that can do that, only communication and commitment? All thoughts and comments welcomed.
~CarleeofArizona
On a board for providers and hobbyists, you're not going to get many opinions from people experienced with lifetime monogamy. 
It's an old but accurate steryotype that lust and love are not the same thing, especially for men. People may share both at various stages in a relationship, but lust is never an exclusive feeling, and a man who is not conditioned to be / does not choose to be monogamous will take the opportunity to explore, even if he and his SO still share lust for each-other.
Because I knew I would get honest answers! The general population is unable to obtain monogamy but for the sake of argument I was just curious if it is possible to know enough. I agree lust and love are completely different.
I'm also curious if a man could know and do enough to keep a woman continent sexually as well. In one hand variety is the spice of life while having someone whom you adore and treasure to snuggle with on a cold winter night gives me room for hope.
~CarleeofArizona
It depends on the people involved, which I'm guessing you already know.
Warmth, love, affection and sex can all exist in a monagamous relationship, and can last for years (effectively forever). How strong that commitment to monagamy remains is going to be determined by concious choice; despite what we may like to think, no one accidently decides to stray, and we do not stray just because the quality of sex we get at home isn't what we hoped for.
because some of the men here might be able to say what might have kept them happier at home and not having to spend money they might be using for other important things. Admittedly, some men have the extra money to spend, but there are quite a few on here that could really use to not spend it on the hobby.
Besides, a lot of the responses were the right ones...especially rbear's. Good job, guys.
Love and lust can coexist and be mutually enhancing in the enlightened soul.
because of your "life experiences", you have a better appreciation of what it takes to make a relationship last.
You understand, better than most non hobby women, that there is a very strong physical component to a relationship that needs to be nurtured and cultivated all the time.
I think you, and all providers, would be able to succeed with a SO after escorting because you know the "pitfalls" and what to do to avoid them.
You also know that sex is not a bargaining tool to be used against each other when ever you want something.
Just my opinion...
B
LOVE....you'll know it when you and your SO feel it!
That being said, Carlee, and speaking of the time I was a non-experienced lover( and believe me VR still has plenty to learn),
I have been amazed at the difference of "civilian" versus "provider" sexual technique/expertise. One can memorize Kama Sutra but when it gets down to actual performance and variation and comfort and skill and ease...You get my drift,the list can go on and on.
Its been one hell of an experience...experiencing, experienced providers...AWESOME!What seperates these providers from the inexperienced civys is the total control and awareness of their sexual body functions.
Now, I've said alll this to leave you with a rhetorical question, Carlee...would he know and be able to do enough to keep you satisfied?
Cheers!
BTW...Its been said and documented that love conquers all.
I generally agree with VonRyan on this, but one thing that comes to my mind is the ladies who become providers come from the same "pool" of ladies who end up being "civilian" housewives/spouses, etc. Some are more in touch with their sexuality than others and some of these ladies become providers so they can more freely explore and enjoy their sexual freedom, at least outside of the confines of a "traditional" relationship if the other party can't deal with their sexuality or sexual awareness. Or so I've been told.
I think a man would be satisfied with a woman who was able to accept and fulfill his needs regardless of her having the "skills" of a provider or not. I know some guys who are turned off by some of the things a provider likes to do or enjoys doing. Communication is the key as well as having an open mind to accept the desires of your S.O. and then find a way to resolve the details, like if he's hung like a horse and wants anal sex all the time and she's not into it for whatever reason. Ideally, she should accept his desire for anal sex as something that isn't a *bad* thing and work with him to find a way this desire could be met without her having to suffer severe pain or discomfort. You get the idea.
This question also makes me wonder about guys who see providers out of the thrill of seeing providers, even if their spouse is able to satisfy their sexual needs.
Peace...
then it is a MAJOR problem.
I believe if you take your natural sexuality along with what you have learned in the "biz" into bed with you and your future SO he will have few if any reasons to stray. Remember however that monogamy is not natural but rather a cultural doggma. I personally feel that monogamy is a noble and honorable practice but as you said only truly possible with commitment and communication between partners.
I would say it all depends on how much you are willing to work at things. Intimacy and relationship are hard things to launch.
I know I may get flames about this, but people are not very good with this intimacy thing, so is enough ever enough? It can be, but that requires a very enlightned man. One that is able to get past generations of social training. And for you to learn how to trust and be open to the posibility.
I think if both people are in a constant search to make themselves a better human being the relationship has a chance.
If one or both have expectations about how it should or will be or even worse how the other person is supposed to be, the relationship will be difficult at best.
If you go in thinkning or expecting for it to last, it probably won't. You have to make it last.
Think of all your friendships, the ones that last either because there is very little intimacy or commitment, or there are those rare ones that are based on truth, love, respect and intimacy. Which one will you have with your so?
"I think if both people are in a constant search to make themselves a better human being the relationship has a chance."
That is the critical thing as I see it.
In general, (like all generalities, exceptions abound)women are more intuitive and rely much more on their intuitions, non-verbal communication etc. than men. Men in general are more physical, non-communicative (you never talK to me!), and rely on logic and hard numbers (hence the discussions on this board that tend to try to quantify something as subjective as a sexual encounter). These differences are the root cause of most relationship problems between the sexes, and require a lot of work by both parties to overcome. Some partners will tell you that sex is better now than it was umpteen years ago, and it really should be. If it is, it is probably because they both grew in the relationship, and not just because they accumulated more mileage in the sex arena. Communication is key, and a lot of guys, myself included, are either reluctant or lack the communication skills to get what they really want out of a relationship. Complacency is not a given; it's what happens when you quit trying. End of sermon!
Its possible.....my wife and I still have a damned good sex life even if she is a terminal bitch at times........She is open to anything I like or want to do and is able to mention anything in particular she wants at any given time.
thats after almost 14 years....and we still knock the bottom out of it each and every night.
So yes it is possible. As long as BOTH you and him are willing to keep things interesting.
-- Modified on 6/4/2004 12:39:36 PM
Yes you would be able to keep him satisfied; because you are open to discussing what he wants, have the experience that would lead to expermentation, and the desire to please.
