Back in the mid to late 70's when VonRyan was dong the dating thing in earnest, it was a different simpler time.
There were no ATM's,only about 6 or 7 television channels,no cell phones,faxes,internet...amongst much other inavailability.
Thing were less hyper and hectic...(those were the days)
When you dated back then, one had to round the 4 bases, to "score" and enjoy/release sexual energy...
Since communication was normally direct as the one home telephone was too public and a commodity in many households...
Romance was perhaps more genuine as relationships blossomed up close and personal....Vr woyldn't "score sometimes until the thrd or fourth date...maybe not at all since"values" were in the way in my tight-nit NYC Parish.
As a father of two teenagers it was an awakening of sorts to read this past Sunday's NY times article on teen sex and how the internet and cell phones have led our teens to eliminate the "base paths". They "hook up".(common term amoung teens to connect via internet and cell phone than get together for oral sex or intercourse without any strings attached)
The article was in the NY times magazine section and you can read it on their web site(free registration)
After I read it, in some ways it left an emptiness and void for me in that the kids of Today...even though they have more ...may be missing out on the simpler, more finer things in life. I 've made it a point with my children to make them aware of the past
and that sometimes reading a book is alot more satisfying then internet chat or 500 channels on the boob tube.When I have my sit downs...Its amazing to me when they themselves didn't realize what their parents didn't have 25 years earlier.
I would imagine like anything else their is no subsitute for direct heart to heart communication with your children.
So I ask,Where has society gone wrong or right?
Cheers!
Btw, sure the internet has led me to TER but I've experienced many of life's simpler,easy going experiences...
I guess that's why my sessions are different in that I'm not a waham bam thank you man kind of guy.
-- Modified on 6/4/2004 5:41:31 AM
....while our sexual natures have found an expedient "healthy" outlet. We TER types really are the prime example. I did accidentally fall deeply in love (at least how I define it) with a now retired and moved away ATF, so the capacity is still there for that "once in a lifetime" relationship, but thank goodness for the review boards!!!
A very thought provoking post VR' I was just thinking the other day about what we payed for communications back in the 70s. Back then a $30.00(home) phone bill was outrageous and television was free. Now between my Home phone, cell phone, Cable TV / DSL hook up I'm spending about $250.00/month on communications alone.
Todays teenagers are a product of several generations of liberal divorce laws. They have been raised in a world where there are almost no examples of true life long relationships and marriages so they are adopting a cold casual and non commital answer for their natural sexual drives.
Are all these changes in our technologies, morals, demeanor and treatment of each other wrong or right? It is more a question of adaptation to the surrounding world. However; The fact that 50% of the public is being treated for depression and taking anti-depressant drugs speaks volumes.
FR.
But then thats just me................
I remember when having long, hippy hair and bell-bottoms was shocking to my parents. Each generation has changed this world. Sex and romance have evolved into something much more liberal than what it was when I was growing up. But has society gone right or wrong? I think that we will not know the answer for a few more decades, when our children have grown up and become the base of society.
I certainly think at this time that society is not headed in the right direction, but I'm sure that's what my parents felt when I was young and reckless. But I see some great things in some of the kids today and think... wow, what a gret time to be living in! With the advancement of technology, this world will change even faster. And society will follow.
I too read the article in the NY Times and found it very sad. It was not the promiscuity which bothered me as much as the lack of simple human warmth and true relationships.
Do you remember how wonderful young love was, despite the pain? I think these kids are missing out on something wonderful.
Will they be ok? I think so, but that does not make "hooking up" the best of ways for kids to relate.
My relationships with providers, generally a good deal older than these kids, are far warmer.
FS
I think that every generation of kids adapts to their own enviroment. This is not something that just happened overnight. I recall a few short years ago while I was in high school the attitudes about sex and relationships seemed to be changing. But when you compare my parents age group to mine; we weren't all that different. They had cruise ins, the back seat at the drive in movie, which equate to our "hooking up". Now I find myself thinking the same thing about teens that are only a few years younger than me. I don't see things changing, I only see it as evolving.
Is this society heading in the right or wrong direction you ask? They are headed in the direction that is right for them, just as we did; no matter how uncomfortable we are, or no matter how we might see it as "wrong". Think back and try to remember, your parents probably thought the same, or didn't undertand your generation either. I am sure you instilled good values in you own kids. But they are going to apply that to their own situation, maybe in a slightly different way than you expected, and necessary to adapt and/or evolve to the world of today. The values, the romance, are not gone; just used and applied differently.
"The more things change, the more they stay the same."
best regards, mr.man
Freedom,JP,Singer, Fire-side, and G-tac.
I guess what bothered me... was that the article doesn't really mention teen romance and relationship building as being prevalent choices Today for our teens.It gave the impression that a majority of teens are "hooking up" this way...no exchanging glances...no smiles...no "puppy love"...no "drive in " antics, no first base, no second base....You all get my drift.The young ladies in the article were portrayed almost "Stepford" like.
As Freedom mentions, Divorce rates are high...and many parents both work so I imagine it becomes much tougher for communication
of "good" values from generation to generation...let's just hope that it sinks in to the vast majority...if not maybe still by osmosis.
It is also interesting to see that there were no provider responses on this. It would be great to hear their perspective.
Btw, I suggest everyone take advantage of NY Times free registration.Its a great favorite place of mine.
On a lighter note...for the Virginian...After two beers and a shot...I feel the same way pal... cut right to the chase.
Cheers!
stick to the basics over the years...doesn't it?
a good example on how to behave? Escorting? Being a hobbyist? Just a general question. Maybe that is part of the reason why our society is just the way it is today?
I wish I had the same advantages in my youth. With internet and cell phones, its easier to find sexual partners, there's less hypocrisy, and more freedom. The writer of the article put a lot of her own hangups and prejudices into the story. One thing in it doesn't ring true -- the writer said oral was almost solely guys getting it from girls, and the girls not getting it. Now when I was horny young teen, I would definitely had eaten young pussy at every opportunity (only I didn't have any till much later).