As a very experienced rope top, I'm aware of the time required to do it well, allow the bottom to adjust to the sensation, and the aftercare required when they are released. As I don't personally fetishize the rope bondage, but merely enjoy doing it and giving the experience its hard for me to rationalize doing it when I'm paying for every second... especially when I can't just let her hop into her car afterward, even if she thinks its just fine.
When I was in the local public scene, my reputation was good and women would essentially "reward" me just for giving them the experience of a good tie session. If a provider enjoys this herself or wants to experience it, is it inappropriate for me to explain to her that I feel that some of the time required to do it correctly and allow recovery should be her personal time? In BDSM communities, its normal practice for these trained and practiced skillsets to be highly valued... Am I wrong to think this is trade worthy if its an experience that I am giving not receiving?I understand the skill and tim it takes and the need for great after care but I can;t imagine any provider would agree.
Is what you propose any different from: A dinner date then return to the hotel roomful for sex but "the dinner is on your time darling since it will make the sex so much better because we have gotten to know each other first."
Providers are in business and I don't think many of them will want to mix business with a personal interest of theirs, especially if they are travelling. But I certainly think it's worth inquiring about at least, maybe you could get a 2 hour session for the price of 1 hour.
I sometimes see Pro Dommes advertising barter situations...trading a session for an auto mechanic or an accountant's services...but have never seen escorts do this.
Doing the things we do does indeed require a lot of time and energy. As a professional top, I tell folks coming to see me how much time I'll need to successfully get through a date/experience. I know how long it takes to successfully execute dates, including aftercare if need be, and as a lifestyle top, you should understand that as well.
If you know you need 3 hours to successfully rig someone up, play with them, bring them down, and do aftercare, then book 3 hours. Also of note, not all professional bottoms/submissives require aftercare, and they should let their preference be known. In that case, book 2.5 hours instead of 3.
Also you certainly CAN just let her jump in her car and leave after the scene is done. She has control and autonomy over her own body, and if she doesn't want aftercare from you, she is not obligated to it no matter what you think.
Rigging is YOUR thing. You're seeking it out, and you've decided to seek the services of a professional bottom/submissive rather than lifestyle submissive. You pay for all of their time, regardless of their enjoyment levels. That's akin to asking a doctor to charge less for a surgery that happens to be their specialty, or asking anyone in any service sector job to do their job for less pay simply because they enjoy their work. Sex work is no different. It is still a job regardless of enjoyment level
okay- I don't want to be bitchy, but.... rope bunnies are a dime a dozen. (I could find one on fet right now, so could you)
sooooo if your p2p w/this dame, it's for a reason.
Not to mention the psychological prep & physical prep some of us go through, fasting, enemas, shaving, waxing, plucking, body makeup, microdermabrasion, etc et al on top of physical effects of restraints sometimes lasting for days...
Does she tell you her problems? Ask you to buy her tampons? Nag you about chores? Probably not.
If she's a good provider, it's all about you. It is a job, a hard job (and I'm not complaining, I fucking love it) and the work needs to be recognized-reward you? This is the same argument of "She enjoyed herself, I don't have to pay her." Seriously, bro-
The time and effort it takes to give exceptional service is pure mastery, there are those of us who even go so far as to create a psychological profile before hand, and it begins with the confirmation phone call, before you even meet, creating that right mix of what you need and what you desire.
So, if you don't want to pay her, you don't have to see her.
And I do understand where you are coming from- all I do is fetish & BDSM & restraints- but there is more to what providers do than a lot of clients realize.
If you feel your skills are that good, make a fet-l profile and start slinging some masculine driven dominant rope bondage.
Okay, I might've jumped the gun on this one- I misread, now I see your saying aftercare should be on her time.
And, I totally fucking agree.
I actually don't factor in the aftercare of my clients as part of their session- they are "donating" for the play session. Especially considering some don't need aftercare, but some need a couple hours to come down. It is the considerate thing to do, and is good for me from a professional standpoint.
Maybe just talk to this girl, you know blahblahblah I'm paying for the session, after the session you kicking it is your choice, and, at worst she'l get into her car while still in subspace, but that's her choice-
Good luck.