I think the judging is my whole point though I could be missing something.
Do you want the lady who pisses in your mouth to also judge you to be a "pathetic loser" for asking for it. It appears that some do.It takes all types.
Let's be careful about judging.
Those were the keywords in an ad I saw in the Dom/Fetish section on BP. The lady was quite attractive and in doing some research, I found that she also had escort ads so it sounded promising to someone looking for "Sensual Domination" (i.e., Domination with actual sex acts).
Couldn't get past the "Pathetic Losers" thing however. I see this kind of thing all the time nowadays and it seems to be typical of the direction that BDSM has been heading for a while (See Cuckolding). To each his own, I guess, but I fail to see the attraction in seeing someone who wants to treat you like a pathetic loser.
Just my 2 cents worth.
I bet a lot of people would think I'm nuts to pay a gal to piss in my mouth.
It takes all types.
Let's be careful about judging
I think the judging is my whole point though I could be missing something.
Do you want the lady who pisses in your mouth to also judge you to be a "pathetic loser" for asking for it. It appears that some do.
It takes all types.
Let's be careful about judging.
What I'd like her to convey is a sense of power over me by having me crave her pee, and in addition that she find this sense of power sexually gratifying. And yes, this is a rather complicated psycho-sexual fantasy, but those tend to be the best.
by saying that I actually do care what the provider thinks. That would be that I care that she thinks that I behave as a model client in terms of decorum and fairness, and is inclined not only to see me again, but looks forward to the opportunity, and therefore treats me as a valuable client.
If however, she considers as a class, a client who pays to drink her piss to be hopeless losers, so be it. I'm not interested in changing her mind, especially if that thought somehow propels her skill in what she does
That could just be the market that she caters to. Perhaps giving humiliation and/or degradation are specialties of hers. If so, it would actually make including that line a clever move since it would push away potential clients who aren't into it and attract those who are.
As a sub, I've enjoyed getting called much worse than a "pathetic loser". To each their own kink.
Agree with mrfisher. It's not my thing, but "pathetic loser" would fall under the category of humiliation fetish and/or roleplay. If she's Domme and GFE, I wouldn't worry about it if you wanted to see her. She's providing a service, and if you don't want that service, she should be smart enough to leave it at the dungeon
from men who call themselves pathetic losers in an attempt to get some attention. Women who advertise like this are simply trying to cater to a specific niche and they probably get quite a bit of interest.
OTOH, they could also not have a clue what they are doing, are advertising in the Dom/Fetish section to expand their audience, and just figure that talking like that is expected.
Somewhere out there is someone who likes being treated like this.
K
Very good points. I've actually thought about contacting this provider because of her other escort ads. Maybe she's just catering to what she thinks a lot of guys want. I just can't relate to it, if that is the case.
This is a world of fantasy: From age play (subs who want to be diapered and breast or bottle fed) to those whose play revolves around specific and complex scenes and roles. Some want to be slaves, others cucolds,others "forced" into bi service. Most of us are familiar with OWK which survived for year and was located In the Chech Republic, where slaves could sign up for a week or more of utter slavery, forced to sleep on the floor of cold cells with a thin blanket, punished with real pain. There were some men who were caned until bloody as punishment for imagined transgressions.
One of my favorite providers for years had clients who paid a lot of money to be subjected to absolutely disgusting treatment that I leave to your imagination. After she moved she would return to Philly and I met her for lunch one day. I saw her for a social lunch one day and she asked me to meet in her hotel room. I got there and she wanted to show me something. She opened a closet and there was a blind folded hog tied gagged "slave" She showed him off to me as she told me what a "piece of shit he" is and how she was going to leave him like that "for days maybe". We then went out to lunch.
I used to see a sub in Arizona who also liked to be chained and blind folded (but no gag) in a closet while I went outwit a female domme she would see regularly. We would go out for an hour or two and then come back to play with her. By which time she had climaxed at least two or three times by being left there.
The one thing that was always important when ever I played as a dom was the after care filled with tenderness and affection from me toward the sub which was important to both of us in being clear where the fantasy ended and the mutual affection and respect was reaffirmed.
I am not surprised that there are subs who want to be told they are "losers" and probably need to be punished for their failings. I would guess that is cleared u0 at the end of the session, but maybe not in their fantasies.
I wonder if the guy hog tied in the closet was a trainee for some government espionage outfit and this was a part of his training?
If not, it would be a hell of an idea for a movie script
My comment did seem to put and end to the discussion.
I wanted to make two points in relating what I did --all based on my personal knowledge and experience (tho some is second hand as I have my limits.) (1)This is a fantasy World and the fantasy has not limits as long as the power exchange is by free and understood consent and some of the things even those I find ridiculous or disgusting I do not look down upon as long as the consent is there and 2) For me the after care of the session is very important which is a reaffirmation of the affection and respect the dom has and exhibits for the sub which signals and end of the fantasy moment and re-establishment of the one on one relationship.
As I know you know and believe: In the end, affection, sex, and love have many ways of being expressed. It is the human condition. As long as it is by true consent between competent adults, it deserves respect.
Here's my way of expressing eloquence on the matter, with song:
I know and frequently play with a couple of Dominatrix friends of mine who can take men to extremes I could not even imagine, even being the submissive "pain slut" I am frequently told that I am! On the other hand they can be the most sensual, fun and caring ladies I have ever known.
On person can have multiple sides to their persona, and be able to present the one that is more to your liking. That ad might be meant to attract a certain audience, but her scope may expand well beyond that which is projected.
I would check out her reviews (if any) and talk to her and see if there is any mutual ground.
Just my 2¢.
Clearly being a "Pathetic Loser" is not a Ds experience you crave today. That is where you are, relative to everyone else. I can hear myself saying exactly the same think 10 years ago.
BDSM and Ds play, on either end of the Dominant or submissive spectrum, can be a long term experience for a person. What is your Hard Limit today, becomes the Kryptonite you crave, to demonstrate your submissive commitment.
Any Hard Limit, is given and taken simultaneously. It's the beautiful moment where each person obtains deeper understanding of themselves and of the twisted kinky marvelous rabbit hole they share. I have fond and powerful memories of those moments and the person I shared them with.
I never needed or imagined being severely humiliated "Pathetic Loser." However, recently I spent time with a Domme who enjoys the entertainment and creative value of just that type of play. In short time, I became her pathetic loser, because I needed to please her as she desired. It was a lovely experience.
Enjoy the ride
Some people are seeking exactly that. Someone to humiliate them and treat them like a pathetic loser. I was at a fetish party last week and aside from the beatings, and the bondage, there was a girl who had guys on their knees, essentially begging to be treated like shit. She was as mean as could be to them, and they were eating it up. Talking with her afterwards, she spoke respectfully about them and seemed to really like one of them.
A domme who treats a client like a pathetic loser doesn't actually think that any more then an escort who treats her client like she is into them really is. Which is to say, that perhaps some do, but, mostly, it's all part of the act.
It's not my thing, but neither is pain and people are into that as well. The one I really have a difficult time getting my head around is financial domination.
Thankfully, we are all allowed our own kinks and there are people who will happily oblige them.
in a very intentional consensual power exchange scene it can really turn me on. In fact, just had a really intense scene like that this past Sunday. SOOOO fricken hot. I am still masterbating about it. Pink wig and all. Oh I looked pathetic. Doesnt work for everybody but for some of us.. YUMMY!
you can always stress you dont like this when you meet the dom.. i have different subs who like one thing and not the other..
just my 2 cents
There aren't any satisfactory explanations that don't involve pages and pages of psychoanalytic discussion but the really short answer is that sexual fantasies invariably revolve around unresolved, anxiety inducing sexual distortion or they are wish fulfillment on many other levels, often with the object of the fantasy being a surrogate symbol for something unattainable or that produces a desire for ownership to create an imagined equal social playing field in real life.
Folks into humiliation are seriously into the head game aspects of it. There is alot going on there that is specific enough to each individual that there isn't enough space here to go through all the different dimensions possible. What is consistent is that the sexual components are literally just anxiety management and self soothing during the process. So they create a heightened, anxiety provoking state and then use sex to try and reclaim their independence from the "feeling" and self-soothe into a state of "resolution of conflict" by achieving peaceful feelings through orgasm.
I always found it funny that it was the people least likely to be familiar with suffering humiliation at the hands of other people were the same ones who were always asking me for it. Go figure.
A LOT of guys PREFER to be treated that way. It's a significant percentage of the bdsm customer market. I prefer the more mild mannered submissives rather than the ones with a big "Kick Me" sign on their back seeking attention.