Usually I'm just a lurker and read through the posts, find some amusement, occasionally get educated and every so often enlightened.  I have seen some posts recently on pregnancy and find myself having to post a message and say something.

I find it interesting that in this day and age of saying that we are for the women to have choices and do what she wants with her body, some of the same folks will turn around and have a double standard at a provider because she so chooses to continue working in this profession.  One post says something about it's one thing if the woman chooses to expose herself to STD's by being involved in this profession, but it's another thing when there is an innocent life involved and my question to those is: do you also think the same about abortion, or is that somehow different?

And then there are those who say, but I'm different and I would have never gotten myself in that position to get pregnant in the first place (I seem to recall someone also saying that if somebody got pregnant on the birth control, that person must have been incompetent and didn't take it correctly)  I know someone who used to say the same thing, "I use condoms while working and I'm on birth control in the event a condom would break"  and yet that person got pregnant, not because she's incompetent or did something wrong, but because she she had an unknown medical condition with her hormones and the birth control was no longer as effective at it's current dosage.

Oh, and then the posts about how they pity a provider who couldn't get another job while pregnant to support herself?  WTF!  Perhaps she's actually being smart to keep making the big bucks to save for this new addition, you think a job at walmart is going to cover the bills and provide a good future?  

Funny how people can be so ignorant and pass judgements on other people they hardly know and just write them off as someone under them because of the choices they make.  One can never truly have the right to judge another unless they were actually in that position.  Sometimes accidents do happen and there might not always be someone to blame, so think twice before pointing your fingers and thinking you know what is right and what is wrong.

Why do I say these things, because for myself, I am a provider and yes, I am pregnant and I am going to choose to keep working to a certain point in the pregnancy.  It's not because I do not have any other means to provide for myself, it's because this makes the extra money to keep myself and my future taken care of.  

What do I do other than this for money? I run a landscaping business which entails designing, installation and maintanence.  I have a business degree and I'm currently working on my botany degree, horticulture is my career.  I know accidents happen because I am that woman who thought I had all my bases covered, that there was no way I could get pregnant, and yet I found out, it does happen and I didn't do anything wrong, as I am having other medical conditions which stem from finding 2 spots of high grade carcinoma in situ on my ovaries.  I was in no way irresponsible for my finances, as I always made sure to have individual health insurance and disability in the event I got injured out in the landscaping field.  However when one has an unplanned pregnancy, insurance doesn't cover for maternity care.  Being pregnant is not considered a work related injury.  That will have to come out of pocket.  

I choose to have this child because I do not believe in having an abortion for selfish reasons.  I do not judge others who have, as I tend to be an empathetic person who tries to understand others, even when I don't agree.  I try not to deal with people in a patronizingly superior manner just because I don't agree on how I would have handled the matter had it been myself.  I know that something could very well happen where I may not be able to work later in the pregnancy (medical complications, getting too big to do my landscaping jobs), so I am working my butt off in both of my fields so I have plenty to live off of (goal is making enough to put aside for one year coverage of paying bills and supporting the basics) in the event that the worst happens.

As for what I'm doing decision wise, adoption seems to be the best choice for me at this point in my life.  While I am still providing, some items on the menu will be dropped or prepared differently.  At a certain point, I will have to hire someone to take over my landscaping business to finish out the season (thus more money loss)and hold on to customers till the following spring.  

Oh, and those who think the baby is going to get brain damage from all that sex and getting boinked in the head needs to read up a bit on babies and having sex.  Sex is actually encouraged between married couples and just about everything can remain the same, although after a bit, certain positions may be more comfortable for the mother.  The only reason sex may ever be discouraged is because of a medical condition the mother may have (especially if she already had a weak cervix, which is not caused by being oversexed).  By the way, someone asked, my libido is higher than ever and my body seems to be more sensitive, thus meaning easier arousal.

I'm sure some will still throw stones at me for my decisions, so be it, but those who know me through the years know I'm a smart cookie and I played my cards right, sometimes these things do just happen.  But I do hope that some of you will reconsider your judgements and perhaps educate and enlighten yourselves a bit before casting the first stone~

Thanks for your time,
Nadine

-- Modified on 4/30/2004 4:37:16 PM