Yayyyy! I love this topic...unfortunately, there is really no tried and true method that every woman will love. I can speak for myself and what I like, but of course, that could be totally wrong for another woman.

I'll tell you the #1 mistake I think that men make when performing DATY, and that is assuming that just because they did something on one woman that worked for her, that every woman will like the same thing. Bad, bad mistake. In order to be good, you have to be able to change your style based on what your partner likes.

Mistake #2 when a woman goes, "oh yeah baby, right there mmmmmm" that is not some code phrase meaning "Switch!" When you find a spot that she likes, STAY THERE!!!! Please, please, please don't take that as a sign to move onto something else. Listen and feel her response.

Mistake #3(and I blame porn movies for this one) faster and harder is NOT better. Using your tongue like a jigsaw on someones clit isn't good...imagine sticking your dick in a blender...similar.

Mistake #4 Tongues are not dicks, don't treat them as such.

Mistake #5 It's not ALL about the clit all the time. Use your lips and tongue on all of her vaginal area, inner and outer lips, the creases. I like to tell people you should think of it as if you are kissing a mouth. The clit is the tongue and the lips are, well, the lips.

Mistake #6 Most women do not enjoy teeth down there...do you? Ouch!

Mistake #7 When she gives you feedback about what she likes, and what she doesn't like, listen to her. Sounds simple, but some of you guys stubbornly stick with things that don't work.Eventually she'll stop telling you and, stop sleeping with you.

Personally, introducing digits for me isn't very good unless you are using them to stimulate my g-spot. See-sawing fingers in and out, well frankly it doesn't do much for me.

On the other hand (no pun intended)one in the ass....well, that's pretty good as long as we are good and lubed up.

If you are with a woman that likes fingers, please make sure that your nails are trimmed, no hangnails (yikes), and make sure your hands aren't dry as sandpaper. Lube em up with something!

As for facial hair, that's a matter of taste....heavy stubble doesn't feel good though. Rub burns hurt!

The spit question...well I have never thought about it. I get so wet...well it's like spitting into the ocean. Not noticeable.

I hope this is helpful for you guys. And happy dining! xxx Octavia

Re:Question for the ladies only; gents, let's sit back and learn on this one

I have found the BIGGEST turnon ever for me was when I knew that the man was

1) enjoying HIMself.  

2) interested in EXPLORING me (sensitively - please start slowly), languishing over "it",petting "it', saying sweet things to "it".

3) Doesn't expect himself to know everything, as each girl is different.  And at different times the same woman's needs are different too... timing, pressure etc. Feel free to ASK!

4)If you start getting nervous and boring a hole into the same spot with you tongue or finger, pull back, take a breath and maybe ask her to show you where she is feeling what today.  One poor man was so nervous that he started to dig a hole into my thigh with his fingers...I began to think maybe he didn't want to see me "there"...well, for purposes of safe sex, visual inspections are part of the deal....

5)You spoke of facial hair.  I do not find moustaches or beards exciting.  Actually they hurt unless they are long enough to be really soft, and still doesn't seem to do much for me personally, even though I am lasered and hairless and thus more sensitive than I was when I had hair there.

6(Spitting.  Well I hate it when a man spits on my breasts, and even though he might like me to do it on his lovehandle, I don't care for that, but who am I to keep someone from expressing himself.  I guess once I understand what he is "saying" by doing it then maybe I can enjoy it.  But until then it is meaningless and I have no sensation from it.

7) Again, start slowly, flat of tongue on clit also works very well when things become too intense, and yes, play with my nipples!!! I love.

8(But of course some of these things don't work on all women, or on the same woman all the time.  So back to square one.  Explore, and enjoy.  

Finally, hopefully he will take the attitude that he is NOT being judged.  A good provider who loves daty is even happy that you are interested!  So enjoy discovering her!!!  



-- Modified on 4/29/2004 10:53:44 PM

Blowing on the clit never did a thing for me (do they do that in porn movies or something?). Otherwise, varying techniques from licking, sucking to even gently biting the clit are all good for me.

It's fine to move away from the clit in the early stages and lick or suck the labia or go inside the vagina with a finger.. For me, one finger, not two, are best and it should be one-half to one inch rubbing inside the upper vagina, because that hits my G-spot perfectly. If there are a lot of secretions or lube, a finger a little ways in the bum is great too....but if no lube, yikes!

Rimming the bum with your tongue is also an out of this world experience. Lots of nerve endings there.

A great trick is to take a few long licks of the tongue from the clit all the way to the bum--very erotic, at least for me.

Hardly anyone ever does it, but I also like a tongue to probe inside the outer vagina at times--feels kinky and cool. I've done it to other women (I'm very bi)--don't worry--it just tastes a little salty.

After you've hit the clit and then the surrounding tissues, (where basically everything feels good to me), then at the end you do need to concentrate on the clit to get me to the big O. For me, it does need to get harder and a bit faster at the end. Even if I'm bucking my hips, keep your lips and tongue glued to that clit and don't break away to do something different, like break away to put a  finger inside. You will lose all momentum for the O that way.

Lastly, I admire the guys who can multi-task and manage to massage my breasts and nipples as they do DATY but it doesn't really add much except a nice visual. After awhile, it makes more sense to bring their hand(s) down and use them in the clit and vulvar areas.

Thank you for asking!

Re:Question for the ladies only; gents, let's sit back and learn on this one

Okay--we got it about every girl is different, so just tell us what YOU like.

*What I prefer is for a guy to put his hand under me and bring it back over from the top and hold me open for his enjoyment(needs long arms...lol). This allows him to use his other hand for additional play. When actually dining I like it all wet and sloppy, and really slow kind of like teasing . I have found that the difference from men and women dinning is the amount of pressure a man puts on a women. All that needs to be touching me is the wet licking tongue. When a woman licks pussy she does not press her head she uses her tongue as a discovery sensor to give enjoyment which in turn is teasing and extreemly errotic.


Does ice do it for any of you [ice cubes or crunched up] and if so, explain?

*No...........It is cold....

Does your partner need to get into the vicinity before you give precise instructions or can you just take them straight to it from the start?

*I would never assume a guy does not know what he is doing, so first he would have to be in the vicinity and if he is doing something I love and decided to change I will guide him back. HOw? by putting my clit up in his face and holding him by the ears so that he does not have an opportunity to change again....lol!

What edible work best during DATY i.e. won't cause you problems later [e.g. jello? juice from fruits? ice cream?]

*All a man needs is my sweet tasting pussy!!!!!!!!YUMMY

Does your partner need a long tongue or just good technique with the tip of the tongue?

*He just needs to enjoy what he is doing ( a woman can tell) and everything else falls into place. Oh yeah! and it needs to be wet...........really wet.

When it feels good and you start to cum, when you're saying, "stop!" should we keep going to drive you over the top, or do you really want us to stop because it's counterproductive [it really is hard to tell in the heat of the moment]?

* I never say stop ......... unless I mean stop. I usally say do not stop, no matter what, keep going. I will usually push a man away if I need him off of my clitt.

Kisses & licks............
mara of san diego

GREAT QUESTION AND THANK YOU LADIES !!!

I know you only wanted the ladies response, but I had to say a few words.

This is an education for a lifetime.
While I don't profess to be an expert, I'm no slouch either.
However, the respones from these wonderful ladies has really opened my eyes.

Again, thank you ladies, I can only hope to take your thoughts, comments and "instructions", and put them the proper use.

Just my opinion...
B

I have had the pleasure of dining at over 300 of the finest restaurants in my life and feel that I could give a description of what is appreciated from many different aspects.

I doubt even the bi ladies have had that varied experience.

But you don't want our input, so you shall not have it.

He and a old friend of hers decided to theach me how to eat pussy, Two girls and both liking it diffeently.....

No egos. no bullcrap. Best lesson I ever learned in life.

Every single woman I have ever been with likes it differently, you have to listen to cues unless you have been with her long enough what she likes or not and exactly where. And in the following 25 years I have goten real, real good at it. Assuming the lady is confortible enough to let herself really enjoys it and give cues to how she likes it. and what her buttons are. And believe me ladies, I always listen.

Same thing with orgasms, Wife has some real, real  intense ones, where you have to be carefull about teeth and all.  

Lesson is there is no one right way.  

-- Modified on 4/30/2004 11:28:09 AM