I just had a nice time with with my FB and as we were laying there catching our breath, she mentioned that she wished I was more vocal about what I like and maybe even mix in some dirty talk.
I heard this from the last provider I saw and from just about every woman I have slept with.
Here is the deal try as I might I can't think of anything to say.....it just doesn't come naturally to me?
Whats a guy to do?
This may be one area where it helps to see the same lady more than once so you can become more comfortable. But my advice is just be yourself. If a particular type of talking doesn't feel natural to you, then don't talk that way.
I'm not one to do it either. I've been with a lady or two who has liked to talk dirty, and it doesn't bother me. It's just not who i am so i don't do it.
Body language is just as important as verbal. I will tell a lady certain things as we go along(more when i'm with my ATF) but the Jamie Gillis(sp?) Jane you ignorant slut take it and like it type of talking just isn't who i am.
You don't have to talk like a sailor to add that kind of zip to your time in bed. Tell her she's beautiful, that you love the way she moves, tell her whatever you're feeling at that moment...and it doesn't have to include words you would be uncomfortable saying around someone you're not physically intimate with.
Sex is all about communication, and the difference between a good lay and being Great In Bed is the way you communicate in ways other than the physical.
Yoda
but I do believe in clear communication. As has been pointed out, after a number of times with the same woman, a communication protocol develops making it easier for each person to understand their partner's signals. Remember, you're responsible for your own pleasure; you need to tell your partner what you want, just as you need to be receptive to their requests.
I, too, am uncomfortable with talking dirty for its own sake. I feel silly. But, I'm still very verbal. For some reason, a lot of people think of sex as being very serious. On the contrary, I've found humor to be an excellent way of moving things along. A gentle sense of humor and whimsy can go a long way toward helping a woman feel comfortable and relaxed.
"You fucking slut. You like that? HUH? (Hair pulling in doggie) I know you feel it, yeah, I know you want it. No. You can't come yet. I won't allow it." (Wham-wham-wham) "I told you not to come yet." *whimper-moan-NetM-needs a-towel-and-a-glass-of-H2O.*
I have no idea why I like it. Maybe because it makes me cum all over the bed. Try it. It might make you believe in magic all over again.
I must be a wimp. I could never talk that way to someone I was being intimate with. How can that be a turn-on? It sounds disrespectful, contemptuous, almost hateful.
Damn, sex is mysterious!
... Sexuality can come from parts of us that we don't like to admit we have. When we can get to them, we can get "nasty" & some of it comes out in dirty talk. Some people find it easier to get in touch with their nasty side than others When they can, it can be pretty powerful, especially if your partner can get in touch with her's at the same time.
It isn't easy to get to, but the results can be worth it. On a personal level, I sometimes find it hard to get to my own "beast". I can be controlling and analytic if left to my own devices. When I can do it, I can attach to all my power and aggression and strength. Ladies can speak for themselves, but I imagine they can attach to their sexuality and the power they must feel to bring out such "mailiness" in a man.
Keep working at it agentsmif. It will come.... Harry
it's good have a little dirty talk and sometimes it doesn't feel right. Go with what you want.
Hugs,
Ciara
but, as many have said here, it's all in your own definition and form. MasterYoda's suggestion is a good one..Snowblind and Michelle's, too..
Basically, just start saying your thoughts outloud, "God, I love the way your hair falls over your cheeks so that I am seeing your wicked smile through your hair..the way the light plays on your beautiful breasts..I love watching your breasts flap around when I fuck you hard..and seeing how dripping wet you get when I ..." Ok, you get the idea..
That's the best way to start.
I'm hesitant to talk 'dirty' to clients until I've seen them a few times and can get a better feel for them. As I said before, when I was brand new in the biz and talked dirty to one client, he held me out at arm's length with the most disgusted look on his face. Oops! Guess he's not into that kind of thing.
My personal life partner is the best I've ever seen at dirty talk. He can make me cum so quick with the crazy stuff he says. Michelle's right - it just does wonders! Best toy! LOL
So, now, I just talk outloud. Talk about something I just recently did and ask them if they would have liked to have seen that..been there..have me do that to them..etc. Works like a charm!
I'll have what She's talking about!!!!!!!
I've always been the talker.
Kind of hoping to get back with some talkers now that I'm back to serial dating. My Ex used to throw the old " I love you, you're my one and only forever " at me in the throes of passion~~which got more and more obviously NOT true as the weeks went by.
It does help us, guys, if you tell us what you want, a little coaching never hurts.
Elise [email protected]
I find that when everything is going right, my ability to speak english just kind of trickles out my ears. I can, and do, purr, groan, moan and thrash around. But anything even dimly resembeling coherent thought just 'aint possible. If I am not in full primate mode then we are just warming up.