Your s.o. loves heavy BDSM, and you are not that into it all the time? It is ok, but not a preference. I have thought about just getting professionals to join us.
I know how to change my car's oil, but prefer to have my mechanic do it.
Pros exist for a reason
I would love to have an s/o let me know they approve of my playtimes with their partner! Just the fact that I could leave a good red bottom behind without fear of discovery would make me a happy Mistress 
K
Lots of folks hang out there.
Some of the couples I see (I am an escort as well as a ProDomme)are in the exact same situation and they found out that having a professional in their play time really took the burden out of the not so comfortable partner and made the BDSM lover very happy. I even showed some simple techniques/play practices to ladies that were afraid of hurting their partners and now they are happily exploring more and more every play time.
I don't know which part of the country (or world) you are, but look for a reputable professional that is couple friendly and have a great time.
Sweet Kisses or hard spanking...
Sofi
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