I try to avoid the hassle of commitments that far out. It seems to me that there is always more unnecessary communication involved and half the time you're moving things around to accommodate someone's schedule adjustment.
If it's someone I really want to see I contact them a few days out. Most of the time I contact them the day before I want to see them and give them a three or four hour window that works into my schedule. Being from the DC area - there are always plenty of providers to meet.-- Modified on 3/18/2017 1:51:31 PM
I typically like to plan and schedule my adventures far in advance. The only time I had to cancel was at least 3 weeks out and my travel plans got changed beyond my control. The lady I had planned with had plenty of time to adjust and had no issue.
I have recently scheduled with a well reviewed lady and about a month in advance. Her reviews do not indicate any flake or cancellation issues. Given a unique setup that she has I reached out via pm to seek some advice. In the answer to my question I also learned that she is prone to last minute cancellations.
I look forward to my infrequent opportunities and would hate to be cancelled at the last minute with no options. Setting up a plan B and then cancelling that is not in my style. How do you all suggest working around this possibly bad situation?
The last to visits to the New York, New Jersey area have both both ended with last minute cancelations from providers. All were set up with a minimum of a week ahead of time, all were canceled either the day of the appointment by the provider or by me because of fear incurring cancelation fees and or threats of being black listed. So I never had a "Plan B".
So, inquiring minds want to know, what do you do??
but your plan B should never be another confirmed appointment which is double booking and ensures that you will be doing to one of them exactly what you do not want done to you.
Agencies are a great plan B as most agencies are accustomed to booking short notice appointments. Another possibility is to check out the "available now" section of P 411, contact any of those providers that strike your fancy and let them now you "might" be in town looking for a short notice appointment and if they might want to get your screening out of the way. A lot of these P 411 girls can screen you in a matter of minutes and won't consider you a time waster in the same way a provider who takes days to screen might feel. Any provider who does "thorough" screening above and beyond checking out your P 411 profile and okays is not likely to want to waste that effort on a "maybe" nor should she.
Aside from that, choosing a good plan A is the best approach.
I like to plan my playtime in advance as well. You have to have a Plan B in place. Recently I had a falling out with a long time Plan A provider I've been seeing the last few years. So now my Plan B provider is now my Plan A provider. Plan C provider is now my Plan B. Always have a Plan B when seeing these providers.
Prescreening. Say something like, "I'd like to see you, but my openings are sproradic and it might have to be last minute."
When your plan A cancels the day before your appointment. You can get screened in that amount of time and I'm not ready to try BP to look for a date.
We exsist. I've had to cancel one time and that was due to food poisoning. If she is prone to cancellations and you have a feeling she may agian....sounds like you should find a better suited provider.
-- Modified on 3/18/2017 7:01:35 AM
I plan in advance and have learned the hard way to look for reliability. The times that I've gone for a Plan B after a cancellation have never been as satisfactory. Being flaked on leaves me pissed off and that's not a good mindset for decision-making.
If I'm seeing a woman, it's because I want to see her, not just because I want to get my rocks off.
Why stress over a provider who is prone to being flaky and cancelling? There are many girls available, I'm certain you can find someone who interests you who has a good reputation.
That's one of the problems planning -- and I suppose even not so far out given all the NCNS boths sides complain about.
Here's a thought. You know where you're going to be and you apparently know what your daily schedule is going to look like. Why not simply reach out to several of the other ladies in the area you have some interest in seeing. Introduce yourself, let them know your general time frame and say you're not sure things will pan out but if so you'd like to get the paperwork out of the way. Then if your planned visit get flaky and cancels you can reach out to the others to see if they are free.
No guarantees there but not setting any false expectations for anyone either. You could probably even tell them why you're not able to commit in advance and I suspect most providers won't care at all.
and it's unlikely that many providers are going to invest the time to screen a guy to be a plan B option.
It is a lot more likely that a woman might pre screen a guy who has an "unpredictable schedule" and is flying by the seat of his pants time wise than it is for her to expend the effort to screen some guy who has already said he would prefer to see another woman.
Yes, these women are pros and are doing it for the money, but they are still human and telling a woman that you "might" want to fuck her if your first choice bails on you is NOT the way to endear yourself to her. lol Some times a little white lie goes a long way in sparing someone else's feelings.
I'm sure that you'll find both and one could approach the situation with a "I have made prior arrangements and don't like to cancel on my arrangements but I did just find your ad....."
So, sure, we live in a world a illusion and temporary intimacies so sometime honesty is TMI and unwelcome. But if I'm not mistaken you've been known to suggest providers just see us as ATM -- or am I attributing something to you that belongs elsewhere?
Of course, if a person's reviews some other provider in the same city then that next girl already knows she's Plan B for that reviewer. I don't know how far down this rabbit hole we want to go as it's really got no solution.
I'll agree that it's generally better to be nice; that one need not be an open book and sometimes too much honesty is not at all what others want and putting the cards on the table will make them uncomfortable and possible not like you for it. But "full disclosure" was never the point of that side comment. The point was the OP was just over thinking things here (or perhaps under thinking them so needing to post for advice). Even being as blunt about the situations as telling the girl they are a backup plan will not really cause him a problem -- it might reduce the number of responses but only a few nutcases here would BL the guy for it (even in their own little private BL).
I bet you I have more "hooker buddies" than anyone else on this board. There is rarely a day that I don't talk to several women from these boards just to "shoot the shit" as we are friends. I am the last person to suggest we are just ATM's to these women.
and no, it's possible to word things where the lady in question never has to know she was "Plan B" I often travel without any idea when or if I am going to have enough free time to "play"
Ok, in my case, it's more of a matter of "when" not "if" but I am sure you get the point. lol
and yes, I agree with the bulk of your post, pretty much everything but that one sentence.
I am the last person to suggest we are just ATM's to these women.
.
...and I realize that sometimes, stuff happens in life. So as a former Boy Scout, "Be Prepared" has served me well in life.
Do some research, find a potentially compatible provider or two in the area and contact them. Get pre-approved and let them know that you will in their area on a specific date and that you are looking for a possible appointment.
Should Plan A fall apart, you can then move on to another provider that you've already contacted and let them know that your schedule has opened up and see if they are ready to play.
While you're on standby, do you forsake other appointments in the hope that you become his now "Go to girl" incase his plan A falls through? Can you be ready in an hour or so? Hope it's not an outcall appointment. There's no easy way around this except to find someone who has a reliable reputation and hope for the best..No girl is going to sit, waiting by the phone for us if she's your plan "B". And if you use an agencies as your plan "B", then you'll get who is available...it's a crap shoot.
-- Modified on 3/18/2017 9:21:24 AM
Who in their right mind would expect that from a plan B provider, unless they are paying for the on demand back up?
Could be the guy has one hour (or 2 or whatever) and a given day and that when everything has to happen. If so sucks to be him but I get why planning in advance is his thing (so long in advance is a bit questionable though). But if that's the reality the his reality here is he gets one change -- if it falls though take a cold shower -- or buy the insurance policy.
But if his schedule is that inflexible he'd do better hobbying another time, maybe even closer to home.
My reality is that I am out of the country for 3 weeks leading up to this. My experience has been that the extra time zones, busy schedules and Internet uncertainty make it even harder to respond promptly. Hence planning way ahead. Hopefully it is not questionable in anybody's mind. You hit the situation exactly. I have a very limited window and things do need to work perfectly. They always have with one exception. That was during flu season and the provider called to beg off since she was coming Down with the flu. I appreciated that call even though it disrupted plans.
I never ask anybody to be plan B. That would not be nice or fair.
Thanks again for all the helpful opinions
I try to avoid the hassle of commitments that far out. It seems to me that there is always more unnecessary communication involved and half the time you're moving things around to accommodate someone's schedule adjustment.
If it's someone I really want to see I contact them a few days out. Most of the time I contact them the day before I want to see them and give them a three or four hour window that works into my schedule.
Being from the DC area - there are always plenty of providers to meet.
-- Modified on 3/18/2017 1:51:31 PM
thanks all
I would not ask anybody to be a plan B and wait for a possible change in plans. when I had a very difficult schedule a while ago I asked a few to prescreen in the event that I had any time open up. it seemed to work.
thanks for the advice.
As a guy that put himself in a tight situation, as to being able to reschedule in case something happened and drove 800 miles round trip to see a lady and had her cancel (legitimately, I think). I would say cross your fingers.
About one week is the sweet spot for me. If I go further out than that, the cancellation rate goes up and I end up annoying providers and/or bookers. My usually practice is to book three sessions on Saturday, one each for the following Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. A few weeks ago, I booked a popular girl ten days in advance, and sure enough, the day before the appointment, something came up and I had to cancel.