It may be less unique and meaningful for you. Just because it's not for me doesn't make me a sophist. Maybe it's because I'm younger, more emotion based or simply less jaded. It doesn't really matter. It's clear we don't have the same experience which is fine. I'll try not to generalize and project mine as the truth for everyone if you'll show the same courtesy.
A beautiful women touring in my city popped on P411 Available Now feed and I was feeling like some company (OK, I was aching for it). I briefly checked her reviews (didn't do detailed read because it was really spur-of-the-moment) and saw they were amazing for looks and performance. Price was high but decided to see her anyway, and set a date for a few hours later that evening.
Later learned she'd been number one in her pretty big home city for many years.
Session was a little disappointing. Nothing wrong, she turned out to be a really nice and very beautiful lady who wanted me to have a great time. The menu was a little narrower then I expected (an email misunderstand didn't help - I'd confirmed something and she said yes and then realized she'd misunderstood). I think we just didn't click that well.
At the end I told her I was a little surprised at the menu and she basically said 'I can do a bit more on a second date, and I'd be happy to give you a discount on a second date, but please don't give me a bad review.' I think it was totally sincere... if I called her for a second date, she'd come through. I said not to worry, I wouldn't give her a bad review.
If I reviewed her I wouldn't give her a bad review but it wouldn't be the 10/10 she is used to getting.
Part of me says "Look, she tried hard. Wanted to make it up to you. And besides, it was largely a chemistry issue so your experiences may not translate to other people. She's worked hard for a long time to build a great rep. And you kind of promised. So just don't review."
Part of me says "Hey, you made a large investment in seeing her, you wish you hadn't. An honest review might save someone else from the same mistake. And besides, it will still be a very positive and fair review. Just not perfect."
Given that there is no right answer here, what would you ladies and gentlemen do?
and a 10/10 if you think she merits it next time.
...but the second or third time they have seen that provider.
So I would book again right away to get that discount! (they are rare)
And review the second session.
She sounds like she has plenty of reviews and doesn't need them to build business.
There is a certain amount of kinkiness to keeping a session private and never reviewing imho
... how could she possibly qualify for a 10 performance score? How is she getting 10s with her limited menu??
And you said she's "very beautiful", so why is a 10 on the appearance side a problem?
Good questions. If her limited menu doesn't include stuff like DFK, BBBJ, and greek, the best score that the OP can give her would be a 10/7. No need to worry about chemistry keeping him from giving her a 10 for performance, because his review will get rejected until corrected. If he is concerned about her maintaining her high average ratings despite her limited menu, the best that he can do is skip the review. But if the current rules stay in place for long enough, reviews are eventually going to drive her down and others up.
And you said she's "very beautiful", so why is a 10 on the appearance side a problem?
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Objectively as possible. I never penalize a girl's score for lack of connection as long as she was engaged and made an effort. Sometimes I'm just not into a girl for whatever reason, but I can't blame her for that. It takes two to make a connection. Limited menu is certainly fair game, especially if not as advertised or different than what her profile says.
it's hard for me to say what I would do because I avoid talking about reviews during the time the lady and I are together, and therefore, avoid this dilemma you're in. If it comes up, which it rarely does, I'm basically noncommittal.
Since you said you wouldn't give her a "bad" review; the issue is around what your definition of a "bad" review is and what hers is. The one thing I don't understand is why she could do more on the second date that she couldn't do on the first.
On the other side, being surprised by the menu is kind of on you for not researching better. The only time I was surprised was when I saw a gal without checking reviews, so that was on me, but I still wrote the review and was honest about it.
It really depends on how comfortable you are with any possible blowback, and we can't answer that for you, since we don't know your situation.
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one thing you shouldn't do is give her a better review than she deserves just because she asked you to please not give her a bad review. (A bad review to her being what? Anything under 10/10? [raspberry]) Don't give her a better review than she deserves because she promised to let you do more the next time. Don't give her a better review than she deserves because she's used to 10/10s.
The chemistry thing is a nonstarter for me. Yeah, it's a personal thing, and it shouldn't knock her score down by three points or anything. But this business is about connections, and that's part of what you're paying for. No reason whatsoever not to be honest about it. So what if that won't be anyone else's experience?
Unless it really was you're fault. You were in a bad mood and projected it onto her, or whatever. It's your duty as a reviewer to take that into account. Reviewers have to possess self-awareness. That goes for the purely sexual part as well as the emotional part. Some things are your fault, some things are hers, and some things are just a matter of chance.
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Plenty of top tier providers have a mediocre review from time to time...as you said, chemistry is a large factor in the equation...
I would do one of 2 things...
If you are not going to see her again, give her your most honest review...make sure you detail the chemistry and communication issues...but don't be unkind...
If you are planning on seeing her again, wait and review the second encounter...you can always detail how the first one didn't go as well as you would have hoped...and if date number two also disappoints you have a solid position to work from...
I see no problem in postponing the review . You are under no obligation to submit a review until you are comfortable doing so. But I do have a prob with inflating a review for a discount. So it seems to me you are sorta in a grey area here.
It sounds like you are leaning toward waiting . And that's OK. See her again . If the session is an improvement over the first encounter and is more in line with what you expected you have every right to give the scores that reflect that experience. In the narrative , however , you should be honest. It's allowable to mention this is your second session with her and the score is slightly higher than it would have been had you submitted a review based on your first meeting.
Of course , only if indeed the second effort exceeds the first.
Just be sure your evaluation is not governed by a discount.
Seriously?? This is exactly why reviews are pointless. No wonder she's "top rated"...she begs for leniency and offers a discount. Hell, maybe I should start doing that! I could be the #1 hooker in the whole world! Discounts for 10s! I thought that behavior was supposed to get a person banned. You're not doing your fellow hobbyists any favors by lying for her. Rate her honestly! Sounds like you picked her based on the rating, which was a LIE!! Had people rated her honestly, you might've chosen a better hooker.
So you really don't know.
The OP never said he had a horrible time or she had misleading pics. He was simply asking if it was OK to delay his review until a next visit. There had obviously been some miscommunications about desired services and maybe circumstances affected the session.
He's under no obligation to submit a review until he's ready to. And at that time he should indeed post a totally honest review. On this you and I are in agreement.
You seem to miss the part where I admonished the OP not to let a discount affect his scores. And to include in his narrative that this was his second visit. Hell , if it's as disappointing as the first , let her have it. If it is what he had been expecting based on her review history acknowledge the effort.
You are certainly entitled to your point of view. Might actually mean something if you didn't hide behind an alias .
Let's face it, we made moral and ethical compromises the moment we entered this world. You don't seem inclined to write a review and you are not obligated to do so, so don't. It may be my "situational ethics" but I will not write an inaccurate review. So I often elect to not write one at all rather than post a negative one.
"I often elect to not write one at all rather than post a negative one"
Why? No one's forcing you to write them (though, as in the OP's case, they can induce you to), so as you say you're under no obligation. But to not write one *because* to be honest would be to be negative, what gives? Why not just be negative?
One more reason why the review system is untrustworthy. What, you don't want to hurt their business? Why not lie, then? That'll not only not hurt them, but help them. Then they can pay you on the head like the good boy you are.
If you come from the "if you don't have something nice to say" school, maybe you shouldn't be reviewing at all.
I never got the allegiance to the "community" here; we're a people with dicks that you'll never see, meet, or think about (hopefully). If one of us croaks, you probably would never even know about it. The girl, on the other hand, is someone you were inside of. For cash, yea, but nonetheless she did more for you than any of us would.
If I were the type to write reviews, I would never do it at the expense of a rapport with a girl who made me cum and offered concessions to do so again. Aside from whatever the misalignment was, she sounds like a nice kid that did her best and you still had a decent time. You weren't played, you weren't ripped off, you weren't robbed...just honor her request and let her keep her scores or whatever. It's too close to burn bridges over.
She makes you cum for money, just like a zillion other guys. Once that envelope's on the counter, your obligation to her is fulfilled. They like it, a lot of them, when you ask permission. And I do, out of courtesy, but I don't even consider that an obligation.
If it's someone with whom I have a special rapport, above and beyond making me cum, that may be another matter. Like maybe I'd perjure myself to keep my brother out of prison, I don't know. But that's never come up in the hobby world. One girl I saw multiple times and enjoyed myself with, but cut her off from my money after she made a comment about scores. Because that's none of her business.
Don't write accurate reviews out of community spirit, because you're right, it's not much of a community. It's more a matter of you want honest reviews when you're looking for a girl to buy, so you do it for the other guys. Or don't.
Thanks for the "fuck you." I'll put it on my fridge.
-- Modified on 3/11/2017 12:02:59 AM
"She makes you cum for money, just like a zillion other guys."
Yea ok, but to harp on how many guys she pleasures really misses the point. Nice of you to bring it up, though, I guess?
She's a girl he had a fleshly interaction with. We're faceless users on a website. If we're weighing who matters more, yanno...
"Don't write accurate reviews out of community spirit, because you're right, it's not much of a community. It's more a matter of you want honest reviews when you're looking for a girl to buy, so you do it for the other guys. Or don't. "
Uh yea man, "or don't." That's kind of what we're discussing here.
I don't think bringing up other clients misses the point. I'm just putting things in perspective. It's not some special, intimate connection. It's a business transaction she makes no doubt with many, many guys. (Unless relationship means more than that to you and/or her, and I covered that, but that's a side issue.)
Obviously, it's a more intimate relationship than the one you have with other hobbyists. (Unless you just so happen to be friends with them.) But I don't weigh the decision as strangers versus someone with whom I've been intimate. It's more a matter of that's what I'd like to have done for me. Paying it forward, so to speak.
"That's kind of what we're discussing here."
We're discussing that, but not that alone. There's the "to write or not to write" dilemma, but I also care about the "why." Because too many potentially helpful reviews remain unwritten for what I consider bad reasons.
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-- Modified on 3/11/2017 12:06:25 AM
Obviously, it's a more intimate relationship than the one you have with other hobbyists. (Unless you just so happen to be friends with them.) But I don't weigh the decision as strangers versus someone with whom I've been intimate. It's more a matter of that's what I'd like to have done for me. Paying it forward, so to speak.
"That's kind of what we're discussing here."
We're discussing that, but not that alone. There's the "to write or not to write" dilemma, but I also care about the "why." Because too many potentially helpful reviews remain unwritten for what I consider bad reasons.
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-- Modified on 3/11/2017 12:06:25 AM
I'm in this business because I want those intimate, special connections. The money aspect allows me to support myself. Granted, not every encounter is special, just like every day at another kind of job isn't fantastic. But when the connection happens, I'm singing along to the radio in my car on my way home. For some this job is a means to an end, and for some it's a calling.
As for the review, just weigh what would work best for what you want. Do you want to see her again? Would writing a review jeopardize that? If so, why write it? Be selfish.
If you read my post you'd see I said the relationship *can* be more intimate, but isn't necessarily just because, as the above poster put it, you were inside of her/came in her. That was the line of argument. It wasn't about this business being all business, all the time.
I don't want to use the word "degrade," because it's too strong. But the twin facts that it's based upon money and plenty of other guys get the same deal tends to make the relationship less unique and meaningful. Only a sophist or a special pleader would argue otherwise. Bearing in mind, of course, that those things don't preclude a more meaningful relationship. But that's not what the argument was about.
It may be less unique and meaningful for you. Just because it's not for me doesn't make me a sophist. Maybe it's because I'm younger, more emotion based or simply less jaded. It doesn't really matter. It's clear we don't have the same experience which is fine. I'll try not to generalize and project mine as the truth for everyone if you'll show the same courtesy.
That she's in a business where she serves multiple men doesn't matter. The OP was conflicted about whether or not to write the review and ding a girl he made a connection with. They shared an intimate moment, she made an appeal to him specifically not to write the review along with an offer to make up for her shortcomings. This obviously struck a chord, given that he's conflicted, so he should just put the two on a scale: a bunch of lurking ass dudes on the other side of a computer screen versus a girl he fucked and may very well fuck again; the interaction with real world implications for him versus what mrIpayforsex8392 thinks about him on TER
I say fuck "paying it forward." But if you're of the mind that that sort of silly shit matters on a fuck board, he can do that down the road by writing about his experiences with girls he isn't conflicted about reviewing. I'm sure we'll all survive not knowing the specifics of this one encounter.
Why on earth would it not matter? Given the grounds of argument, I mean. You were the one that brought up the special nature of the relationship based on physical intimacy. I fail to see how the fact that you pay for that intimacy and she has the same deal with many other guys doesn't cheapen its importance.
I sense undue hostility in your post, and I'd rather not talk to you anymore.
not before I say some other shit though." lol.
Anyway, that's not hostility you're reading, it's just contempt. You're struggling mightily to grasp the nuances of the subject at hand and I think that earns you a little impertinence.
So why would she do more on the second date? To get more money from you doing what she should have done on the first one? That doesn't sound good. I am not saying she is conniving but I would have asked her about that. I do wonder what you asked her about and she said yes then later said she didn't understand. It all sounds odd. I certainly would not book a second date with her! About the review, just be honest. No need to bash but just give your honest review of her skills, the date and her appearance.
so maybe stay true to your word? But a review can be less than perfect but still not be a bad review. If you want to try with her again then *maybe* wait until you see her again and see if there is a difference. If you really think your personalities didn't click then I'm doubting you will want to see her again.
This is a review site. Some guys review every lady they see, some only review if a lady wants a review, and some won't review a bad experience and some don't review at all.. It's basically up to you though. Do what feels correct to you.
Steph xoxo
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-- Modified on 3/10/2017 10:03:51 AM
...mention that in your review. If it's disappointment in her services that more diligent research and more careful communication would have revealed, then I'd lay the blame on myself and just not review her.
If you can see your way to giving her the "second chance" session within the confines of her menu, then maybe give it a try and see how things go.
I made the mistake recently of booking a session with a reviewed provider who was traveling through my area (a rare occurrence in my rural part of the county). Even though I knew she was a "safety girl" and I'm a GFE-oriented client, I booked the session anyway.
No surprise that things didn't go as well as I'd hoped (deluding myself before the session, most likely) and so I didn't review her. Any disappointment was mostly due to me.
Later learned she'd been number one in her pretty big home city for many years.
Session was a little disappointing. Nothing wrong, she turned out to be a really nice and very beautiful lady who wanted me to have a great time. The menu was a little narrower then I expected (an email misunderstand didn't help - I'd confirmed something and she said yes and then realized she'd misunderstood). I think we just didn't click that well.
At the end I told her I was a little surprised at the menu and she basically said 'I can do a bit more on a second date, and I'd be happy to give you a discount on a second date, but please don't give me a bad review.' I think it was totally sincere... if I called her for a second date, she'd come through. I said not to worry, I wouldn't give her a bad review.
If I reviewed her I wouldn't give her a bad review but it wouldn't be the 10/10 she is used to getting.
Part of me says "Look, she tried hard. Wanted to make it up to you. And besides, it was largely a chemistry issue so your experiences may not translate to other people. She's worked hard for a long time to build a great rep. And you kind of promised. So just don't review."
Part of me says "Hey, you made a large investment in seeing her, you wish you hadn't. An honest review might save someone else from the same mistake. And besides, it will still be a very positive and fair review. Just not perfect."
Given that there is no right answer here, what would you ladies and gentlemen do?
On the regional boards, this way it isn't directly on her profile, and some people will still be duley warned and notified of the situation. This way, you kept your promise & did what you felt was right. Win, win.
I am sure you don't want him getting a "time out" for breaking TER rules, do you?
this is a dilemma?...review the session now and have the other discounted session after 90 days and do another review...both will show up according to new rules...just because things did not go "perfectly" now does not mean they would be any better later...there are plenty of great providers without being a perfect 10/10...so what, if your review of her would be good, not great, at least it should be honest...if she really is that great of a provider, a 10/9 or even 10/8 will not hurt her reputation or business
Later learned she'd been number one in her pretty big home city for many years.
Session was a little disappointing. Nothing wrong, she turned out to be a really nice and very beautiful lady who wanted me to have a great time. The menu was a little narrower then I expected (an email misunderstand didn't help - I'd confirmed something and she said yes and then realized she'd misunderstood). I think we just didn't click that well.
At the end I told her I was a little surprised at the menu and she basically said 'I can do a bit more on a second date, and I'd be happy to give you a discount on a second date, but please don't give me a bad review.' I think it was totally sincere... if I called her for a second date, she'd come through. I said not to worry, I wouldn't give her a bad review.
If I reviewed her I wouldn't give her a bad review but it wouldn't be the 10/10 she is used to getting.
Part of me says "Look, she tried hard. Wanted to make it up to you. And besides, it was largely a chemistry issue so your experiences may not translate to other people. She's worked hard for a long time to build a great rep. And you kind of promised. So just don't review."
Part of me says "Hey, you made a large investment in seeing her, you wish you hadn't. An honest review might save someone else from the same mistake. And besides, it will still be a very positive and fair review. Just not perfect."
Given that there is no right answer here, what would you ladies and gentlemen do?
After reading everyone's comments and getting a few very thoughtful private messages I've decided
- While I don't need to to review her, it would help the community, so I will
- the review of course will be fair, not inflated or harsh. Which means pretty good scores, though may be not the scores she's used to
- if I did see her again I'd re-review and give whatever score was earned, but honestly I'm very unlikely to repeat
Also... for the record: there was never an offer of discount or other incentives for a particular score, but a request (which did include an incentive during the next visit) not to review if the review wouldn't be good.
Thanks for the support!