TER General Board

How to not get caught
Dfusethesituation 344 reads
posted

Rule #1 Don't get caught!!!
Rule #2 Wash your ass!  I shower before, and after a session when I schedule to see a provider.  Makeup, lip gloss, body glitter, hair follicles, whatever the case may be is always naked to eye and shows up at the most inopportune time.
Rule #3: Plan accordingly.  God forbid an emergency occurs and your needed to pick the kid up from school but your in another city banging some hot escort out, shit happens but proper planning usually takes care of most situations.  
Rule #4:  Stay on schedule.  Don't do anything different then you would normally do on any other day when you don't see a provider.  If you lounge around and have a beer while watching the game when you get off then do the same thing if the SO is home after you sneak out to get some strange.  If you normally shower as soon as you get home then continue to do so (even if you took a shower before leaving your session).  
Rule #5:  No outcalls to you.  Goes without saying, under no circumstance should you attempt to host at your home.  Too much crap to worry about (panties/earrings.hair strands left behind, S/O side of the bed smells different, forgot to flush the condom, condom wrapper under the bed).
Rule #6:  Keep no evidence!  If you must pick up condoms either leave them with the provider or throw the rest away $6 on a new box is better than explaining why you have a pack of condoms with one or two missing.  
Rule #7:  Make a mental checklist.  Whether you use a hobby phone, phone number app, whatever.  Shut that crap off!  If you use your real phone number, delete everything that is not needed and store regulars under aliases.  A text from Pizza Hut is not going to sit well with the S/O should you and your ATF have liberal texting privileges, wink.
Rule #8: Keep the S/O happy.  She will notice if your libido takes a dip because your ATF is in town.  Refer to Rule 4) Stay on schedule.  If the S/O gets it 2 to 3 times a week and then suddenly you're no longer in the mood, she'll notice.  
Rule #9:  Protect yourselves.  Personal info outside of what is required to verify is a no-go.
Rule #10:  Deny, deny, deny!  Unless the S/O has you on film sucking and fucking with your Drivers license and a sign that says "I am so and so" then deny until the cows come home.  

I could go on and on, but the basic premise is don't be sloppy and don't do anything that brings attention to yourself.

-- Modified on 3/12/2017 10:22:11 PM

...well I'm only thinking there is a 30% chance she suspects.
Guys can you weigh in on when your wife found out you were seeing escorts? If that happened to you of course.
Or women (Turbay I saw your post), can you weigh in on when you found out your husband was seeing escorts.
For me there is an inherent lie in what I do. However, I have made it clear to her what I think of our current sex life and have offered suggestions to improve said life.
If she does find out, I give it 50% chance she throws me out and 50% chance we work out our issues and perhaps our relationship gets better.

It might prove useful for others if you can share some details and specifics.

In my case, it was when the stupid hotel sent a bill to my home (What stupid hotel does that anymore?)  Not only that, but it had all the phone numbers called from the room (This was pre-cell phone era.) and my wife called and spoke to the escort I saw.

She gave me a second chance which I blew within months.  That eventually led to the big D.

I believe no stupid hotel does this "anymore." However you are not talking about "anymore." You are talking about caveman days prior to cell phones. Obviously stupid hotels did do that way back then! :)

Posted By: mrfisher
It might prove useful for others if you can share some details and specifics.  
   
 In my case, it was when the stupid hotel sent a bill to my home (What stupid hotel does that anymore?)  Not only that, but it had all the phone numbers called from the room (This was pre-cell phone era.) and my wife called and spoke to the escort I saw.  
   
 She gave me a second chance which I blew within months.  That eventually led to the big D.

Not judging, but I wouldn't see an escort if I was married.  At any rate, you have to do what is best for you and you have to manage risk.  Does seeing an escort create a positive feeling -- a rush?  Or does it weigh on you mentally because you are concerned about what would happen if your wife found out?  Should you consider telling her before she finds out?  How would she react?  Would this tear your relationship apart or could it serve as a catalyst to strengthen communication and therefore the relationship?  In short, do the positives outweigh the negatives?

TopEntertainer474 reads

I suggest you try to delete any evidence. Don't let her find out don't think that because your sex life with her is not good she understands that you need it from somewhere else. Women are jealous and possessive. Just deny and get a different number for your fun.

Just my 2cents...

Not all women are jealous and possessive. I'm in a happy open relationship but most people (male and female equally) have said omg there's no way I could do that - don't you get jealous? It's just a matter of wanting your partner's needs met and understanding that there's nothing wrong with getting them from someone else. It doesn't mean being replaced. That's my 2 cents :)

It's funny how guys want us ladies to be discreet... but the uncomfortable situations I have encounter as an escort is when I get calls, emails and text from their WIFES because the gentleman were not discreet, or too stupid to cover their tracks!!

You guys don't want to give us information for us to feel safe... but you hide so much from us but not from your spouses. SHM!

Posted By: seanyoungwontlive
...well I'm only thinking there is a 30% chance she suspects.  
 Guys can you weigh in on when your wife found out you were seeing escorts? If that happened to you of course.  
 Or women (Turbay I saw your post), can you weigh in on when you found out your husband was seeing escorts.  
 For me there is an inherent lie in what I do. However, I have made it clear to her what I think of our current sex life and have offered suggestions to improve said life.  
 If she does find out, I give it 50% chance she throws me out and 50% chance we work out our issues and perhaps our relationship gets better.

wrps07532 reads

They include perfume and smoking. That is why most of the time I have to go swimming after seeing a provider.  

Sometimes is hard to contain the pleasure smiles after seeing a provider.  

Many women know their husbands are seeing providers and quietly say nothing.  They know when a providers does a no call no show or performance is bad the guy will always run back to the wife.

Posted By: wrps07
They include perfume and smoking. That is why most of the time I have to go swimming after seeing a provider.  
   
 Sometimes is hard to contain the pleasure smiles after seeing a provider.  
   
 Many women know their husbands are seeing providers and quietly say nothing.  They know when a providers does a no call no show or performance is bad the guy will always run back to the wife.

She was trying to pay me double not to see her husband.  As it turns out he never actually scheduled me.  She had found a piece of paper on his desk with a list of names and numbers of providers....It made me very angry that he didn't even bother to hide it very well.  She was nice but usually as they say hell hath no fury like a scorned woman.  I wouldn't be surprised if a knowing wife would try to set up her husband and the provider he is seeing in a police sting.

ValuedCustomer812 reads

do the following: Deny, Deny, Deny.

Never give in. Never. Never. Never.

It's one thing for her to STRONGLY suspect.... but you confirming it is the end.

But - I have never been there... so....

Shiksa466 reads

You will regret it and pay for it dearly for a verrry long time.  Ive heard first hand about my poor clients who have been caught and had to have their balls removed.  You have been warned!

Exactly what he said, I got caught when I installed google photo's in my comp, I had an external hard drive with hidden files of photos. Google photo's search my entire hard drive and when my SO used my comp to look for a photo she stumble on a selfie I had with kgirl with her breast uncovered. LOL to make it worst it had a date on it... I just denied everything and I told her that it was back in college and denied and played dumb why the date was recent. She bought it.

One is that you married your wife because she was really hot but not very smart, OR . . . .

She wants to PRETEND not to know so that she doesn't have to do anything about it.  Many of my hobby friends live in a "don't ask, don't tell"  relataionship with their wives.  Many wives who have a cushy life married to a successful man are not willing to throw it away, but feel if they are confronted face to face with the reality of what their husband is doing, they would HAVE to take a stand.  Pretending not to know is the most convenient way to deal with it.  

I agree that the only proper strategy is to DENY to the end if caught.

whenever you plan to visit a provider make sure you disable that sucker... Frequent locations logs the date, time, location and how long you stayed in that location.

...and there is no way she could figure out where to look for my location, plus I go a lot of places for work

....I think I have hid my tracks really well.
Maybe only 15% chance she suspects something...I will explain more later...but I just a little bit of side eye this morning - but it could have been any number of reasons like not finishing my honey do list lol

Now that my real name is out, some might remember that I approached my wife that she and I should go see a "sex therapist" She said no. I of course did not admit that I had already seen a few. (I had to get references right?) So anyway,  that's why I worry eventgough I cover my tracks well. I handle all the finances. I have encrypted and anonymous email and text. Password protection. Etc.
But the idea is out there. So does she think to herself "did he go see someone anyway without me?"

Dfusethesituation345 reads

Rule #1 Don't get caught!!!
Rule #2 Wash your ass!  I shower before, and after a session when I schedule to see a provider.  Makeup, lip gloss, body glitter, hair follicles, whatever the case may be is always naked to eye and shows up at the most inopportune time.
Rule #3: Plan accordingly.  God forbid an emergency occurs and your needed to pick the kid up from school but your in another city banging some hot escort out, shit happens but proper planning usually takes care of most situations.  
Rule #4:  Stay on schedule.  Don't do anything different then you would normally do on any other day when you don't see a provider.  If you lounge around and have a beer while watching the game when you get off then do the same thing if the SO is home after you sneak out to get some strange.  If you normally shower as soon as you get home then continue to do so (even if you took a shower before leaving your session).  
Rule #5:  No outcalls to you.  Goes without saying, under no circumstance should you attempt to host at your home.  Too much crap to worry about (panties/earrings.hair strands left behind, S/O side of the bed smells different, forgot to flush the condom, condom wrapper under the bed).
Rule #6:  Keep no evidence!  If you must pick up condoms either leave them with the provider or throw the rest away $6 on a new box is better than explaining why you have a pack of condoms with one or two missing.  
Rule #7:  Make a mental checklist.  Whether you use a hobby phone, phone number app, whatever.  Shut that crap off!  If you use your real phone number, delete everything that is not needed and store regulars under aliases.  A text from Pizza Hut is not going to sit well with the S/O should you and your ATF have liberal texting privileges, wink.
Rule #8: Keep the S/O happy.  She will notice if your libido takes a dip because your ATF is in town.  Refer to Rule 4) Stay on schedule.  If the S/O gets it 2 to 3 times a week and then suddenly you're no longer in the mood, she'll notice.  
Rule #9:  Protect yourselves.  Personal info outside of what is required to verify is a no-go.
Rule #10:  Deny, deny, deny!  Unless the S/O has you on film sucking and fucking with your Drivers license and a sign that says "I am so and so" then deny until the cows come home.  

I could go on and on, but the basic premise is don't be sloppy and don't do anything that brings attention to yourself.

-- Modified on 3/12/2017 10:22:11 PM

Women have this sense when something is going on,C'mon ladies you know it's true. I don't know what else to add by what's been mention. If she finds out, I mean really finds out and decides to stays to work it out, remember, women forgive, but don't forget...You'll get subtle jabs from her when she's pissed about your "Affairs". And if it gets bad, and you both want to make it work, you might end up doing the "Kobe" thing....But follow  what's been said and DON'T GET SLOPPY!!!!

souls_harbor295 reads

Spouses don't need proof.  Mere suspicion is enough to destroy a marriage.  But once they suspect, they are attuned to anything amiss.  Any they can start to lay traps.

Knows4fun340 reads

The marriage was over immediately. Trying to predict what you think she'll do, is a high stakes challenge

Posted By: LikeTearsInRain
...well I'm only thinking there is a 30% chance she suspects.  
 Guys can you weigh in on when your wife found out you were seeing escorts? If that happened to you of course.  
 Or women (Turbay I saw your post), can you weigh in on when you found out your husband was seeing escorts.  
 For me there is an inherent lie in what I do. However, I have made it clear to her what I think of our current sex life and have offered suggestions to improve said life.  
 If she does find out, I give it 50% chance she throws me out and 50% chance we work out our issues and perhaps our relationship gets better.

My ex-fiance didn't see an escort but he did step out and honestly, after the initial, "What in the hell? Why didn't you just ask?" wore off, I was ok. Then again, when both parties live on the opposite ends of the country and both parties have needs you can work it out. Moving forward, we were honest with one another about what we wanted, what we were doing and with whom. The only reason it didn't work out is because money changes people, and not always for the better.

-- Modified on 3/13/2017 12:38:18 PM

Do NOT leave your home because that may have legal  consequences depending on your state. See a divorce lawyer because if you "think" she knows .... she probably does.

If you think she knows then there is almost a 100% chance she does.

If she knows and has evidence you are probably toast.  If she "says" she wants to work it out, your life is going to be a living hell.  Every-time you screw up anything all that crap will keep coming up.

Probably an unpopular opinion here Rainman, but you said "If she does find out, I give it 50% chance she throws me out and **50% chance we work out our issues and perhaps our relationship gets better.**" (emphasis my own)

 

Now, I'm going to assume that you'd vastly prefer the latter, so why not do that now? It seems like you're willing, and she's likely more than 50% willing (being that she hasn't caught you, yet), why not get some help and make both your lives better?

 
Sounds like a slam dunk to me.

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