The way to be sure that your communications are actually welcomed rather than endured is to be sure you alternate initiating contact, and send no more than two unanswered messages.
If she likes talking to you, she will initiate contact if you have let her know you are open to it. It's also not a bad idea to let her know this in advance. Telling her something like "I really enjoy chatting with you as friends, but I know you are most likely very busy and I don't want to be bugging you when you don't have the time to chat. So please, feel free to contact me any time you want because I don't want to be bugging when you are busy" If you are really friends with a gal, she will most likely send you a message such as "Where are you? I haven't heard from you in over two days. call me" lol
A couple of months ago I have met with a new client that was also new to the hobby and me, as the nice woman I am, I have schooled him a bit about the hobby's do's and dont's. For example his continuous texts and random phone calls.... I understood the guy was very lonely and liked me a lot. In fact the first time he saw me 3 nights in a row 2hrs each time! Was pretty good for me and for him too since he never felt what I gave him but gosh the man fell in love! He came back to see me the week after and the following one.... he started with saying he was in love with me and he would have even married me !!!! He started saying he didn't want me to see other clients.... I had to stop him there and say that this was my job and I can't stop seeing anyone because he is jealous! After all he is not my man nor I want him as a man...duh! Long story short the guy probably thought that I liked him more than just a client and this guy was supposed to see me for an overnight and when he show up he sat down and i offer him some wine, he took it and said that he forgot his money at home! I am like WTH!!!! He asked me if he could stay over anyway.... Hell NO! You are not my man. So I have been telling him that in order to see me again he has to make up for the waste of time he gave me. I am really pissed because I think I have been too good to him and he thought he could be my bf. The man ultimately want a wife, I know that. So I haven't seen him since then and he has been promising to bring me the money but never happened. Told him Im done with him.
So, any ladies have had this kind of client?
Gentlemen, as a guy what do you think?
Thanks for reading.
If you're smart you will take your losses and cut off all contact with him. I hope you did not see him at your home.
Do you still have “Hope”
Yesterday I had a Deli sandwich……Was in Utopia.
-- Modified on 3/9/2017 12:12:36 AM
We're here to fill a void. We have needs, whether it's money or companionship or a million things in between. Men fall in what pases in their minds for love, because going through life alone, with no one who cares about you deeply, is not for everyone. And for those, a woman who give you what you've traditionally believed came with the 'love package' seems only logical and the transactional nature of the relationship is lost.
Similarly, I've been involved with providers who think that just because I pay for their company, I should also pay for their rent when they're short, their air conditioner when it breaks, and those shoes with the red bottoms when it will make them happy (I think it makes the guy who's selling those shoes a lot happier lol)
So, what do I think. We have a lot of needy people here. That's not meant to be judgmental - my life has turned around by having my needs met here, too. But I think that needy people need to maintain their dignity while being introduced to reality... gently but firmly. It won't be easy to explain the facts of life in this world to him, but you're elected. I started trying to help a provider pay for what she couldn't and it started getting out of control and I had to do the same thing.
I think the most important thing is to remember we're all in the same club. We're crossing a lot of lines - legal and personal - together to take care of our needs while taking care of the needs of others. But in this often mildly dishonest world we call the hobby we need to be gently honest with each other when it looks like one of our members needs to understand that while we're all in the same club, it's not a club that deals in relationships in the traditional sense, as our 'engagements' are generally limited to an hour or two at a time.
-- Modified on 3/8/2017 5:58:24 PM
Similarly, I've been involved with providers who think that just because I pay for their company, I should also pay for their rent when they're short, their air conditioner when it breaks, and those shoes with the red bottoms when it will make them happy (I think it makes the guy who's selling those shoes a lot happier lol)
So, what do I think. We have a lot of needy people here. That's not meant to be judgmental - my life has turned around by having my needs met here, too. But I think that needy people need to maintain their dignity while being introduced to reality... gently but firmly. It won't be easy to explain the facts of life in this world to him, but you're elected. I started trying to help a provider pay for what she couldn't and it started getting out of control and I had to do the same thing.
I think the most important thing is to remember we're all in the same club. We're crossing a lot of lines - legal and personal - together to take care of our needs while taking care of the needs of others. But in this often mildly dishonest world we call the hobby we need to be gently honest with each other when it looks like one of our members needs to understand that while we're all in the same club, it's not a club that deals in relationships in the traditional sense, as our 'engagements' are generally limited to an hour or two at a time.
-- Modified on 3/8/2017 5:58:24 PM
Similarly, I've been involved with providers who think that just because I pay for their company, I should also pay for their rent when they're short, their air conditioner when it breaks, and those shoes with the red bottoms when it will make them happy (I think it makes the guy who's selling those shoes a lot happier lol)
So, what do I think. We have a lot of needy people here. That's not meant to be judgmental - my life has turned around by having my needs met here, too. But I think that needy people need to maintain their dignity while being introduced to reality... gently but firmly. It won't be easy to explain the facts of life in this world to him, but you're elected. I started trying to help a provider pay for what she couldn't and it started getting out of control and I had to do the same thing.
I think the most important thing is to remember we're all in the same club. We're crossing a lot of lines - legal and personal - together to take care of our needs while taking care of the needs of others. But in this often mildly dishonest world we call the hobby we need to be gently honest with each other when it looks like one of our members needs to understand that while we're all in the same club, it's not a club that deals in relationships in the traditional sense, as our 'engagements' are generally limited to an hour or two at a time.
-- Modified on 3/8/2017 5:58:24 PM
When you have feelings for someone you want to take BETTER care of them. Give them MORE.
He showed up at her house for an overnight with no money? That isn't having extra feeling and wanting more, to me that looks like wanting the same and not being able to afford it. Trying to guilt her into it.
I understand what you're talking about, but I don't think that's where this guy is coming from.
Negotiate an exclusive engagement. Many providers would love to have just one rich client and not have to fuck 20 guys a week. You should have told him you would be happy to have only him as a client, but the exclusive engagement will run him $XXXX per week. Then you haven't turned him down or hurt his feelings, you have put the decision back on him. Either he pays or he doesn't.
That is exactly what I was thinking too.
which I feel is the case.
Salmon and a 200 pound tuna jumped into your boat, you would throw it back because you were really only interested in salmon?
She's in a revenue generation business. If she makes the ioffer for exclusivity, he can either afford her or he can't. If he can't she's off the hook. If he can, her ship just came in. It's a win-win for her.
she can quote a price she's sure he'd never pay.
in accordance with how disagreeable she finds him, but I don't think that's the case because of how many sessions she has allowed already.
I did tell him that and he is been saying that in the case why not be in a relationship. I honestly don't believe that I can afford me. He is supposed to make up to me and it has been 4 weeks that he has been saying lies. First he has the money, then he doesn't have it. Then he said he was hesitant because he thought I didn't need it. A bunch of lies... I told him that regardless if I need the money or not if he wants to see me again he needs to make up for the times he has cancelled and showed up at my place empty handed. He just has a bunch of excuses. I think its best to just block him. I told him he is to cut for this but he needs to find himself a woman the traditional way.
I've tried my best see this for what it is, A fantasy nothing more. I know in the past I've been guilty of over doing it with emails and pm's and I apologize to any ladies I might've annoyed.
The way to be sure that your communications are actually welcomed rather than endured is to be sure you alternate initiating contact, and send no more than two unanswered messages.
If she likes talking to you, she will initiate contact if you have let her know you are open to it. It's also not a bad idea to let her know this in advance. Telling her something like "I really enjoy chatting with you as friends, but I know you are most likely very busy and I don't want to be bugging you when you don't have the time to chat. So please, feel free to contact me any time you want because I don't want to be bugging when you are busy"
If you are really friends with a gal, she will most likely send you a message such as "Where are you? I haven't heard from you in over two days. call me" lol
Now, I'm super leery of them. I was involved with a provider and it started out like this. Once through that churn was enough to dissuade me from allowing it again. They want to contact me letting me know they're available is one thing, but that's all I'm willing to entertain. Lesson learned.
as it's a rare day that I am not in communication with at least one of my hooker buddies.
I have also been involved with a few over the years, hooker GF's have a certain set of challenges, but I have had less drama with hooker GF's than most other GF's I have had in my life.
To say that she didn't turn out to be shady as fuck would be an understatement. I wasted the one thing that I will never get back - my time.
When I became single I swore off of ever getting emotionally attached to anyone. I also said I would never ever entertain the thought of marriage or having more children. Then she happened along. I won't get into it, but then when things weren't sitting right I found out the truth. Then I found out even more. All I can say when life catches.up to her, it's gonna be ugly.and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Those silver braclets are not going to look or feel very nice.
He's a lost puppy who needs to be brought in to the local pound. The best thing you can do is cease all contact with him and never see him again. His elusion of you being his GF can only end badly for you since you were up front with him and he can't respect your feelings. Do you live in the same town as him? Did you give out any personal info, I hope not for your sake.
So, any ladies have had this kind of client?
Gentlemen, as a guy what do you think?
Thanks for reading.
that most providers cut off communication with a client as soon as they get a whiff of a growing attachment.
[lol on my last date I was giving a massage and said "I have fallen in love....." (I felt her stiffen under my hands)..."with your butt!" (there was no pause when I said it - I just said it slowly and could tell it was awkward)
We both laughed and laughed.]
I'm not making fun of your predicament, but yeah you let it go on way too long.
Unless you wanted a significant other, but I think that it is very rare to find that wonderful person that is not jealous and wants to be with a provider.
...It would have been easier for him accept. The longer you let it go on the more attached he became. Let's face it, most guys don't have much emotional intelligence and it was clear from what you described that he didn't understand the boundaries of this playground.
I think you are going to be surprised just how often this happens.
Do a message search under something like "I have fallen for a hooker" and you are likely to find several dozen threads and hundreds of posts on the subject.
Too funny, one of my favorite hooker GF's started out the same way, I saw her first on a Sunday night, met for lunch the next day, saw her two to three times again over the next several days and then she was the one who said "I don't want your money any more" and we quickly became BF/GF. Unfortunately a LOT of guys think this is happening to them when in fact it's only in their imagination.
Now for some hopefully helpful advice. Forget about the money he owes you. Write it and him off for good. He has no respect for your boundaries, he never will and if you allow him to remain in your life in any form you risk him doing you serious harm someday, or at the very least becoming a dangerous stalker. You need to stop this NOW, before it gets worse. Cut him out of your life completely, no calls, no texts, no emails, no smoke signals. NOTHING. Stick to your guns and be done with him.
Now for some hopefully helpful advice. Forget about the money he owes you. Write it and him off for good. He has no respect for your boundaries, he never will and if you allow him to remain in your life in any form you risk him doing you serious harm someday, or at the very least becoming a dangerous stalker. You need to stop this NOW, before it gets worse. Cut him out of your life completely, no calls, no texts, no emails, no smoke signals. NOTHING. Stick to your guns and be done with him.
I just stop seeing them because once they get to that point, IMO, they won't ever go back. They will keep thinking they can change your mind if they keep seeing you. At least none of mine were dirty enough to pull what that guy did to you!
You already had told him and he still booked an overnight and didn't bring the rate. Just wow. Cut him off, he obviously doesn't understand no.
It's one thing if they want to hang out as friends here and there, it's quite another when they decide that you must quit and marry them.
Helpful advice: although you can't control what another feels, you can control the boundaries you allow them to cross. There is a chance you may have given a little too much or gave off the wrong signal. Sometimes it is just them, but most of the time it is because we didn't put boundaries down. Once I figured that out, I haven't had too many problems since. Some just won't listen no matter what you say or do.
So, any ladies have had this kind of client?
Gentlemen, as a guy what do you think?
Thanks for reading.
This type of situation is more common than we imagine. Make sure to stablished boundaries, always see him on an incall and never never at your home.
He can be a good client ($$$) and you will have an steady income. You have to be clear with him that he doesn't have the right to ask you to stop working. Maybe the two of you can work an arrangement that works for both of you were he has his needs taken care of and yours as well.
If he becomes obsessed and you don't feel safe working bc he would throw a fit.. cut the communication ASAP.
He was already asking me how much I make a month, how much my expenses are.... he even said why I don't get another job since I have 2 degrees. Im like "yo" I don't need a dad!
Earth angel, earth angel
Will you be mine
My darling dear
Love me all the time
OP knew this guy was a newbie
OP knew this guy was NOT understanding the "protocol"
OP "played" this guy by letting him believe his "dream"
OP got what she diserved by getting "stiffed"
There's a line in this business, but it's easy enough to get it blurred, and if you're not careful, erased. I haven't had a similar situation with a provider, but I have become friendly and even lent money to providers at times. Nothing good comes from mixing the two together. If you want to spend time together, lend money, or whatever, it needs to be separate from the hobby, because it builds resentment eventually almost 100% of the time. And that's the least of it...if things get really carried away, there's nothing stopping someone from causing you real problems. I would definitely drop this guy as a client and chalk it up to a lesson learned. Even if he said he had the money and wanted to meet up, I'd just forget it. People can have personal relationships with people they meet in the hobby, but it's many times more difficult than ordinary relationships, and those are complicated enough already. Be safe, and be smart with whatever you decide.
Best to cease all contact and write off the money he owes you. Consider it paying him to go away. You don't know what other issues this guy might have and what might set him off even more.
As they say, shit happens. In this hobby, that shit happens a lot. It can be a tough lesson to learn, that you can have, but you can't keep. I'm sure it happens to newbies all the time. It happened to me. Quite frankly, I don't see how anyone can be intimate with the same person multiple times and not feel something. I've long ago come to terms with the fact that this is certainly how I'm wired, whether I like it or not, and the best way to avoid the emotional side effects of an otherwise very enjoyable hobby is to not see the same gal twice. Otherwise, you'll pay the price. A little self-awareness goes a long way. It doesn't take an Einstein to figure out it's rude to screw with a lady's source of income. Just imagine if one of your clients in your straight job demanded that you do your work for free.
clueless regarding the candy store effect that he fell hook, line, and sinker over you. Hobbyists need to realize that P4P is not RL. Providers and hobbyists alike are responsible for drawing the line and staying on their side of the line.
If anyone wants more info, just search "falling for a provider."
One evening I got an email from an atf. Mind you the sex was fantastic, and the connection strong. I'd seen her a few times, and obviously I was going to see her many more times. In the email she told me how she'd planned out our lives together. Yes, it can happen both ways. In a very polite way I asked how it was that she knew me well enough to make such a statement. I never made another appointment.
With all due respect to the ones who've been successful, escort and client should not enter into a regular relationship. In my eyes, what escort in the world would trust me, when I don't even trust myself. The other issue, and I've said this many times before. Most ladies and gentlemen are on their best behavior during the session giving each other a false sense of a perfect relationship. Wouldn't that be wonderful if that could translate into real life? While hobby sessions can be perfect, no relationship in life ever is. But thank you so much to all the ladies who work hard at giving us guys that peaceful hour of perfection. It is so needed. Even though I don't want to marry you, I love all of you.
I will agree that it's impossible (or at least should be) for someone to trust you when you can't even trust yourself, but that certainly doesn't apply to everyone.
Now if you are saying "most" guys have unrealistic expectations after PAYING a woman to be on her best behavior and to do everything that turns him on with no demands on him other than to leave money., Yes I will agree with that sentiment, but once again, not all of us think that way.
Lastly, why does any relationship have to end in marriage? I shudder at just hearing the word. lol
level. Depending how crazy he is, he may take it up to the next level.