TER General Board

Don't overthink
AlexandraMilw See my TER Reviews 661 reads
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She may have just been making conversation and perhaps thinking of new places to try. I have done this myself. Although I won't specifically ask what he is doing after. I may just ask if he  is going back to work or doing anything interesting the rest of the night. Just harmless talk. If I specifically ask what you are doing afterwords, then it may be something more.

Did she ask at the very end or when you had time left? Was she nicely finding a way to get you going out the door?  

No harm in asking to see "if" she was angling for a dinner with you. She might have been. She might have not. She may have been trying to get you moving out the door. Mind as well ask and find out, right?

I would figure if you were out of town, she was either trying to get you out the door or asking if you wanted to go eat. Although why she'd ask where you ate, being an out of towner, seems a little odd.
Posted By: Michelobe01
Odd question here, and know I will get hammered for asking. I was recently out of town, and saw a provider. She was asking about where I had eaten recently, and where was I going that night, so I told her. Then she said that now I had made her hungry, and she was going to have to stop and get something on the way home. Realized later that she may have been angling for an invite. No illusions here, not falling for a provider. Just wonder if I was rude by not asking. Eating dinner with a pretty lady is better than eating alone. So what do you guys and ladies think? How do providers broach the subject of OTC time like that?

Odd question here, and know I will get hammered for asking. I was recently out of town, and saw a provider. She was asking about where I had eaten recently, and where was I going that night, so I told her. Then she said that now I had made her hungry, and she was going to have to stop and get something on the way home. Realized later that she may have been angling for an invite. No illusions here, not falling for a provider. Just wonder if I was rude by not asking. Eating dinner with a pretty lady is better than eating alone. So what do you guys and ladies think? How do providers broach the subject of OTC time like that?

... You were planning on eating alone. A pretty lady mentioned she was hungry and was going to stop on the way home to eat. And you didn't ask her if she'd like company over dinner.  Right?

I would suggest that you should have your head examined. But that would be rude of me.  

I was on the train to Brussels on the way to the airport when I was 18 and was talking to a cute local girl - red head.
I was pretty sure I was going to miss my flight.
I don't remember if she offered to show me around town or if I just got that impression.
Anyway, I still not regret paying the extra money to change my flight anyway and hanging out with the cute red head girl.

You just didn't connect the dots at that time, don't worry about it. But next time if you feel she's hinting, then just ask her if she wants to grab a bite to eat. While in Vegas I do it all the time. and most girls take me up on it. Sometimes if it's really late, then we'll grab a bite to eat. And sometimes we'll do some late night gambling, then we'll grab a bite. So don't worry, just keep your wits at that time.

She may have just been making conversation and perhaps thinking of new places to try. I have done this myself. Although I won't specifically ask what he is doing after. I may just ask if he  is going back to work or doing anything interesting the rest of the night. Just harmless talk. If I specifically ask what you are doing afterwords, then it may be something more.

Did she ask at the very end or when you had time left? Was she nicely finding a way to get you going out the door?  

No harm in asking to see "if" she was angling for a dinner with you. She might have been. She might have not. She may have been trying to get you moving out the door. Mind as well ask and find out, right?

I would figure if you were out of town, she was either trying to get you out the door or asking if you wanted to go eat. Although why she'd ask where you ate, being an out of towner, seems a little odd.

Posted By: Michelobe01
Odd question here, and know I will get hammered for asking. I was recently out of town, and saw a provider. She was asking about where I had eaten recently, and where was I going that night, so I told her. Then she said that now I had made her hungry, and she was going to have to stop and get something on the way home. Realized later that she may have been angling for an invite. No illusions here, not falling for a provider. Just wonder if I was rude by not asking. Eating dinner with a pretty lady is better than eating alone. So what do you guys and ladies think? How do providers broach the subject of OTC time like that?

ROGM631 reads

After playing with my current provider I've taken her out to dinner on occasion. I love spending non playtime with her.

Posted By: Michelobe01
Odd question here, and know I will get hammered for asking. I was recently out of town, and saw a provider. She was asking about where I had eaten recently, and where was I going that night, so I told her. Then she said that now I had made her hungry, and she was going to have to stop and get something on the way home. Realized later that she may have been angling for an invite. No illusions here, not falling for a provider. Just wonder if I was rude by not asking. Eating dinner with a pretty lady is better than eating alone. So what do you guys and ladies think? How do providers broach the subject of OTC time like that?
All your blood had rushed to your 'Little Head' and you weren't thinking clearly. ;)

Dozens of providers, that is about as plain as it gets. I am often asked after a session if I have already had lunch or dinner. It doesn't get any more direct than that. Standard response is, "let's go get something to eat."  9 times out of 10 they will go OTC.

If I want to I just say "I will not pay you to have something to eat with me, but I will be happy to buy you dinner".  A lot of ladies have taken me up on the offer and then we have had a pleasant meal with some good conversation.  And it has been my experience that for the second meal most ladies will offer to buy.  And hey I'm a modern guy, I let them.   bigdell

but I personally would be offended if you said that to me and would take back the invitation. That would make me feel like a hooker versus a real human being. I would think others would be be offended too.

If I am asking to go grab dinner with you, I am asking just that. I am not asking you to pay for my time to eat as well. In fact, I am the one suggesting it.  

Some may be trying to get extra money out of you, but that wouldn't be my angle. If there is confusion on what type she is, just say "I will be happy to buy you dinner" or something similar.

Posted By: bigdell
If I want to I just say "I will not pay you to have something to eat with me, but I will be happy to buy you dinner".  A lot of ladies have taken me up on the offer and then we have had a pleasant meal with some good conversation.  And it has been my experience that for the second meal most ladies will offer to buy.  And hey I'm a modern guy, I let them.   bigdell

In my 40+ years of hobbying, if the lady is mad at you, the session is never good.  

It's also been my experience that if the gentleman brings up the idea of otc, the lady gets mad.  

Also, when it comes to otc, the ladies never angle. They will ask flat out if you can join them for lunch, extra lovemaking, extra conversation, or if you can spend the night. Therefore, my thought is that she was making idle conversation.

I have asked guys while on my date what they were doing after our appt.Some might mention a work event they have to attend or they are going out to dinner/lunch.I will ask what restaurant they are going to not because I want an invite but I always like to hear about new restaurants or a fav restaurant that visitors eat at when coming to town.
At times I have had a gent ask me if I am hungry after our appt and if I am and have nowhere else to go sure why not but that is just me.Every lady is different.If she really wanted to go I am sure she would have said something like you mind some company?

...I have already had two women say they wanted to meet up off the clock in a non-sex outing.
Neither came to fruition so I am sure it was just chit chat in those cases.

Next time you will be able to do what the above response said - just ask "hey you want to go get some food?"
That's what I'm gonna do :)

thanks for the input people.. looking back, (and for future reference) was probably missing the hint. Was my room, in a section of town she wasn't familiar with, so should asked if she wanted to join me. And she had already taken the blood out of the little head, so it wasn't that... As long it wouldn't be a serious breach of protocol in that situation to have offered, I can live and learn....

Nothing is more of a boner killer for me than when clients think I'm angling but I'm just making conversation.
I'm really not into that dance. The whole overthinking, answering questions that weren't asked, etc. Blegh.
She could have just been genuinely asking.

i see a lot of out of town guests, and will often ask what their plans are for dinner...it really is just making conversation and because Im open to offering ideas of places to eat and things to do while here.  Not because I am hoping they will invite me...it really is only for the purpose of being friendly and sharing some intel to make sure they enjoy every aspect of their visit to my city.

I wouldnt want a guy to get disappointed thinking I wanted to see him off the clock. Good question and topic...never crossed my mind how that would come off...so I'll be mindful how I bring it up to make sure there aren't any misunderstandings.

It just so happened, there was someone there recording it for posterity.

Take a look:

ROGM370 reads

I ask just as a kind gesture just to be friendly. This way she will remember me the next time I see her. If she declines dinner with me, no harm no foul. Sometimes my current provider will ask me if I want to have dinner with her. (non playtime) Am I going to tell her no? Heck no. I'll go pick her up and she selects the restaurant. Of course I pay for the entire dinner.  

Posted By: Michelobe01
Odd question here, and know I will get hammered for asking. I was recently out of town, and saw a provider. She was asking about where I had eaten recently, and where was I going that night, so I told her. Then she said that now I had made her hungry, and she was going to have to stop and get something on the way home. Realized later that she may have been angling for an invite. No illusions here, not falling for a provider. Just wonder if I was rude by not asking. Eating dinner with a pretty lady is better than eating alone. So what do you guys and ladies think? How do providers broach the subject of OTC time like that?

If my session with a particular client is fun filled & there's chemistry, I've gone out to dine with them OTC ... Why not, we are all humans, not everything is about money in those situations.. But there are those who take advantage of the situation & those are the ones I charge $$ for every minute they want to hang.... I've had a client who has taken advantage of my "Non clock watching" niceness. It's not cute & it's very annoying!!!  

You should of offered to take her out to dinner!!!  

Happy weekend everyone!!!  
Xoxo
Gem

that she wanted OTC time. It means she's hungry and wanted to extend the date by having you take her out. Though I wouldn't assume it was off the clock. Maybe I'm thinking too much as a provider/business woman but i would ask if she wanted to have that dinner date you never got to do together and if it's OTC or not. If it's OTC you're one lucky guy, enjoy!

ROGM340 reads

What's the difference? When I see my current provider the line between OTC and no OTC tends to get blurry. After we play we just hang out at the motel and talk. Well she does most of the talking and I just listen. Seems like she just wants someone to talk to. She's never in a rush to leave after we're done playing. Sometimes she asks me if I can take her to dinner. She's a sweet girl just trying to make some money to pay bills and maybe have someone to talk to.  

There's no harm in asking if she would like to have dinner off the clock.

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