Musicians, doctors, gardeners, plumbers, and others do this all the time. The key is that even if you have an unforeseen problem you can still try to fulfill the client's needs. This week, one of my staff had to cancel travelling to a client location for a critical meeting. I stepped in a covered the meeting for him and the client is happy.
Why can't providers try to do this as well? If you had a friendship, partnership or even just a loose association with other providers why not contact one of them to see if they can cover for you? Let the client know that you can't meet BUT you found someone who will stand in for the same service at the same price. That could go a long way to keeping your client from flaming you on TER or other boards and could mean he will try to reschedule again in the future.
Ok, yes there is some risk that he will prefer the other provider more. But that risk is lower than the risk getting a bad reputation. In the business world, covering for a colleague is called professional courtesy, and it's understood that it's reciprocal and that you won't try to "poach" your colleagues clients.
I was supposed to meet with a very well-reviewed provider last night. Our date was set up over a week in advance. I went through her screening process, providing all the information she requested and following her guidelines to the letter. I was completely polite, gracious, and respectful throughout the process. Twice, in fact, I even agreed to change the day of our appointment to accommodate her schedule. This probably should have been a red flag, but I was excited to see her. Besides, her reviews on TER are so overwhelmingly positive that I was convinced she was on the level.
Just two hours before we were supposed to meet, I received an email (all of her communication is done through email) in which she said she was sorry that she couldn't meet me this week. That was it. No real explanation or offer to reschedule, despite the fact that our date had been set up so far in advance. Obviously life can be unpredictable and it's entirely possible she had a perfectly valid reason for cancelling. Yet it seems very likely that I was being strung along the whole time; she probably had other things set up and was simply using me as a back-up.
I'm not going to out the girl. I just needed to vent my frustration and disappointment over what happened, or more accurately, didn't happen. What do you guys think? Was I treated unfairly or is this just part of the business?
You are entitled to feel your feelings. Some providers are flakes and completely unorganized. Move on. She's already flaked on you more than once.
This is a leisure activity - feeling wronged is not a good attitude to hold on to. Move on. You don't have a right to service - she doesn't have a right to patronage. Really - we need to reserve being wronged for real problems -- like getting cut off on the freeway.
-- Modified on 2/17/2017 9:53:54 AM
Of course you guys are right. There's nothing else to do but forget it and move on. Just needed to vent a bit.
...And didn't pull a NCNS, which is what the bottom feeders do.
The bottom line is that for every thoughtful, considerate, and professional provider out there, sadly there are 10x as many flakey and inconsiderate ones. It's the nature of the beast.
Fair enough. I thought 4 pages of glowing reviews ensured I wasn't dealing with one of the flakes. Thanks for the insight.
In any case, no matter how often she flakes out, those people can't review her because there was no meeting so you can't always go by that for reliability. Only tells you that she's good once you're in the room with her.
Don't take it personal, find another.
When I was booking Hookers to feed my addiction I found quite the opposite.
Maybe one out of twenty was flakey but still performance oriented.
I had a total of two I would consider inconsiderate, Grade A reviewed at the time.
Both had subtle warnings in their reviews.
My Bad for believing I could tame those Beasts.
One was a no show, my first and only experience with that.
The other thought the World revolved around her.
I let her know I disagreed with her point of view and walked out on her naked dumb ass.
She'd likely claim I was inconsiderate for not tolerating her insolent nature.
I booked two Gals who claimed they were totally BI.
When we met they concentrated all their attention on me, regardless how many times I asked one or the other, give me a break and go down on her.
I thought that was false advertising on their part but not inconsiderate.
Now I'm wondering if really BI is not what it means with ten out of eleven ?
The bottom line is that for every thoughtful, considerate, and professional provider out there, sadly there are 10x as many flakey and inconsiderate ones. It's the nature of the beast.
Maybe 10x was a stretch, but for sure there are plenty of flaky escorts. And when you go beyond these TER borders and include the women who advertise on other (more questionable sites), the number of flakes will increase exponentially. So yeah - there are sadly plenty of them out there just waiting to fuck up a monger's day 
"Now I'm wondering if really BI is not what it means with ten out of eleven ?"
Oh don't even get me started on that one! I would propose that it's probably closer to 50% - 60% that advertise as "really bi" and are full of shit. By listing it here on their profile it enables them to earn an extra point on a review. I have called out quite a few so-called bi escorts who were gay-for-pay at best, and almost homophobic at worst. That's why I don't pay much attention to a providers "really bi" listing here since it's not very credible.
In her defense, she did at least tell you she couldn't make and didn't pull a NCNS, no THAT would have been worth outing her for, but a short notice cancellation, while annoying, could be explained by a thousand valid reasons. It's quite possible that an emergency came up 2 hours and one minute before your scheduled appointment and she only had a moment to send you a brief email before attending to her emergency. THAT is the only thing one person owes to another is the common courtesy to at least not leave you hanging.
Personally, I would just move on and forget about it and her, unless and until she reaches out to you with a valid excuse and an apology, and then you can decide at that point if she is worth taking another chance on. If you never hear from her again, no big loss.
Just my speculation, she must have found a redflag about you, with your reviews or references. Like your post is an alias, its hard to determine which story is believable if it's one sided and btw you have to realize that ladies runs their own businesses and at the end of the day, she has the right to refuse her services to anyone, she can come up without any excuses or all kinds of magical creatures and nothing you can do about it. It's her own business her success and failures is it's up to her...like most everyone's responds, move on.....
...that has a section labeled "Rob's, Ripoff's and NCNS". It works very well for that board because it is a pretty small community and there isn't too much real drama there. Something like that would be a perfect place for us all to "out" those who pull shit (both providers & mongers) since we can't review someone here if they are a no-show.
In fact they also have a "Flame Wars" section over there too for those threads that get a bit too visceral.
I wonder if TER ever considered something like that here?
That's interesting, but I can't say that i was ripped off or ditched without notice. And I certainly dont want to have a Flame War with anybody. I was just letting off some steam after a disappointing night
But don't get too upset, all kinds of stuff could've happened. Maybe she got busted. Maybe she found out she was pregnant and wanted to end it but had to fly out of state to do so. Maybe there was a death in the family. The brevity of the email suggests it was more than something like her manicurist appointment got shoved back. Let it go.
I've always enjoyed your posts -- but this one goes straight to the Hall of Fame. Bravo.
.... It just goes to show you don't ever know. That's the attitude I bring to every encounter.
request from a well know gentleman last nite (very late at night) it was obvious that he got stood up by someone else and then... he sent me the request as a last minute choice. I politely declined. I like to be a first choice not a second or third or.... I never see anyone on a last minute request. I like when someone take the time to book with me because he is actually interested in seeing me, not because he didn't have another option.
Good luck to him in the future... I wont be seeing him. Specially when he has never taken the time to book with me, but we exchange messages and usually those are again; last minute request.
Not too much of appreciation right there.
V~
Just two hours before we were supposed to meet, I received an email (all of her communication is done through email) in which she said she was sorry that she couldn't meet me this week. That was it. No real explanation or offer to reschedule, despite the fact that our date had been set up so far in advance. Obviously life can be unpredictable and it's entirely possible she had a perfectly valid reason for cancelling. Yet it seems very likely that I was being strung along the whole time; she probably had other things set up and was simply using me as a back-up.
I'm not going to out the girl. I just needed to vent my frustration and disappointment over what happened, or more accurately, didn't happen. What do you guys think? Was I treated unfairly or is this just part of the business?
I do last minute requests all the time as I really can't plan things in advance as my business schedule is too unpredictable. Rather than being "that guy" the one who constantly books appointments that he has to cancel, I prefer to simply take my chances on who is available on short notice.
and honestly, this is a business, do your feelings really get so hurt about being someone's "second choice" that you would turn down the money? If someone want to pay me for my services I really couldn't care less if I were his first or fifteenth choice to do business with.
right, from the business perspective no.
I am saying about that specific person that always contact me every time he gets stood up. lol.. he's reading me right here.
and honestly, this is a business, do your feelings really get so hurt about being someone's "second choice" that you would turn down the money? If someone want to pay me for my services I really couldn't care less if I were his first or fifteenth choice to do business with.
It's amazing how some of these situations have turned out well for me and my customers. Granted I don't get calls late at night and I'm not a provider. Everyone is entitled to run their business the way they want to and can continue not wanting to be a second choice, but I'll continue to bail my customers out.
In many businesses it is not uncommon to send a substitute service provider when the person "hired" is not available.
Musicians, doctors, gardeners, plumbers, and others do this all the time. The key is that even if you have an unforeseen problem you can still try to fulfill the client's needs. This week, one of my staff had to cancel travelling to a client location for a critical meeting. I stepped in a covered the meeting for him and the client is happy.
Why can't providers try to do this as well? If you had a friendship, partnership or even just a loose association with other providers why not contact one of them to see if they can cover for you? Let the client know that you can't meet BUT you found someone who will stand in for the same service at the same price. That could go a long way to keeping your client from flaming you on TER or other boards and could mean he will try to reschedule again in the future.
Ok, yes there is some risk that he will prefer the other provider more. But that risk is lower than the risk getting a bad reputation. In the business world, covering for a colleague is called professional courtesy, and it's understood that it's reciprocal and that you won't try to "poach" your colleagues clients.
Musicians, doctors, gardeners, plumbers, and others do this all the time. The key is that even if you have an unforeseen problem you can still try to fulfill the client's needs. This week, one of my staff had to cancel travelling to a client location for a critical meeting. I stepped in a covered the meeting for him and the client is happy.
Why can't providers try to do this as well? If you had a friendship, partnership or even just a loose association with other providers why not contact one of them to see if they can cover for you? Let the client know that you can't meet BUT you found someone who will stand in for the same service at the same price. That could go a long way to keeping your client from flaming you on TER or other boards and could mean he will try to reschedule again in the future.
Ok, yes there is some risk that he will prefer the other provider more. But that risk is lower than the risk getting a bad reputation. In the business world, covering for a colleague is called professional courtesy, and it's understood that it's reciprocal and that you won't try to "poach" your colleagues clients.
You're wrong to feel right.
it's a common occurrence with hookers of all price ranges and regardless of review accolades. This board is proof of that.
As you said, there was a red flag and you ignored it.
it's just part of life and the nature of this world.
Venting some disappointment is fine, but I sure would not look for justification in feeling wronged. As others have said, you got a cancellation notice; however brief it is a courtesy and more than many receive.
As for the gal... I would certainly not pursue her further absent some additional communication from her - something that may or may not happen in the course of time. Fortunately, there are plenty of wonderful women in this world and you can choose to move on.
A similar story of my own:
There was a lady in Baltimore I very much wanted to meet. Apparently, so did everyone else because it took a week or so of back and forth to find a schedule match and commit to a date. The morning of the date (yes, about two hours before) I received a cancellation email. Like you, I posted a rant/vent here and got essentially the same advice you are getting.
I determined not to rub salt in my own wounds by feeling wronged, and simply moved on.
A year or so later she PM'd me about one of my posts, and we struck up a conversation (she did not remember me or cancelling on me); soon we were scheduled to meet and wound up having a few very nice dates.
By your post. Because I do want to know if reviews are inaccurate. A provider with stellar reviews but who can be this unprofessional is someone I want to be warned about.
So if this is someone who is in or visits the San Francisco bay area, please post on that regional board so that we know. Thank you
Avoiding NCNS is worth something. In general if gals aren't easily available, even if it is just a mutual scheduling conflict, it's best to move on. As for giving reasons and excuses, you never know if they are true or not. So no point in worrying about it. The best thing she could do would be to express apologies. Doesn't matter if they are not heartfelt, it just is good business and shows attention to good business practices. Only then would I consider seeing her at some future opportunity.
The question we need to ask in many situations is 'how many strikes does someone get'
Depends on the person, the relationship, the circumstances... but once you decide how many strikes that person gets before you call them out, stick to it. Thus, how many strikes does this particular woman get in your world. If she's gone beyond then move on. If not, try try again.
On the first date with the guy, he insulted my body.
Two nights prior, a family member passed away. He asked me not to contact him until the morning of. I also found out he lied on his screening, by telling me that he did not have a TER account, but on the first date, he started listing services I offered based on my TER profile. However, those are things you can't see unless you are VIP.
It wasn't a huge deal. He didn't act up during the first date, but the insults on the body left a bad taste in my mouth. However, it was tolerable enough to me at the time of booking the date, and also at the time of confirming because about an hour later, after confirming two days prior , I found out the bad news. He had just told me not to contact him until the morning of the date. He communicates via text. So, I contacted him the morning of the date and canceled. Now, the reason I didn't tell him the nature of my cancellation, is because I read all over these boards that nobody believes when there's a death in the family.
Why would I tell somebody something like that just to have them not believe me? Any other day the date would've been fine, but with the state that I was in, and how particular he was at wanting the lady to be fully there, and also at how particular he was about body image, there was no way I was going to pull it off
I don't know if you are him, but it sounds pretty similar except it was a morning date.
So really yeah, I felt bad, but I felt worse about what was going on in my two prior days. I also felt he would be better off with what he likes. Spinners. Couldn't figure out why he would even schedule a second date with me if I wasn't his body type. So that caused a lot of questioning as well. I'm not sure why anybody would pick a lady who is not the body type that he likes. I am thin, my pictures are accurate, but he thought I was average. I'm just not interested in listening to that shit just after somebody in my family died honestly. So I canceled, and I did not give him a reason except I need to be with my family.
-- Modified on 2/19/2017 4:24:21 PM