You say that before the appointment, you are more horny to see the repeat providers - indicating you are enjoying the anticipation more with a repeat than a new provider.
After the appointment, however, you are measuring enjoyment in pops per hour (and you're discounting BBBJ/HJ; do your providers allow CIM? That feels pretty amazing to me, often better than FS). Given that this is based on a decent sample size, this is the real you. And you're far from the only person for whom routine is not beneficial to orgasm. As others have said, you could try mixing things up with the repeat providers to give it a new experience. But if you're doing the same things with new providers, you're controlling that variable. It's very likely that the newness is what makes you lose control. I don't know how you change that. What you could think about, however, is which feeling is more important to you - is it possible that the anticipation might be more valuable than the event? You might have to choose. After all, the anticipation lasts much longer. If the only criteria is pops per hour, I could get that much less expensively with web porn and a quiet spot.I haven't been hobbying long, but when I meet a provider I like a lot the first time, cumming multiple times in an hour appt is never an issue.
But I have noticed for the providers I really like a lot, enough to have multiple repeat appts with, it's not only harder to cum multiple times but that first time cumming during FS becomes more and more difficult, and sometimes results in the provider downgrading to a BBBJ/HJ just for the one pop.
I have tried a few strategies, refraining from masturbating or seeing other providers for several weeks. Getting in better shape, losing weight, working out a few hours before meeting with a provider. But for the last 3-4 providers I have seen on a longer term basis, this pattern of starting off with initial awesome multiple orgasm sex, is followed by good but relatively average sex by a few months later.
But with out fail, when I see a new provider, even the ones I am not super attracted to, but attracted enough to, I can pop twice under in hour. Does the novelty factor of meeting someone new add to performance that much? Is this pretty normal pattern for everyone else? Or am I doing something wrong? I am no less attracted to the repeat providers I see, and if anything am more horny to see them again for repeat appts. But my performance unfortunately declines and the sessions are not as enjoyable.
-- Modified on 2/10/2017 4:06:03 AM
I would have to say that even those of you that fall a little bit in love with one provider will find that newness is always the spice of life. I tend to get repeats on those who like fetishes and different activities such as watersports or domination since they are different and few providers are skilled in that area. I don't get my feeling hurt at all with regular calls that don't repeat since I know newness is the name of the game otherwise you would marry one of us lol.
I am a thicker and curvier girl so some men have tried to blame that on just the one session (who did a regular call versus fetish) but I know in my heart that newness is alwasy the way men go for best excitement. Others have commented on the USA 's" guide boards that I am nice, very eager to please and be pleased and that My performance is excellent. It made me understand men better the first time years ago that I read the negative reviews and the logical reviews where men who knew the game better defended me. I do as I stated mostle get repeats for nuru or fetishes only since few others provide that.
Supposedly one day President Calvin Coolidge and his wife were touring a Midwestern farm. They were being escorted separately and Mrs. Coolidge was shown a rooster. She was told that the rooster could perform his duties up to a dozen or more times a day. Mrs. Coolidge, a bit surprised, asked the guide to mention that fact to Mr. Coolidge. When Mr. Coolidge, was apprised of this fact, he asked: "All with the same hen?" "No, Mr. President, always different hens." "Please be sure to mention that to Mrs. Coolidge.", was the President's response.
I guess silent Cal wasn't silent when it mattered!
Funny!
Conversationally efficient.
Does anybody know where that article is... someone posted about the health of men's semen after watching a new lady in porn?
Anyway, there was this test where a dude watched porn, and the same girl was in the same scene... he came to the porn after watching it 8 consecutive times. Then the 9th - he watched the same porn, but they threw a different girl in the scene. His semen was stronger and more abundant. lol. Something like that.
I believe in your case, you are probably establishing an emotional connection. It's extremely difficult for me to cum when I feel "emotional" or really connected to someone unless it's intercourse.
The only way I can cum during clitoral stimulation is if I start thinking up clown porn or jail gang bangs. lol! It disconnects me from the emotion and all the other stuff that happens in the mind as you get to know someone. (I don't tell them until after I'm done cumming about the jail-porn because I get embarrassed that I'm thinking about it and not them lol.)
I feel exploring more psychological ways to be turned on by your partner is very important. And if you want to see the same lady over and over without torturing yourself about the fact that you can't cum the same, how about cumming a new way with her?
And I'm not talking BBFS.
I've had a client show me this Nuru meditation (hi if you see this lol) - and that was spectacular!
Get in a fight! I have butt heads with a few clients and the makeup sex was INSANE lol! (I don't suggest making that happen lol - I"m saying if you butt heads, or she pisses you off, give it another chance (only if she will of course lol) - don't demand she "make it up to you" - just be like Garth Brooks. "Sometimes we fight, just so we can make up!")
Or if she starts suggesting (always let her suggest) if she starts suggesting you need to try different positions, or dom/sub, or bring another girl - doooiiitttt. (whatever you're comfy with.)
Or switch it up. Do a more extended multi-hour date where you can't touch each other during dinner or shopping. Then go back and do it.
Anyway, just some ideas. Lots of people don't want to manage a relationship, but for some, that's the fun part. Finding new things with another human. If you don't want to manage it, move on. If you do, (sounds like you do, or you wouldn't be posting this,) then try some new things..
but your thinking does. I bet you'd make a good .... never mind.
Seriously, everything good can get stale without change. Passion CAN diminish ... variety can come from within. I also believe seeing other providers keeps things fresh. And finally, emotions can get in the way.
Refraining from sex for a few weeks can have the opposite effect if what you think. Like any other part of your body that you can "train" to increase performance, if you have sex more often, you will train the systems involved to rise to the occasion (no pun intended).
(civilian) who commented when we were with friends, "I notice when I'm having great sex, it just makes me want more sex."
Gratifying, since I was who she was having sex with those days.
...and the feeling is mutual, since I repeat as often as I can with them.
Yes, I believe your hunch is right. The novelty wore off. For some gents, in my experience, this can be remedied by "spicing" things up a bit". For example, change the location you meet your favorite ladies and try new experiences. Perhaps, you both meet at a crowded bar and she looks stunning. The men are staring and she leaves with YOU. Small things like this can turn the heat up for your subconscious mind and allow you more play time.
Nina I am thinking the next question is what are the five signs of burnout of a provider? Or when can you tell a provider has been in business to long? These are questions a hobbyist would ask when her responses are mechanical and no longer has an emotional connection to her clients. That would be the first sign of her professional apathy and the first domino to collapse that would be directly attributed to performance decline. Henceforth it would be a decline of enthusiasm that a hobbyist would be looking for specifically from his ATF.
You say that before the appointment, you are more horny to see the repeat providers - indicating you are enjoying the anticipation more with a repeat than a new provider.
After the appointment, however, you are measuring enjoyment in pops per hour (and you're discounting BBBJ/HJ; do your providers allow CIM? That feels pretty amazing to me, often better than FS).
Given that this is based on a decent sample size, this is the real you. And you're far from the only person for whom routine is not beneficial to orgasm. As others have said, you could try mixing things up with the repeat providers to give it a new experience. But if you're doing the same things with new providers, you're controlling that variable. It's very likely that the newness is what makes you lose control. I don't know how you change that.
What you could think about, however, is which feeling is more important to you - is it possible that the anticipation might be more valuable than the event? You might have to choose. After all, the anticipation lasts much longer. If the only criteria is pops per hour, I could get that much less expensively with web porn and a quiet spot.
That's a long time. I can only speak for myself, but after a few days there are diminishing returns on abstention.
My problem opposes yours. I almost always have a hard time finishing the first time I meet a lady. I don't exactly get quicker each time, but in general I finish earlier on repeat visits. That's so far, at least. I haven't seen the same provider more than 8 times, so maybe there will be a steep drop-off.
Anyway, just telling you my normal pattern. Your problem (if you want to think of it that way) is a common one with menfolk, I think. But it's not everyone's problem.
My main girl is still great after almost four years of seeing her. I see a few other girls to keep the newness from getting too scripted.
In both civvy and P4P - things click better as we get to used to each other. I learn her signals - she learns mine.
I have run into one or two P4P where things just were not going to click; it happens. Technique was good - an orgasm was achieved but... Time to move on.
It's called chemistry and you just have to respect it.
I guess it's just me but I really don't think of a BBBJ/HJ as a downgrade - just part of play... Nor do I count number of my orgasms as a bench mark.... From my point of view - I grade a session by how much do I really NOT want to leave her bed when it's time to part.
Some guys like that newness, perhaps you are one of those. Honestly, having a sense of familiarity with a gent is soooo sexy for me. You learn each others kinks and twists...can anticipate him going to those hot secret places. Feel the yearning for him to explore there...hot, hot, hot
I had/have a provider that I have seen at least 20 times. Best sex I have had, but the time to release has gotten longer even though she hasn't done anything differently. Great. Every. Time. I think it has to do with the familiarity factor for me and as someone mentioned above, the variety of spreading your seed. And, as the encounters progressed, it's always in the back of my mind that this is just a transaction and nothing more. Friends with benefits with a donation.