B & S is a whole different ball game.
So, a client calls me for an appointment. We chat a bit, I text him directions. I have another client texting me as well. I usually don't take appointments within the hour, but I was only 15m from my incall. Suddenly, the guy who booked, starts sending "wavering" text messages. He's not sure, he thinks I'm in a "bad mood", he doesn't think we have a "vibe"...
So what do you do? I assure him repeatedly that whatever "vibe" he thinks there is, there isn't. I'm in a perfectly fine mood. I suggest maybe he shouldn't try to divine people's moods over text messages. I answer 10 more text messages over the next 12 minutes....I'm literally standing in my friend's hallway with my keys in my hand, already having made the inconvenient excuse to leave, trying to figure out if I even still have a reason to. Talk about awkward.
This goes back and forth for almost 15 minutes, with both of them texting me with detail after detail after detail and question after question... and the guy who booked finally "decides" on coming after all and I bolt out the door and race to my incall. I arrive literally a few minutes before he does, and rush around getting a hot schoolgirl outfit with garters on. He arrives, I direct him to my place, he comes up the elevator, and decides after 30 seconds that I must be "in a mood" and that that he "doesn't feel it"...and he leaves.
I'm completely dumbstruck. I've never had a client just bolt like that. I've never been in a situation where I had to *prove* I was in a good mood. (And how does one do that, exactly?) And now I'm sitting here, back home, after having wasted an hour on someone who'd rather play psychic and try to guess what mood I'm in...and of course the other gentleman who was texting me is now nowhere to be found.
This, hobbyists, is how NOT to handle an appointment with a provider.
-- Modified on 2/9/2017 12:08:59 AM
-- Modified on 2/9/2017 12:09:20 AM
And I only thought women only did that. I have had bad vibes and as soon as that happens I would stop it right there. And you look pretty good dear I wouldn't walk out on you
That you wouldn't walk out because she "looked good." What if you were disappointed in her looks once you saw her? Would you walk out then?
You see I wouldn't book a lady I didn't find attractive. So if I get there and I don't find a lady attractive there is an excellent chance her photos aren't an honest representative of her looks. If the difference is great enough it is called a "bait & switch". And I walk out of 100% of B&S artists not leaving a dime. But let's say her photoson are accurate but I breathed in to many paint fumes when I booked or something, in that case I would stay because it was my bad call.
B & S is a whole different ball game.
you probably could have figured out this was a waste of time
and 90% of the time, I leave very happy.
He is clearly having mixed feelings from the beginning. He is anxious to see some one but has been debating with himself about guilt, fear, money, who knows?
You have great reviews, your pictures say he opened the door on a very attractive woman. This was all a battle inside his head with fear and guilt over coming desire.
His loss.
... financially.
I hope the OP is sure to let all of her fellow providers know who this sterling gent is, so they can respond appropriately if he ever tries to schedule a date with them.
how a provider should not handle troublesome texts (or any other form of communication) from a flaky, time wasting client.
At the first sign of wavering, you should have cut him off with a polite but curt: "Let me know when you are sure you want to see me." and ignore any other communication that falls short of that. If he confirms but then goes flakey, send him a ta-ta text and put his number on DNS.
Such people are unworthy of your time, to say nothing of other benefits.
collect your donation, its not your fault he decided to leave. You have a life too. And if he didn't give me the donation I would blacklist him and never see him again.
I don't like people that push my boundaries or try to play games with me.
So what do you do? I assure him repeatedly that whatever "vibe" he thinks there is, there isn't. I'm in a perfectly fine mood. I suggest maybe he shouldn't try to divine people's moods over text messages. I answer 10 more text messages over the next 12 minutes....I'm literally standing in my friend's hallway with my keys in my hand, already having made the inconvenient excuse to leave, trying to figure out if I even still have a reason to. Talk about awkward.
This goes back and forth for almost 15 minutes, with both of them texting me with detail after detail after detail and question after question... and the guy who booked finally "decides" on coming after all and I bolt out the door and race to my incall. I arrive literally a few minutes before he does, and rush around getting a hot schoolgirl outfit with garters on. He arrives, I direct him to my place, he comes up the elevator, and decides after 30 seconds that I must be "in a mood" and that that he "doesn't feel it"...and he leaves.
I'm completely dumbstruck. I've never had a client just bolt like that. I've never been in a situation where I had to *prove* I was in a good mood. (And how does one do that, exactly?) And now I'm sitting here, back home, after having wasted an hour on someone who'd rather play psychic and try to guess what mood I'm in...and of course the other gentleman who was texting me is now nowhere to be found.
This, hobbyists, is how NOT to handle an appointment with a provider.
-- Modified on 2/9/2017 12:08:59 AM
-- Modified on 2/9/2017 12:09:20 AM
I've had guys literally poke poke poke me over the years when nothing was wrong. I just start poking back and eventually one of us pops. It's an interesting game, but I stopped proving everything is ok and just say yeah I'm mad at you. You're an awful person. How dare you?
lol whatever I hate guessing games. Fuck this guy. He should pay a cxl fee though. What a piece of work. Lol
-- Modified on 2/9/2017 8:59:31 AM
with guys who are marginal hobbyists due to lack of discretionary funds. They can only afford one session a month and they work themselves into a frenzy worrying about taking their ONE session with the wrong girl, and end up second-guessing themselves so much, they don't have a good time in the end no matter who they choose. Providers never have this problem with guys that hobby at least weekly. You get a bad session once in a while, so you forget it and move on. No drama or anxiety necessary.
But your explanation is perfect. I think we could add that some of these guys also start running out of funds after being regulars, but still want the attention. So they start creating problems, including something like showing up to see the girl, and saying she's in a mood.
They still get to see her and connect with her in a way that they establish a connection. They upset her/hurt her feelings. It's still a connection/experience even if it's negative. There's a thrill to it.
Apparently it doesn't stop after high school.
-- Modified on 2/9/2017 9:34:42 AM
three texts are included in the session price, and after that, its $5 a text message, so you suggest he save them for when he arrives in case he gets lost or something coming to the incall. Email only when setting things up is a good way to go, as suggested by another provider here. You will get a much better sense of the guys commitment, or not, from emails than you will from texting. If he wants to play 20 questions, you just stop responding.
So what do you do? I assure him repeatedly that whatever "vibe" he thinks there is, there isn't. I'm in a perfectly fine mood. I suggest maybe he shouldn't try to divine people's moods over text messages. I answer 10 more text messages over the next 12 minutes....I'm literally standing in my friend's hallway with my keys in my hand, already having made the inconvenient excuse to leave, trying to figure out if I even still have a reason to. Talk about awkward.
This goes back and forth for almost 15 minutes, with both of them texting me with detail after detail after detail and question after question... and the guy who booked finally "decides" on coming after all and I bolt out the door and race to my incall. I arrive literally a few minutes before he does, and rush around getting a hot schoolgirl outfit with garters on. He arrives, I direct him to my place, he comes up the elevator, and decides after 30 seconds that I must be "in a mood" and that that he "doesn't feel it"...and he leaves.
I'm completely dumbstruck. I've never had a client just bolt like that. I've never been in a situation where I had to *prove* I was in a good mood. (And how does one do that, exactly?) And now I'm sitting here, back home, after having wasted an hour on someone who'd rather play psychic and try to guess what mood I'm in...and of course the other gentleman who was texting me is now nowhere to be found.
This, hobbyists, is how NOT to handle an appointment with a provider.
-- Modified on 2/9/2017 12:08:59 AM
-- Modified on 2/9/2017 12:09:20 AM
But it is all part of the business. Usually I am in a great mood while setting my appointment, and then on the day of the appointment I do not feel so great. Of course it all depends on the setting while meeting.
at the same time-
remember, you DONT have shit to prove, if your service is righteous.
He put off your balance- immediately put you in a "people pleasing" position, and if this is not your MO, well you learned the hard way it's better to shut it down in it's tracks, as opposed to wasted time.
I've found most clients aren't like this- thank gawd- but there is a good chance this is what the loser does, and gets off on it.
You are you, so OF COURSE you know you weren't in a mood.
Remember, own your space. Next time someone tries to manipulate you that way, now you know the bs that that can lead to.
Guys that attempt to set the mood of my incall usually cause me to feel annoyed and I'll suggest we postpone meeting at a time that they trust me as the best lady for their craving.
I'm a lot more patient now than I have been in the past, but due to clients like the one described in the OP - I've taken more toward owning the experience I provide and turning down fickle natured bookings. Its just not worth the mental impact, which can last longer than the session itself sometimes.
Luckily, this doesn't happen very often. I don't wish it on any lady. Sounds light, but can really feel bizarre when it rarely ever happens. 
cancel the appointment. Excessive texting is one of the biggest red flags in this business.
Sometimes I exchange several texts with a lady before meeting. Other times the only texts are when I leave the house on my way to the appointment and then again when I get there asking for the room number. So even that is two texts, only one short of your suggested maximum.
If a woman doesn't want to be bothered with endless texts all she has to do is let the guy know she can't get ready for their date AND text at the same time. and THEN if the guy becomes a douche she can cancel the appointment.
It's one thing if both parties are enthusiastically exchanging texts, quite another when a new client starts blowing up a lady's phone. I'm referring to the latter situation when I advise against multiple texts.
Some of the ladies I've seen, usually the younger ones, are inveterate texters. They go through multiple texts saying nothing, just to initiate and maintain contact, it would seem.
Maybe it's different from the other side, and I wouldn't know about red flags. But to many people 3 texts is nothing. They do that before opening their eyes in the morning.
It's not true 100% of the time but when a new person is texting me and wants to figure out my whole life story I know he's not going to book.
I've been in sales, customer service and retail ops since 1968 and of the many life lessons I have learned in all that time dealing with literally tens of thousands of interactions is that some people aren't worth the money.
Some people have their own reasons for being jerks, in a bad mood or just being picky that day. At some point in the process, I have to decide whether they are worth the hassle of the interaction and how much additional grief I can expect even when the transaction is completed. Is this just a bad day for them and they will be "good" customers in the future? Or are they relentless asshats and every future interaction will be a lesson in teeth grinding (while trying to keep smiling)?
I've found that all my experience only confirms what Maya Angelou said -- "“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”
Sorry!!Thats annoying of them and rude! I personally would cut it all of the minute they get weird and question petty shit like that. Ive never had a guy question my mood like that before. Very strange!! Ive put up with so much fuckery so now at first sign if bs i tell them look elsewhere lol
This guy was practically shouting 'I'm a timewaster!'
I live far away from most of my bookings (I usually have to drive 1-2 hours each way). So I generally make sure that everything is set before I leave. Otherwise, I waste a whole day (and put a ton of miles on my car, and potentially pay $50+ for gas/tolls/parking - I'm based out of NYC) for nothing.
For instance, a young-ish guy booked an appointment w/me a few weeks ago. He was verifiable (p411 w/several OK's), but I had to ask a million questions to nail him down to a specific time, and length of date. I sent a confirmation email the night before. Didn't hear back. Then about an hour before the original appt, 'Hey! Yes I still want to meet but my schedule changed. I'm not sure when I'll be free. But I definitely still want to see you. When are you around?' Then a few hours later, 'Hey, can you come now?' Even if it were possible, I wouldn't. I'd be afraid that when I got there, he'd be like, 'Oh, geez!! I just met my friend from waaaay back! Can we do this tomorrow? Whenufree?' So I told him exactly what mrfisher said, which is that if he wasn't sure of his schedule, he should pick a provider who could accommodate more flexibility, and that I wasn't the right person.
On the other hand, I met a regular yesterday. He set the appointment up a few days in advance, for a specific day/time/length. Since there was an impending snowstorm, he emailed me the day before, making sure we were still on, and assuring me that he'd understand perfectly if I was not able to make it. I gave him the thumbs up. The day of, I messaged him when I'd checked into the hotel to let him know that everything was running according to plan. He arrived on time. Simple. That's the way it should be.
I can't really relate to this guy at all. When I am set to visit a provider I am like a kid waiting for the candy store to open.
Clicked on your profile and I see you are a transsexual.
My guess is he probably had conflicting feelings about this.
I used to be into BDSM and often times I had the feeling of "I'm just not feeling this" when I came up against the difference between fantasy and reality.
From my experience, the more questions a client has, the least likely they will do business or it will go wrong.
I understand to ask questions about what you're about to spend money on..but TOO MANY questions to be is for sure a red flag.
was not a new client, then there should not have been a vibe issue.
Maybe this is a reason not to take same day appointments. As several others have said, email exchanges might work better to keep the drama to a minimum.