He wasn't on time in any manner. It's on him.
I'm undecided on this one, and would like to get a sense of "popular opinion" regarding this situation. 
I had a 9:00am booked for today, who scheduled approximately one month in advance.
He was supposed to contact me for my location by 7:00am. When 8:00am rolled around and still no word, I emailed him.
About 30min later he responded but said due to the bad weather, he would not arrive until 9:30am.
Unfortunately, my schedule could not accommodate that time-change (I did try to move things around, but it just wasn't possible) so I offered to see him this afternoon instead. He can't do the afternoon. And thus, the date is cancelled.
To be honest, even if he had advised me of this by 7:00am, I still couldn't have made it work but doing so just 30min prior to when we were supposed to meet made the situation more aggravating for me lol.
My question: Did he cancel? Did I cancel? Mutual cancellation?
What say you?
The weather was not an unknown, he should have gotten going earlier.
...if you hadn't emailed him. This one is on him.
not invited to Thanksgiving this year. I think you are justified in asking for a cancellation fee. He can either mail it, or you can send over "Louie the Pipe" to collect, his choice.
and even worse, you had to contact him instead of the other way around. No excuse when an appointment was set so far in advance. Letting you know only 30 minutes before an appointment booked a month in advance, and only doing so after YOU had to contact him first is all on him.
This is barely one step above an NCNS, as who knows if he ever would have contacted you if you hadn't rattled his cage first.
I still don't get making appointments out that far. I make my appointments a few hours in advance and NEVER fail to show up.
Of course, now I'm at the age where, as the old joke says, I don't even buy green bananas.
Nothing wrong with a month in advance or even longer. It's all a matter of what you and the lady are comfortable with.
The fact the guy ran in to some scheduling issues, weather, whatever, and essentially got himself cancelled, might have had nothing to do with his scheduling in advance.
MfSD>>>>
-- Modified on 2/8/2017 11:49:51 AM
He was going to NCNS. Actually he technically did by not calling by the agreed upon time. He knew what the weather was days prior and didn't try to change the appt.
I would have emailed him the day prior just to make sure nothing came up. A month is a long time in advance for an appt and who knows what may come up in that time frame. Should have had more recent contact, if even by email.
Regardless it is 100% his fault and you don't owe it to him to feel bad about it. Obviously he wasn't even ready to come over as he wanted to be late. Whether he forgot or was going to no-show, who knows, but not your fault.
This is barely one step above an NCNS, as who knows if he ever would have contacted you if you hadn't rattled his cage first.
I still don't get making appointments out that far. I make my appointments a few hours in advance and NEVER fail to show up.
You say, "Can you please text me by such and such time, if you find out you will be unable to make it AT ALL tomorrow, so I have the option of doing a late check-out." They then go radio silent at the confirmation time. You opt to renew the room, because you want to air on the side of NOT BEING FLAKEY yourself... ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT, NO, THEY CAN'T MAKE IT. And that they were just too plain RUDE to spend 10 seconds responding with a text!
They don't even APOLOGIZE, half the time. Nevermind, offer to off-set part of the room cost etc.
I have cell phone reverse look-ups and texted numerous people with their full legal names, addresses, home numbers etc in the past couple of months, and basically threatened to out them for this type of behavior. PLEASE NOTE I DON'T ACTUALLY FOLLOW THROUGH AND DO IT, but it gives me a little bit of satisfaction to psychologically terrorize them for a few minutes! "She just texted me a picture of the front of my house, off Google. What if she actually DOES call my wife?!?! Oh shit! OH SHIT!" LMFAO.
It is so sad to me that FEAR is the only emotion that motivates some people to behave in a thoughtful and compassionate manner.
And THIS, my friends, is how really sweet, un-jaded hookers... become "bat-shit crazy hookers."
It's not MY FAULT. You made me this way.
Most guys don't find even the threat of being outed for such a thing even the slightest bit amusing.
Of course, come to think of it, I am almost positive I know your "real" fake name, maybe I should let a few of the guys up in the city of Brotherly Love in on the joke?
Not so fucking funny now, is it?
and hookers wonder why guys refuse to give out personal info. SMH
I will take the secrets of my sweet, generous, and considerate clients with me, to my grave.
But if you never even make it to an initial meeting... and cost me money, through your lack of consideration... and just shrug your shoulders, and say, "Too bad," why I am I compelled to protect you?
The "honor" only applies to actual CLIENTS. Not to malicious, timewasters. No?
Devil meet your new advocate.
The punishment needs to fit the crime. Costing someone their job, their marriage, their kids etc etc. because they cost you a couple of hundred bucks is beyond the pale. Just like me contacting all your clients and telling them this is how you really feel, over some dumb shit you said here on the board would also be over the top.
but, using your own line of reasoning, why should I "protect" you?
"Outing" someone should be reserved for only the most serious transgressions. NCNS, while annoying, is hardly an offense that justifies outing.
I bet you if you asked a thousand guys if they would EVER see a hooker that they thought had even a one percent chance of acting like you did, I bet you 999 of them would say no. I am sure there is probably one dumb fuck BSU, maybe that Google guy who is such a jellyfish that he would "understand" why you would do such a thing. Any guy with his ballsack intact would avoid you like the plague if they could "see behind the curtain"
Those people I will go to great lengths to protect.
People who treat me like a disposable commodity and a second class citizen, because I'm a "vulnerable criminal," and they falsely believe themselves to be "anonymous?"
Those people I will attempt to "educate" about their misconceptions. 
Someone might take you seriously and take preemptive steps to protect themselves.
You might not have noticed, but virtually EVERY guy on this thread has taken Debra's side on this. Yours? not so much.
Yeah, because THAT never, EVER happens.
And by "never, ever," I mean it happens all the time.
Maybe we should all just be courteous and kind to eachother, not because we are being threatened with bad reviews or being outed, but because that is the RIGHT WAY to treat fellow human beings???
Next time YOU get called a "dumb whore" by someone who just NCNSed you, YOU tell me how YOU respond?
'Kay?
A dumb john perhaps, but usually when people call me a whore, they mean it as a compliment.
I have been NCNS'd on the same as everyone else who has been here longer than a week. Do I get pissed? Of course I do, do I threaten them with retribution? Of course not.
I my own business I have had NCNS situations that cost me a hell of a lot more than you have. Unless you can tell me that you planned a meeting in another state, Cleared your schedule, costing you thousands (I make more than a hooker, so my time is even more valuable than yours) Hopped on a plane just for that one meeting, only to have the guy NCNS on you, and then duck your calls from there on out.
Yes, it sucks, but no I didn't threaten him over it. I did what any other business person does. I got over it and moved on.
Technically you're not, if you're only GIVING it away.
But the word "whore" is very often used to label someone who is merely promiscuous, rather than a pro/escort/provider/call-girl/whatever-the-fuck.
So you're a slut. Or perhaps, in your case, a mega-slut. Which, in my opinion, is one of your more endearing qualities.
I am too, and see nothing wrong with that. I just saw my 3rd client of the day, and now I'm hitting the road to my next city..... where I have a booty-call waiting for me tonight. Which makes me a SLUT and a WHORE.
Yes, I'm a slutty, slutty whore.
I think I need to put that on a T-shirt.
and of course I am not saying I am not a man-whore. That would be like saying I am not a drunk.
I mean what's the point of telling a lie that NOBODY will believe? lol
Speaking of whores and sluts, one of my favorite sluts calls me a man-whore. Hey TL, this one's for you.
Words to live by.
Ps. I love Ancient Aliens, as well. But BOO on those messages they sent you!
-- Modified on 2/8/2017 10:15:11 PM
And he told you, "That's life. Maybe you should get a real job," and hung up on you?
You mean that a tiny, little piece of you WOULDN'T be tempted to text him a picture of his front porch, as a response?
You mean the thought wouldn't even CROSS your mind? REALLY??? Lol.
Either this is a "real job," and everyone is held to certain ethical standards... OR WE'RE NOT.
This is like church confession.
Forgive me father, for I have sinned. It's been 16 years since my last confession
I'll say 50 Hail Mary's and no more revenge texts, I SWEAR!
Agree 100% with you. That's way over the top to "out" someone over a NS!
I'm well aware of such practices and making these threats only hurts the cause of those who advocate only screening with real-world info.
Please take note that while I DO have a real-name policy, I do NOT advocate, advise, promote, encourage, or in any way attempt to influence other ladies to adopt that for themselves.
Funny thing..... a significant percentage of people who try to talk their way around my policy are nowhere near as anonymous as they think they are. Once, when someone was being exceptionally annoying, I addressed him by his full name and told him he didn't need to GIVE me a thing: I already had all his social media accounts, home address, work info, etc.
Yeah, he kinda freaked out.
Bad Debra! Bad, bad, BAD Debra.
That was one of those moments I wish I could have taken back, because I truly didn't mean to frighten him.
But the upside is he learned not to contact providers from his "real" email address. So I guess I could rationalize it that way, as simply teaching him something? ;-P
They flagrantly wasted my time and then got VERY RUDE when I called them on their behavior.
I didn't appreciate their smug, cavalier, smart-ass attitudes, so I ran a reverse-look up on their contact information using methods I will not discuss here.
Oh, and a lot of people get sloppy and use the same handles for different accounts.
GaGambler USED to LIKE this game. He called it, "Got rope?"
I am already "out" and as such I am blackmail proof. You can only blackmail somebody with the "threat" of outing them. Once you actually do it, there is no more threat.
My point is that hearing how others were threatened, especially WITHOUT consciously handing over said information, makes many even more leery of "giving" it to those who require it.
If you somehow inferred that, well...... I really don't see how. LOL.
Of course, come to think of it, I am almost positive I know your "real" fake name, maybe I should let a few of the guys up in the city of Brotherly Love in on the joke?
Not so fucking funny now, is it?
and hookers wonder why guys refuse to give out personal info. SMH
but maybe with any luck one of the fatty twins will take the other side and there will still be hope for me?
with someone they just NCNSed?
I should have been more clear- I would never "terrorize" someone who NCNSed and then promptly called me afterwards with a valid explanation or who apologizes profusely or who attempts to re-schedule, etc. I MIGHT, however, "terrorize" someone who re-peatedly hangs up on me or says extremely rude things. The later type of people don't REALIZE that I have screened them, and feel emboldened to act like total ass-hats.
I let them mouth off... and then give them, as they say, just enough rope to hang themselves.
(I STILL haven't outed anyone YET, though lord how I have wanted to. And sending a few BSC hooker texts serves to let off steam and then I am on to the next one...)
if this is now true. I was told by cell phone companies that this was not possible. What if a hooker gives up her cell phone to LE? I actually don't give a shit but knowing someone can do that raises some concerns. What if the hooker finds your real name and address and while you are doing her, her driver is doing your house.
You will shit yourself if you knew exactly is traceable and exactly how much information is available for money. Your email is traceable. This is assuming you conduct business with it.
Burner phones, not registered in your name, and not used to conduct non-hobby business generally not tracible. If you so afraid of unlikely scenarios like a copy getting a sex workers phone, opening it, getting your number, tracing it, then giving a fuck over a misdemeanor charge that you have basically have to be caught at or confess to be convicted of, you best get one. Hell it is a good idea other much more realistic concerns like reducing the wife looking up the phones account usage and seeing a unknown number and calling it.
I hate how a lot of you guys assume you have "more to lose," than we do! We are ALL real live human beings, with families, friends, and full existances... trying to thrive, or at least SURVIVE.
Very few johns ever learn the real name, much less address of the hookers they see.
I think the guys hate how a lot of you girls assume "You" have more to lose.
What's good for the goose and all that shit.
Let me ask you this, How many clients of yours have even the slightest idea where you live?
Those can get robbed. They can get robbed by guys that "have a bad feeling" about the location then turn away after they've received the address and apartment number.
I realize that this is a rare event, but so is it a rare event that a man's life is ruined by using real life info.
cell phone reverse look up work on throw-away/pre paid phones? which many guys use
That is if you really do have that look up
That is if you really do have that look up
As Scoed said, all it takes sometimes is a single incident of crossing "personal" and "hobby" accounts, AND THAT'S IT. Certain sites aggregate all those various accounts and compile them in tidy little dossier.
ask the hobbyist to confirm 48-72 hours ahead of time. This may have prevented him from cancelling last minute. Do you have a cancellation fee listed on your website?
You didn't say if there was any contact since the date was scheduled.
Be considerate GaG. Some of us aren't in a place where the selection is so stout that you can pick and choose a lady and see her within hours. I have had to book as far as 3 weeks out to ensure my session with a touring lady.
Not to mention it really doesn't matter if he booked a month out or the day before. His behavior was a mere cunt hair better than a NCNS. I have little doubt that if she hadn't reached out to him, he would have simply not shown up, leaving her hanging.
Not that it is that relevant to the issue, but I do maintain that the longer in advance an appointment is booked, the more problems seem to arise with either too much or too little communication during the time between when the appointment was set and the actual day of the appointment.
I often make dates up to two months in advance. Sure I have had a few cancel out but at a no greater rate then dates made a few days ahead. Most of my out and out flakes happen when I booked last minute. And on my end I only missed one appointment because my son got sick and my sitter needed me to pick him up. I not counting times I cancelled because the lady was running way late so I told her to forget it. I have a very low tolerance for unprofessional behavior from those I pay.
But I have noticed a trend on the posts whining about NCNS and cancellations from BOTH the guys and the girls, most of the whiny posts start out with "We booked the appointment well in advance"
Very rarely does a guy or a girl come on here whining about the NCNS that happened on an appointment booked only a few hours earlier. It happens of course, and it has happened to me as well, but I doubt I have more than one or two women out of a hundred flake on me on a "same day" appointment.
Well posting does but only because it can be broken into 5 minutes here or there but nothing like a session. I rarely book last second but my track record doing so isn't great.
he cancelled.
That happens but he should have had the courtesy to tell you without you having to contact him.
Simple courtesy.
What if you had someone who could have used that time slot?
...you had to contact him. Then he needed to make a change. You tried. It's all on him.
It seems to be customary to touch base the night before when you book in advance -as I do. In fact, I can't think of a time where I didn't get a reminder email --- like my dental hygienist does. Or my barber... or my cable company... or my electrician...
I schedule my hobby time slots on my calendar just like everything else... I actually thought it was standard practice like the two call tango to get a reminder email and then for me to respond with a brief affirmative.
It's on him for screwing up with his calendar. But as a matter of improving your business practices and avoiding revenue loss you should consider adding a reminder email to your routine.
I had a 9:00am booked for today, who scheduled approximately one month in advance.
He was supposed to contact me for my location by 7:00am. When 8:00am rolled around and still no word, I emailed him.
About 30min later he responded but said due to the bad weather, he would not arrive until 9:30am.
Unfortunately, my schedule could not accommodate that time-change (I did try to move things around, but it just wasn't possible) so I offered to see him this afternoon instead. He can't do the afternoon. And thus, the date is cancelled.
To be honest, even if he had advised me of this by 7:00am, I still couldn't have made it work but doing so just 30min prior to when we were supposed to meet made the situation more aggravating for me lol.
My question: Did he cancel? Did I cancel? Mutual cancellation?
What say you?
-- Modified on 2/8/2017 2:49:07 PM
I'd just chalk it up, not look to assess blame, and move on as friends.
Bad weather traditionally throws of schedules - you don't need me to tell you that. Plus, he may have left in plenty of time but if there were accidents along the way it may have been hard for him to get a read on how long it would take to get to see you.
Should he have called sooner? Absolutely. Should you have made contact the night before to confirm, especially if bad weather was predicted? Yes. Should he have contacted you the night before for the same reason? Yes.
I think you both could have done a better job at making this happen. Now that said, since he proposed the date and time for the visit it was on him to make sure he showed up, so this is likely a bit more on him, but I think this one falls into the category of 'shit --- or snow-- or accidents in heavy traffic on the way over - happens'.
I mean a half hour late in a big city on a snowy day with lots of traffic is not too far off when you think about it.
-- Modified on 2/8/2017 3:26:05 PM
No, to everyone who mentioned it, I do not typically re-confirm. My instructions regarding this are clear, and I've had quite a few clients book months in advance and not need any reminder.
BUT..... it is a good idea, so perhaps I'll start sending out "reminder" emails. That is to say, I'll ask my assistant if she can do it for me! LOL.
then that is bad on his part. He should have contacted you. If you mentioned he hadn't left yet I missed it - I apologize - but that changes it to me. Shows a lack of good faith on his part.
For an engagement made so far in advance, he should have touched base with you 24 hours or so before the date, to confirm, cancel or make adjustments. As Mongo mentioned, you could have done this as well.
He failed to contact you when agreed, and canceled with little or no notice, only after you reached out to him. My gut says he would have been a NCNS if you hadn't contacted him.
He should have reached out to you sooner or left sooner to make adjustments to accomodate the weather.
I'd say he was a disrespectful tool at every opportunity.
You should be commended and his actions (or lack thereof) condemned.
He wasn't on time in any manner. It's on him.
could it be because he bagged out on DH? Of course ... if he was close by, weather should be a non factor. Further away ... maybe a call the day before asking how you would like to handle potential weather concerns.
Maybe he really just wanted a Nooner all along?
I am on her side considering they agreed on 7am contact and she didn't hear from him until 1.5 hours later.
that's what I said
When you have a doctors appointment, you have a certain amount of time to cancel if needed or else there will be a fee. He did not communicate with you on a timely matter- which was 7am. He was the one who breached the oral contract. (No pun intended)
It was very nice of you to reach out to him before he actually became a NCNS...
-- Modified on 2/8/2017 4:24:43 PM
He cancelled, albeit late. He should have called sooner. You muddied the waters by contacting him although I would have also. You did the right thing to try contact, it shows grace. What do you know of the weather, was it an issue? You could cut some slack if weather was a real thing. Perhaps he was busy getting there and couldn't text/email.... maybe? If not, then he is at fault for not calling.
As a client, when do I call? I'm a little late, but traffic screws up and I'm going to be later. Then something unexpected happens and ....
Or he was a jerk.
I get your end of it, appointments, scheduling, etc. You can only do what you can do. He should have called but he didn't. Bottom line for me is do you believe the WEATHER excuse?
...don't wait an hour before contacting.
If he doesn't contact you by agreed time, Give his ass a wake up call.
Both parties should be obligated to be on time, but occasionally you have to give a little leeway for the sake of business.
He did try to make it right though, although it was 30 minutes late.
If you are a low volume provider, maybe it would be wise to schedule a buffer between appointments in case shit happens, especially during winter.
It sounds like you made your schedule very tight, without even 30 minutes of wiggle room.
One time I scheduled an appointment with a provider for 4-5pm, and she had another customer scheduled for 5pm, blowing up her phone just when I got done.
I kinda scolded her for scheduling appointments so close together. She didn't even consider cleanup time when she booked the other customer.
It was in her own self interest to ask this guy if he planned on showing up. Is your dentist being "classy" when his office calls you the day before your appointment to remind you to show up?
Her reaching out was neither classy or not, his behavior of course was the opposite of classy.
Something came up (forgot? changed mind?), and he tried to make an excuse because you called him on it. A cancellation is when you tell the other person way in advance. This is the kind of thing that hurts all the good guys. My policy is a quick 'see you tomorrow' email the night before. And then an 'I'm on my way' email the next day before the session. How hard is that? Many times I like to plan sessions out a month or more in advance. This type of thing makes the ladies not want to do that. For example, my whole summer is already planned. I know the exact dates and times I can party. Why not tentatively set that up with a dependable atf? But now Mr. Knucklehead f*cked that up.
...what would have happened if you *hadn't* called him to see where he was? You calling him merely made him get organized, not the other way around.