even you, whether in P4P or elsewhere in life. Make it a hobby, and take some of the stress out of it for yourself! As C-P said, trying to hobby like it's a life-or-death business deal is destined to frustrate you to no end.
No, I'm not excusing a gal who is chronically late. I'm simply saying that you'll enjoy yourself more if you lighten up a bit and leave more time for fun. You have control over that! Hell, I doubt I could even get wood or enjoy myself if I imposed that type of time pressure on myself! I've always heard the gals being accused of being "clock-watchers", but I guess turnabout is fair play! lol. As for the gal, 1/2 off as a way to "make it up" is a VERY generous offer, and more than many offer for even a cancellation. Sounds like she wants to keep you, and like you'd like to keep her. Loosen your schedule and see how it goes. IME, you will NEVER find punctuality like you currently expect in the hobby - period. I always schedule 2 hrs+ and while both I and providers have been late, allowing plenty of time for fun has always paid dividends - I've never felt shorted on time or pressured to the point of anxiety or anger (excluding a poor BP experience or two before I found TER and P411, etc..). Hey, just my .02
Set up an appointment with a nice lady I had met through P411. She was great.....great chemistry...mutual interests....very erotic time; only drawback was she was 20 minutes late, had to sit in my SUV waiting for her to call me to tell me she was ready. I figured this was our first time, and in the future this would not be an issue. Maybe this is my pet peeve, but tardiness is a huge turnoff. I explained to Miss Provider that the worst thing she could do was have a client wait, especially if he drove across town to meet her. 5 minutes is acceptable....10 minutes is trying my none to gentle patience.. 20 minutes TOTALLY UNREASONABLE!
Today was to be our 2nd rendezvous. We set this up 5 days ago for 12 sharp. I get an email at 11 that she is running a few minutes behind...can't see you till 1215, but 1230 would be ideal. I explain I am on a tight schedule, I have business deals that will go down if I am late. I cannot commence any later than 1215. She says that's fine.....no problem. Show up at 1215, and I call her and she tells me she needs 10 more minutes.....I bail after almost 30 minutes waiting. I sent Miss Provider an email, apologizing, but my time is more valuable than this. I explained that I had driven an hour out of my way, had revolved my schedule to accommodate a mutual agreeable time, and then adjusted it to accomodate her, and at the very least she could accomodate me by being on time. Ms. Provider sent me a long apology, explaining that she was not trying to be inconsiderate, and offering me a future rendezvous at 1/2 agreed donation. No hard feelings.
I realize that I should not attempt middle of the day rendezvous. Like my childhood principal explained, First comes work, than comes play. (No puns intended). I probably will not schedule with this lady again. Hobbyists, has this happened to you before, and how did you handle it? Is 20-30 minute delay totally unreasonable? Providers, I am interested in your opinion about this.
Of course. Totally has happened to me before. How I handled it. Asked why politely. Reason was sufficient at the time. Didn't happen again because I didn't see her again, lol. Not because of that though, no chemistry. I would have given her another chance just based on the time mishaps but I don't know about three. You know you are right to be thinking and feeling what you are. Time is valuable. To some more than others but it should always be respected on both ends as if it is of utmost importance. I always assume a companions time is just as important as if I were dealing with the busiest person in the world. The same respect is only fair. You gave her a second chance and for some reason it happened again. Both occurrences could have honestly been no fault of the companions as far as carelessness to you and could have just stemmed from honest real-world mishaps. Just bad luck for you. If you enjoyed your time with her, just let her know that you are willing to meet again possibly but you are just not the gent who can spare 15-30 minutes off schedule. If you can at anytime, you will let her know. Not that it would be cool even then but it would lead to more flexibility for that visit of being able to look past. Her saying that your next appointment could be a reduced rate was nice I suppose but how does that solve the real issue at hand for future encounters?
It's part of the inherent agreement. Punctuality. If she can't get that or just lives a lifestyle that doesn't support it, then you two are not a good match. Quite honestly, I don't see how she would be a good match for most. Some people just have issues with punctuality. Even in the corporate world but in the corporate world they will get bullied into being on time or eventually fired right, lol.
You were totally right to feel the way you did. Yes it was unreasonable. Good luck if you give her another try Gov!
Thanks Hector; I am of the school that most people whether personal or business deserve a 2nd chance when they mess up and apologize; very few deserve a 3rd chance! The foibles that occur within this hobby are no exceptional!
I find it's not worth the aggravation to be scrambling and have to potentially abandon a schedule date. The lady in question was definitely pushing it, but if I gave up on every lady that wasn't the most punctual, then... I wouldn't have had half the fun I've had in this game!
Have had too many things go wrong when time was of the essence( NO MAS!!! Isn't that what that boxing fellow said a few back when he was getting butt whipping(?
TIME is our most precious possession, and it should be used accordingly, otherwise, we squander these riches that are given to us in limited(like the hairs on our heads) numbers(
even you, whether in P4P or elsewhere in life. Make it a hobby, and take some of the stress out of it for yourself! As C-P said, trying to hobby like it's a life-or-death business deal is destined to frustrate you to no end.
No, I'm not excusing a gal who is chronically late. I'm simply saying that you'll enjoy yourself more if you lighten up a bit and leave more time for fun. You have control over that! Hell, I doubt I could even get wood or enjoy myself if I imposed that type of time pressure on myself! I've always heard the gals being accused of being "clock-watchers", but I guess turnabout is fair play! lol.
As for the gal, 1/2 off as a way to "make it up" is a VERY generous offer, and more than many offer for even a cancellation. Sounds like she wants to keep you, and like you'd like to keep her.
Loosen your schedule and see how it goes. IME, you will NEVER find punctuality like you currently expect in the hobby - period. I always schedule 2 hrs+ and while both I and providers have been late, allowing plenty of time for fun has always paid dividends - I've never felt shorted on time or pressured to the point of anxiety or anger (excluding a poor BP experience or two before I found TER and P411, etc..).
IMO, being on time is a sign of respect. I know some folks are very loose with time. But I too feel my time is important and when a provider or client is late. I get frustrated. I feel I deserve better than this. Yes one time is excusable. I know that when I want to visit a provider on their first day in town (maybe I have a thing for clean sheets), I may and have run into issues with the provider not being able to check in.
But some, always have an excuse. Yes, I can free my schedule for a two or 2.5 hour slot for a one hour appointment. But then I wouldn't have money to hobby
I as well as many other providers, have a real life as well as being a provider.
I tend to an elderly person with alzheimer's who is also handicapped, and am a single parent. So I try to juggle VERY WELL, at times, no matter how I rush, there just isn't enough hours in the day to do IT ALL. I try to keep my ducks in a row, so to speak, so I can show the respect that comes due with clients who pay me hundreds of dollars.
I'm not trying to make excuses, simply trying to make people see reason.
I also respect the fact when a man tells me he has very limited time, so that every domino can fall into place, with perfect timing. Again, in the real world, it doesn't always happen perfectly, but I TRY to do so without fail. Luckily, I have a pretty loose clock (as in, I arrange what I do, so I can try to shift stuff around if need be.... although it is a LOT of stuff to shift & a challenge at times..) and most of my clients have or can deal with either of us running early/late, without complaint.
If a provider has offered you a half off session, she has extended herself as much as she can in apology, to show you that she does value you as a client. You should at least give her that much credit.
My personal two cents- I have a family friend who is consistently late, 2 hours to every family event. Every.... single...time!!! Argh!!!
I have learned to tell them... that our 4pm party is at 2pm!!!!
Just sayin!
Foxy
Posted By: TheGovernor
Set up an appointment with a nice lady I had met through P411. She was great.....great chemistry...mutual interests....very erotic time; only drawback was she was 20 minutes late, had to sit in my SUV waiting for her to call me to tell me she was ready. I figured this was our first time, and in the future this would not be an issue. Maybe this is my pet peeve, but tardiness is a huge turnoff. I explained to Miss Provider that the worst thing she could do was have a client wait, especially if he drove across town to meet her. 5 minutes is acceptable....10 minutes is trying my none to gentle patience.. 20 minutes TOTALLY UNREASONABLE!
Today was to be our 2nd rendezvous. We set this up 5 days ago for 12 sharp. I get an email at 11 that she is running a few minutes behind...can't see you till 1215, but 1230 would be ideal. I explain I am on a tight schedule, I have business deals that will go down if I am late. I cannot commence any later than 1215. She says that's fine.....no problem. Show up at 1215, and I call her and she tells me she needs 10 more minutes.....I bail after almost 30 minutes waiting. I sent Miss Provider an email, apologizing, but my time is more valuable than this. I explained that I had driven an hour out of my way, had revolved my schedule to accommodate a mutual agreeable time, and then adjusted it to accomodate her, and at the very least she could accomodate me by being on time. Ms. Provider sent me a long apology, explaining that she was not trying to be inconsiderate, and offering me a future rendezvous at 1/2 agreed donation. No hard feelings.
I realize that I should not attempt middle of the day rendezvous. Like my childhood principal explained, First comes work, than comes play. (No puns intended). I probably will not schedule with this lady again. Hobbyists, has this happened to you before, and how did you handle it? Is 20-30 minute delay totally unreasonable? Providers, I am interested in your opinion about this.
I have a family member who is also always late to scheduled dinners etc. AND my SO... LOL, So I started telling her we have to leave 15 minutes before we actually have to leave. Once she was "on time" and I had to figure out a way to delay our departure
I understand stuff happens. But I don't like sitting at a hotel parking lot for 30 minutes. I can understand some tardiness, but sometimes a provider that is consistently more than 10 minutes late would cause me to move on.
I am thankful that one provider I enjoy IS punctual and it's always nice to pull up to the hotel and recognize her vehicle in the lot. One time, I was concerned because she didn't respond to my text, and when when I showed up at the hotel, she came out and said her phone had issues... (oops, she knew my car, and there went my anonymity
both of us "being on time" is very important to me; and that is a GREAT quality in a provider. It's not that my "time" is really valuable or worth much of anything at all. I can always accommodate or adjust to any changes. But, punctuality definitely means a lot to me for many other reasons.
It is somewhat stressful for me to set up, coordinate, and then get to and from an appointment. KNOWING that the gal will be on time is very comforting to me. And the knowing of that is pretty rare, and takes many visits and time with the gal.
We all look for our own qualities in a provider. If you are lucky enough to find someone who has most of those, AND is always on time---that is pretty special.
To answer your question, since you two seem to connect, I would give it another shot or two. But if the pattern of lateness continues (10 minutes or more late is too late), either adjust and deal with it or move on to someone else. Being on time is not that hard
I've only had to delay three dates due to the provider running late. I would never cancel a date unless they didn't contact me within 15 to 5 minutes of the start time.
The first time I had a delay was my first time, and I should have flat out canceled it because the date was not as good as I though it would be. Delay time: 15 minutes.
The second time I had a delay was because the provider was having a hectic morning and got delayed due to family obligations (Fully Understandable). She doesn't live in the Triangle area, so she commutes to her incall everyday too. Luckily I was taking the day off from work with nothing else going on, and She was kind enough to let me know exactly when she was going to be ready.Delay Time: 90 minutes. The date went great !!!
The third time I had a delay was also due to the provider running a bit behind. In a nutshell, fashion emergency caused by spilled coffee. Delay time: 30 minutes. She made up for it in a great way!!
May try 1 last time the next time I am in the area. Will not schedule if my business schedule is hectic. Looking forward to meetings some new lovely ladies. TheGovernor
Posted By: capsde58
I've only had to delay three dates due to the provider running late. I would never cancel a date unless they didn't contact me within 15 to 5 minutes of the start time.
The first time I had a delay was my first time, and I should have flat out canceled it because the date was not as good as I though it would be. Delay time: 15 minutes.
The second time I had a delay was because the provider was having a hectic morning and got delayed due to family obligations (Fully Understandable). She doesn't live in the Triangle area, so she commutes to her incall everyday too. Luckily I was taking the day off from work with nothing else going on, and She was kind enough to let me know exactly when she was going to be ready.Delay Time: 90 minutes. The date went great !!!
The third time I had a delay was also due to the provider running a bit behind. In a nutshell, fashion emergency caused by spilled coffee. Delay time: 30 minutes. She made up for it in a great way!!!
This might be a casual job but its still a job. I chat with and enjoy my guys company, but regardless of how friendly we are I'm still going to do my best to be professional. Besides that its just consideration and respect to be on time. Doing outcalls I can be driving all over, traffic and accidents can be unpredictable. I always try and leave extra time, but if I'm even 5min late I feel horrible. I have a few early birds and anyone who knows me knows I am not a morning person but the stress of being late wakes me up every time hah.
If someone is chronically late I don't think its excusable, no matter how good the chemistry is. Offering half off does show it matters to her, but if it doesn't change your time must not matter THAT much. There are punctual, professional providers out there.
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