...so perhaps you're simply seeking out the wrong Dommes or seeing ladies that aren't comfortable with pushing boundaries.
Boundary-pushing, unless SERIOUSLY and EXPRESSLY STATED is always a double-edged sword. I've pushed boundaries with some, when told it was completely fine to do so, only to be told that they didn't want their boundaries pushed (and didn't use their safe word to indicate that). I highly doubt you've played things out, as there are about as many different styles of play as there are people. Someone will be able to rock your world again, but you have to be patient and be sure that youre actually having sessions with the correct people. If you keep getting a different version of the same session, I'd recommend expressing your needs and wants in a different manner. Something may be getting lost in translation from your brain to the keyboard, and re-wording things or expressing your boundaries in a different manner might be in order. If you really want your boundaries pushed, state so, and state so clearly. If you have soft limits that you want to experiment with, say so! If someone tells me that they have x soft limit, i probably won't include that play in a first time session unless that person tells me specifically that they want that limit pushed. Good luck to you! I hope you find someone out there!I have been playing in this arena (submissive bdsm) for a few years, and part of the rush for me was always that fear which came from not knowing what might be coming next, or what boundaries might get crossed.
As time as gone on, I find sessions becoming extremely routine, despite some very specific input provided upfront for things to really get pushed - and some additional insights I am always willing to provide. What I typically get is still a different version of the same session.
So have I played things out and it's time to move on? Am I choosing the wrong people? Can I get experiences that truly rock my world, or is it time for me to hang it up and just be grateful for what I have experienced?
Input welcome as a reply or pm...
-- Modified on 1/10/2016 5:37:36 PM
If things are still blah, then time for a new hobby.
If you crave frustration, I'd suggest golf
you may not have found the right people. There are five dommes with him I was involved for a long time --four professionals and one lady who was in it for her fun and satisfaction only-- Each of them always kept things fresh and exciting.
As I think back, what made each continuously fresh and exciting was that each made things intensely sexual, each tended to include variety by adding other people from time to time as audiences or participants and each was very imaginative and clearly loved what she did. Each also had a way of making me just frightened enough so that the licking and kissing and begging for mercy on my part were never faked but very ernest. Each knew how to cause just enough pain and danger.
In my relationships as a dom with female subs, I have always tried to do the same.
I'm sorry to hear the Domme's you've been seeing haven't been treating you right! I would say this is an issue of miscommunication perhaps. A true Domme will bring you to your limit and extend it each time, seeing how far you'll really go. There is no fun in it for me if I'm just lazily flogging someone calling him a bad boy for an hour. True Dommes are intuitive and often know what you need before you do!
...so perhaps you're simply seeking out the wrong Dommes or seeing ladies that aren't comfortable with pushing boundaries.
Boundary-pushing, unless SERIOUSLY and EXPRESSLY STATED is always a double-edged sword. I've pushed boundaries with some, when told it was completely fine to do so, only to be told that they didn't want their boundaries pushed (and didn't use their safe word to indicate that).
I highly doubt you've played things out, as there are about as many different styles of play as there are people. Someone will be able to rock your world again, but you have to be patient and be sure that youre actually having sessions with the correct people.
If you keep getting a different version of the same session, I'd recommend expressing your needs and wants in a different manner. Something may be getting lost in translation from your brain to the keyboard, and re-wording things or expressing your boundaries in a different manner might be in order. If you really want your boundaries pushed, state so, and state so clearly. If you have soft limits that you want to experiment with, say so! If someone tells me that they have x soft limit, i probably won't include that play in a first time session unless that person tells me specifically that they want that limit pushed.
Good luck to you! I hope you find someone out there!
"... and part of the rush for me was always that fear which came from not knowing what might be coming next, or what boundaries might get crossed. .... As time as gone on,..."
Asking for that first flush of romantic excitement when you first started dating your husband is like asking to experience losing your virginity all over again. You can go through the motions but the fact remains that the things you are looking for will never exist again in that context. You can't go back, there's no forward to go to... there is only inward.
The same applies to BDSM experience and thrill seeking and why some folks end up in emergency rooms with foreign objects of unexplainable logic and size trapped in their rectums.... it took a long time and alot of revisiting that "stretching" sensation to end up able to even consider accommodating......
You get the idea here?
While you can't expect alot from a pro-dom session because the deeper connection that is the holy grail of transcendant BDSM simply isn't in the design (that would require (a) an actual relationship that meant something to YOU and (b) that elusive intimate chemistry), you should also reconsider your actual expectations and drives for BDSM sessions with anyone and ask yourself if it isn't time to either (a) move on to some other risk taking, thrill seeking hobby like maybe, base jumping or drag racing or (b) look within to see what you were using BDSM to try and act as a catharctic psychological or emotional release from.
This is probably not the answer anyone wants, especially here on a hobbyist board but it is the most honest, realistic and useful answer anyone can give you.
You can never be a virgin twice. You can only go with it and go deeper in the experience or move on to an arena that is completely alien and foreign to you again that allows you to experience "virginity" in some form again.
Good luck.
Governesse
Wow, that really was a great answer. Not the one I was hoping for, but probably the truth... May be time to move on and revel in the memories of what I have experienced...
I have to think about that a bit.