If I have to wait five minutes I'm gone in four.  

I'd assume you were BS, and said the same thing she did.

...when she left me sitting in a parking lot for 20 minutes...I texted her when I arrived, called at 10 minutes, and texted the "goodbye" at 20 minutes...she contacted me shortly thereafter claiming her phone was messed up and she didn't see the texts or missed call...true? I don't know...

Everyone is different, and have different standards...some may say she's unreasonable while others would support her completely...

You could have done things differently to possibly prevent this...you could have sent her your room info earlier and told her to come straight up...or you could have kept your phone close as the appointed time neared...

Sorry this happened to you...

She arrived on time, and you were late (in the bathroom)? You don't know how many times, over the years, the lady needed an extra five or ten minutes to get ready. Your on time friend sounds great! I want to meet her.  

As for wait times, it depends on location, atf status, past experiences, reviews, newness, communication, gut feelings, etc. There's no set time limit for each occasion. I can tell you that atfs get more time, while new ladies don't get that benefit. Also, I don't like wandering around hotels knocking on doors, so in that situation, I'm likely to leave more quickly. Then again, if she has her own incall, I don't like parking in a random neighborhood, and just sitting there.  

One time, an atf gave me the wrong key code to her apartment. Trusting our mutual dependability in the past, I had left my phone in the car a few miles away (big city). This might sound strange but I felt like my only option was telepathic communication. So I leaned against the wall, cleared my mind, and kept the same thought in my head, "(Her name), come down and get me." Five minutes later she came down and got me. I can tell you that sessions are wilder and crazier if there's a meeting of the minds prior to the session.

Email can lag the most, in my experience. I have gotten VM notifications many minutes (or longer!) after the actual VM was left, certainly not instantaneously. Texts seem to come thru pretty quickly and a talky phone call usually connects without a problem.  

My wait time is determined by my schedule. After several NCNSes, I am less tolerant and won't hang around as long. If it was email lag (that you didn't see until Start+10), I guess you could have emailed her at Start+2 min or Start+ 5 min to ask if she was getting close.  

After hearing from you and what sounds like a legit reason, I think she should have come back and stayed until OriginalStart+60, not LateStart+60, for the full amount ... assuming the time stamp on her lagged email was actually true (OriginalStart-minus-a-bit).  If her email time stamp was Start+9 and you got it and replied at Start+10 then she is late, too.

Overall, it sounds like you're better off this way, richer and wiser

i made a date in advance to see someone in a city I was visiting a few weeks later.  I booked a room for the days needed for business and one extra day.  On the assigned day in the am, she e mailed me and asked Where are you? I answered that I was "right here and can't wait. to see you." She answered that since I hadn't kept in touch, she thought I had forgotten about it and made other arrangements and it was my fault for "being a jerk".
So even though I contacted her the am for a pre booked late am meeting, I had made her wait too long....past D day minus some number of days or hours.
This was just after a lady I was going to see and did meet wrote and said because I kept contacting her it made her worried I was having second thoughts.  
Oh well win some lose some.

and that's not even getting her side of it.

Some opinions....

First -  you should use IM once you are "on the way" rather than email.  Mobile phones handle that better than email - for a lot of reasons.    

Second - ten minutes past the appointment time with NO response is getting late.   I would be headed home too.  Lots of times, I have received a "give me ten minutes" - but I have never gotten radio silence around the appointment time.    

Third - you were in the bathroom, presumably getting a shower -  can't think of any other reason you would be in there for that long without your phone handy.....  You needed to plan that better

total bullshit from her but at least you know

she wasn't worth your time.

WOULD have taken me to read your post.

As a provider (I am obviously not, but just thinking in dollar terms) I would wait a good fraction of the scheduled time (as I unlikely couldn't arrange a replacement date that fast anyhow) hoping to connect and collect some dough.

Of course if I had another session scheduled right after, I would have to cut the session at the end of the original time block.

Walking away quickly seems sort of like girl-logic, where emotional outburst-revenge is more important than dollars.

As a client, again unless I am schedule constrained at the end of the time block, I would wait a good fraction of the scheduled time because I'd likely already invested something in either traveling there or re-scheduling other things that are too late to amend.  

I think it is obvious her girl-logic emotion reaction cost her hundreds of dollars.  But using her girl-logic, she is probably proud of her reaction.

... after 10 minutes waiting for an escort with no word from her. Why the fuck were you in the bathroom at the appointed time. Sheesh. Loser.

-- Modified on 1/14/2017 10:52:06 PM

and also prop open the door shortly before the appointment time.  

It's best not to tempt fate.  

Also, get your ablutions completed we'll before the appointment time.  

That said, she's a jerk. Maybe she did you a favor.

Also if she refused to have your phone # or share her phone # that's also on her. I can totally relate to the punctuality aspect. I myself take pride in being punctual and expect punctuality from the other party. Dust off and move on but please use what you learned in this case so it doesn't happen to you again.

-- Modified on 1/14/2017 11:47:09 PM

But the exception in my case was I had his phone# and he had mine.
I sent an confirmation email and he did confirm the appt let me know he arrived at the hotel and the room number.
I knocked a few times no response I went down to the hotel lobby/casino got a cocktail at the bar tried to call him received a message the phone would not accept calls.I tried to text his phone had a text block on it.I also emailed no response.
I must have waited probably close to 30min.I gave up and left.

Even though it was very busy with a major convention in town so tons of people I was irritated with having to wait.
When I got home finally got an email saying work dinner ran over something was wrong with his phone in the hotel bad reception or something and wanted me to come back.Which I declined I was not going to deal with the terrible traffic again.
I was upset.But I will say he did make it right he gave me my full donation for my time wasted the night before the next morning with no service given.Totally turned around what I had been thinking which was a timewaster.
Just sharing my personal experience.

So I can totally understand her frustration with waiting when you did not respond right away.
In some hotels I do find that emails do not go through right away for some reason maybe the area it is located.
But you do not know how long before she received your emails.Maybe she thought you were no call/no show or was not even really at your hotel.I find it best to give the room info once you are checked-in or the day prior to appt to avoid these type of things because technology can mess up and then people are upset.
I don't leave my house if I do not have a room number ahead of time.The only exception is if a guy has to come down to meet me due to key card or security.

-- Modified on 1/14/2017 9:44:16 PM

What she did was politely tell you not to contact her again after you wasted her time. 10 mins in the bathroom and you know she's on her way? Lol. Sounds fishy.  

 And it was an outcall appointment? I wouldn't have waited either especially after calling and emailing. I would've thought NC/NS or the police were gonna meet me in the lobby.  

This Provider was correct to leave.

....since I have yet to visit a provider at her place and have her be ready on time. As long as the communication continues I'm ok with sitting in the lobby. On the rare times that I have her come to me I typically have been kept waiting for upwards of 30 minutes. Sometimes more. As long as I'm not close to check out time I don't mind all that much. Again - as long as she communicates with me on her status it's all good

I will usually wait 10 to 15 minutes and enjoy a drink at the bar. Anything after that I think I may leave. Now if I arrived and he was running late and said to wait longer I totally would. We all run into occurrences time to time. The way she handled it was a bit odd to me. She may have not even gotten there and made it all up just to get out of it. Who knows.

I understand telling her which hotel you'll be staying in when you make reservations, and emailing the room number after you check in, but if you arrive and spend your first night, then in the morning email her your hotel info, why wouldn't you just include the room number?

I can see why a provider would want to hold off on that, but as a client...?? Did you think she might want to arrive an hour or two before your appointment and...what?

As far as how long she should wait, that can't be set down as a policy. If she emails you from the parking lot or from a Starbucks a few blocks away, and you don't respond directly, she can't be blamed for feeling that you were flaking on her and nothing was going to happen.

This about fun...structure and polite, yes, but fun!  I would have gone back if all commuication had been reasonalbe to begin with.  I do second chances...I mean things do happen.  Internet can get slow...etc.  So I would have probably gone back to my car or someplace discreet, tried to re-establish communication which in this case would have been almost immediately.  

Make me winder if she got spooked...this world can go to your head.  Take the high road and stay grounded.  You sound like a nice guy.  Try to pick nice and laid back ladies...it is about connection not a show of force.

I recently waited 45 minutes past the anointed hour...the assistant conveying room logistical issues. And this was in a small lobby of a boutique hotel. But the lady was gorgeous, renown and a sweetie. One of my best times ever and a new fav. Glad I waited.

hhhhmmmm,
well, I like the email process for contacting, except for when it gets down to the final steps of meeting.
To prevent incidents like this , a phone number, given the morning-of, could have saved the date.

ps;  
I would have been bombarding you with emails from the lobby. lol.
    I did not cut out that slice of time from my life,  
    get all dressed up,  
    drive all that way,  
    hand my vehicle over to valet
    to just leave without some sort of Effort.  

I would have invested about 15 minutes into the "Wait"
    depending on whether there was a bar in the hotel or not.

 


-- Modified on 1/15/2017 1:46:52 AM

different wait times.

Several years ago I was to meet a provider (for incall) I had previously seen in another state. The appointment was for 4pm but she had trouble with the hotel (her room was not ready). I waited about 30 extra minutes but the wait was well worth it.  We have seen each other several times since.

Most of the incall dates I do I find the provider is rarely ready on time. It is usually an extra 10-15 minutes until I get the go ahead to come on up.

For outcall, I usually shower / shave 45 minutes prior to the date so that I am ready a good 10 minutes prior to our scheduled meet time. Providers generally are very good at communicating about traffic / travel issues. As long as the provider keeps me informed, I will wait.

As was said previously, this is supposed to be fun

the thing is Love,

you will most likely have a "BlackList" report for this incident.

I've easily waited 30 minutes or more....

there is always a place to grab a drink, a up of coffee, or simply do some work. It doesn't mean I don't get irked or start to worry the rendezvous is going south... I just turn on some patience and see how it plays out. I never book so tightly on either side of a date that an hour "delay" somewhere in the process is going to ruin my day. Suffice it to say, while I have had a date or two fall though, I've always had a positive outcome in the end.... either we meet and laugh aside life's little interferences on the way to a good time, or we don't meet but eventually come to terms and meet at a later date... usually on favorable terms for me

only email, no text/phone?

who relies only on email any more? ok, maybe a few gals.  
but to be "unavailable" at the appointed time is a rookie move.

how can you not have your phone with you at the agreed upon
time? and not real bright keeping your room number from her.  
you probably wanted to be sure she didn't show up early before  
you were ready for her.  

so let me ask you, what outfit were you putting together while you
were preparing? time management dude. time managemen

When it comes to the finally steps, there is NO reason you both didn't contact via phone. She should have had your room number. Why wouldn't she anyways? You don't wait til last minute to do whatever you were doing when you know she is on her way.  

This would have never happened to me bc if you don't give me the info, I am not coming.BUT if it did, for a regular I would wait 20 mins. A NEW guy? I would just think you are LE and is busy finishing arresting another gal. Just being honest. It's the only thing that would go through my head beyond game playing.

Lesson learned I hope, for both of you.

Instead of setting up a specific appointment time, ask ahead if she’ll be flexible within a 15-20 minute time slot in case something comes up, particularly with email communication that can and does include lag time certain parts of the day. Or give a specific time, but also ask if she’s flexible several minutes beyond appointment time to allow for a mishap. It doesn’t hurt to ask.

Obviously a lot of different perspectives regarding wait times.  

For those curious about the bathroom, I took a leak with the door open. Not sure if I didn't hear the sound from my phone when she sent her first message, or if her email was hung up in the server. Probably not important for the story.

A number of people mentioned that text or phone would have been better. I agree but the provider was email only.

Best advice in hindsight would have been to give her my room number when I sent her the hotel info in the morning rather than relying on a two call system since I was already checked in. That's a lesson for me for next time.

Note that I wasn't slamming the provider and would have worked with the remaining time or tried to make things right, but she had already cut off contact.

Was mostly curious about wait times. I've waited longer for providers in the past, but it's clear now that some clients and providers don't wait. Thanks again for the feedback.

My best overall experiences by far have been with women who have been totally professional about being on time or communicating a delay. Just like with any business, I find that people who take pride in their business and their name are the best. I know delays can happen and am more than understanding, but please just tell me what's going on as the hobby can often be a place where people default to assuming the worst - not the best.  

I used to wait long past the point of stupid, as I didn't want to accept that I was going back to work unfulfilled. Now though, I think back to the old song I  Ain't That Lonely Yet, and call it quits the moment I feel I'm being jerked around as life is too short and there are lots of other ladies who are happy to take my money lol

-- Modified on 1/15/2017 2:11:28 PM

Google voice, Textnow, Talkatone........     all kinds of free texting/calling apps these days that give you a free number. Why the fuck would a provider not use one?

I've read about one particular provider in the LA/OC area who does email only, even right before the appointment, and she's almost always late. What a pain in the ass.

numbers once screening is completed. Without a cell number, there will not be a date. In this day, cell phones are essential in case of travel emergencies.

She is the one getting paid, she should have waited. Period. (Too many girl flakes in this hobby)

Provider posted a nearly identical story, says it was an over night booking, that she gave up after waiting a long time, and suggests her client was threatening in his attempts to get his deposit back, and asks the community for advice on the deposit. I think she also mentioned regretting not getting a promised steak dinner.

Any chance it's the other side of this same story

Without any communication, I am willing to wait 10 minutes for an unfamiliar provider, and 20 minutes for my ATF. With communication regarding delays, I am willing to wait longer in either case, but not if I get the sense that somebody just got moved ahead of me in line. In my early days in this hobby, I often faced a delay of one or two hours past the original time, because the provider booked somebody else ahead of me after we had already scheduled an appointment. Even my ATF back then pulled this stunt from time to time. After several negative experiences, I took a firm policy of cancelling if my appointment got delayed for more than 30 minutes.

One time, it got ridiculous. First I called Provider A for a 7:00 PM appointment. We had seen each other once previously. She called back around 6:45 PM, to say that she was running late but we could do an 8:30 PM. I said no to the new time and said that maybe we could get together some other night when she wasn't so busy. I then called Provider B for an 8:00 PM appointment, and she called back to try to reschedule for later but I cancelled. Then I called Provider C for an 8:30 appointment. C showed up on time, but just after I let her in my apartment, A showed up and wanted me to buzz her in. I explained that I was busy with C, who showed up without delays or excuses. A threatened to wait for C so she could "kick her ass." I told C, who wasn't worried because A would probably get another call soon anyway. C was right. I had a nice time with C and never called A again.

Recently, my current ATF asked me to wait an extra 10 minutes before giving me her hotel room number. I didn't mind the wait, because she always smells so fresh and clean, and she isn't a clock watcher. If she needs 10 minutes extra to freshen up and I'm getting extra time anyway, that's great.

So when it comes to outcall I won't wait that long. There are guys who call you to their apartment complex or hotel and don't have the money or whatever and just get off on seeing you come in and wait and stand around while they watch you from across the lobby or from their apartment window. So now i head out if i don't hear from you in ten minutes, especially when i just heard from you a few minutes before arriving.