TER General Board

Re: Err on the the of caution and be discreet....
Fancy8888 See my TER Reviews 692 reads
posted

Posted By: mrfisher
If there is no good reason to share personal information with a client, then don't.  Don't worry so much about being considered aloof.  I've known one provider for about 6 years and hardly know any of her life story, but she is a fantastic provider so I don't mind at all.  
   
 Don't be a person who digs their grave with their tongue.  
   
 
Good point don't be a person who dig their grave with their tongue.No one can run from their past.Doesn't matter if you go to school or legit job you work in illegal business.Watch putting your face out there in illegal business. Telling whole world your prostitute.F****** sugar coated words in the business..Pay to play.To much personal information paid session is wrong.

This question is for the guys and girls of TER. (cuz more heads are better than one)

Conversations take place in the session. You can't get around it. What I want to know is if I am talking about why I'm not available so often (when asked), reason would be school. Now I know if I was studying to be say a realtor i would not want anyone to know. One day, I know, my face will be plastered somewhere, like a bus stop bench, and I would not want my past to haunt me.

But if it was something that I would be hidden in, hard to find, not so public, can I talk about it?

What are some of the pros and cons if I decide to do that? I personally don't see anything wrong with it, but people can be creative and find ways to 'out' or haunt me if they so desire. Sometimes because they got mad they couldn't get an appointment (in that case they couldn't be sure it was me having never seen my face, but can speculate just the same and cast doubt) or just because they are one of those people who can't keep quiet when they have a secret no one else has. Input is much appreciated before I go opening my big mouth :)

I do not pay a great deal of attention to "pillow talk".  It is what it is - it's a nice relaxing way to come off a good orgasm..  maybe it's just a pleasant way to pass the time with a lovely, naked woman...... or whatever.  To me - it's just part of the fun.

It's probably easier to keep up your end of it if you don't wander too far from the truth.  Don't get too detailed and you should be good...  As far as being a realtor is concerned - I think escorts have a better reputation... so I wouldn't even worry about that.  

If they are going to get all stalkery on you - your pillow talk is the least of your worries

GoogleWasMyIdea678 reads

is be very sure to never, ever, ever, use the photos of you on your escort site anywhere else, as anyone who searches those photos would find the escort site in a heartbeat

the amount of info a provider gives me during pillow talk about herself is usually directly proportional to how long I have known her.  Trust is developed over time.  There are many of my former regulars, many of those now retired, that know how to get ahold of me, and I know how to get ahold of them in their civvie lives.  Some have remained friends for years.  Once in awhile, one will hit me up for a dinner date and no-strings sex if they currently don't have a significant other.  It great, nostalgic fun.  I doubt that would happen with a girl that I had only known for a short time.  

So I guess I'm suggesting that you parcel out information over a period of time as you come to know and trust a customer, and get a look at his character.  The same goes for hobbyists in giving information to providers.  You never know in the beginning who is BSC.  These things become apparent over time.

One cannot outrun the Skeletons.

Do Not talk about personal stuff,
unless you are at PEACE with yourself and
Societies Belief System and Judgements
                 around SEX.

I think the more you see the more the person opens up. Like my atf shared how she became escort etc. But I never asked since it is super awkward imo.  If the other party I initiates then I think it is cool. But I wouldn't share too much detailed information obviously.

Interesting example. A genuine porn star in LA retired to the real estate biz. I think she even has video walk-throughs of some properties. I have no idea what her life is like as a result of the porn star fame, however. (Somebody Rayne? Raine?)  

If it suits your personality, try using gentle humor to deflect overly personal Qs. "What's your major?" "Well, in this biz, I've seen massive objects and tiny objects, so you'd think I _MIGHT_ be a physics major. But I've also seen too many black holes so you'll just have to guess." "What school?" "I can't tell you that! You might sign up for a class with me and then I'd have to charge you for helping you with the problem sets."  

Well, _attempted_ humor.  

I was seeing someone in Boston who was visiting from Chicago and she volunteered some school stories. I had recently read a news story about something at one of the major Chicago schools (of which there many) and mentioned it and she almost freaked out. "How do you know about that?" Eh, the news. "How do you know about THAT school?" Eh, it was in the HEADLINE news. Etc. The session went south from there.  

Some would say to keep your stories straight, but you decide. "So you're an X-major at TER University? Another reviewer wrote that you told him that you were a Y-major at P411 College."  So many replies:
"Who are you going to believe, TER reviewers or me?"
"I told him to change the story to protect my real ID."
"I've had more majors at more colleges than Judy Maxwell!" (see the clip)

Like many things in this world, the good thing is that you don't need to protect yourself from the vast majority of "us". You do need to pre-protect yourself from the occasional anomaly.  

Good luck! Stay safe! Have you considered taking Archaeology at Tuskeegee Institute?

Posted By: MmmMelanie
This question is for the guys and girls of TER. (cuz more heads are better than one)  
   
 Conversations take place in the session. You can't get around it. What I want to know is if I am talking about why I'm not available so often (when asked), reason would be school. Now I know if I was studying to be say a realtor i would not want anyone to know. One day, I know, my face will be plastered somewhere, like a bus stop bench, and I would not want my past to haunt me.  
   
 But if it was something that I would be hidden in, hard to find, not so public, can I talk about it?  
   
 What are some of the pros and cons if I decide to do that? I personally don't see anything wrong with it, but people can be creative and find ways to 'out' or haunt me if they so desire. Sometimes because they got mad they couldn't get an appointment (in that case they couldn't be sure it was me having never seen my face, but can speculate just the same and cast doubt) or just because they are one of those people who can't keep quiet when they have a secret no one else has. Input is much appreciated before I go opening my big mouth :)

Real estate seems to be the go to career for retiered escorts it seems.I'm currently in school for real estate and personally due to my quality of clients I personally wouldn't mind if they knew about what I was going to school for ,I see it a's a networking oportunity if talked about with the right guy.

Now that you mention it, real estate does involve salesmanship, good people skills, ... ways to make blemishes disappear or turn them into positives :-)   I looked at your ad and I do like your real estate!

One thing I haven't seen in a RE ad is "1000% REAL estate. It's me or it's free!"  

A retired engineer probably would not be a good in RE sales. "Here we are. You'll love this place. Although, the roof line looks a little crooked from here. That could be a rotted beam and that will cost a lot to fix. But the plumbing is probably good ... except for that rust stain along the walkway. Looks like a subterranean leak. They'll probably have to dig up the whole lawn to find it. But you'll LOVE this place!"

Posted By: Seductivekelly
Real estate seems to be the go to career for retiered escorts it seems.I'm currently in school for real estate and personally due to my quality of clients I personally wouldn't mind if they knew about what I was going to school for ,I see it a's a networking oportunity if talked about with the right guy.  
Good luck with the school work and your future career in RE.  Once established, you could probably give advice to Providers in your area about how not to squander their earnings but to invest it in property that you can teach them how to buy and then sell it to them.

If there is no good reason to share personal information with a client, then don't.  Don't worry so much about being considered aloof.  I've known one provider for about 6 years and hardly know any of her life story, but she is a fantastic provider so I don't mind at all.

Don't be a person who digs their grave with their tongue

Posted By: mrfisher
If there is no good reason to share personal information with a client, then don't.  Don't worry so much about being considered aloof.  I've known one provider for about 6 years and hardly know any of her life story, but she is a fantastic provider so I don't mind at all.  
   
 Don't be a person who digs their grave with their tongue.  
   
 
Good point don't be a person who dig their grave with their tongue.No one can run from their past.Doesn't matter if you go to school or legit job you work in illegal business.Watch putting your face out there in illegal business. Telling whole world your prostitute.F****** sugar coated words in the business..Pay to play.To much personal information paid session is wrong.

Then if you ask, "What do you do?" And you get a short answer, follow it up with, "What did you do before that?"

Get the clients to talk about themselves. First, it's flattering that you are interested, and second, they'll only want to follow that line of conversation so far before changing the topic

So if you're concerned about you past coming back to haunt you make up a life to tell people until you know them well enough to be sure that have discretion. Nothing wrong with not telling others the truth while giving the impression of a trusting interaction.

Posted By: MmmMelanie
This question is for the guys and girls of TER. (cuz more heads are better than one)  
   
 Conversations take place in the session. You can't get around it. What I want to know is if I am talking about why I'm not available so often (when asked), reason would be school. Now I know if I was studying to be say a realtor i would not want anyone to know. One day, I know, my face will be plastered somewhere, like a bus stop bench, and I would not want my past to haunt me.  
   
 But if it was something that I would be hidden in, hard to find, not so public, can I talk about it?  
   
 What are some of the pros and cons if I decide to do that? I personally don't see anything wrong with it, but people can be creative and find ways to 'out' or haunt me if they so desire. Sometimes because they got mad they couldn't get an appointment (in that case they couldn't be sure it was me having never seen my face, but can speculate just the same and cast doubt) or just because they are one of those people who can't keep quiet when they have a secret no one else has. Input is much appreciated before I go opening my big mouth :)

degree in business. I have not decided on any specific major. I am from a small mid-western town and looking to expand my horizons with travel during breaks from school.

ROGM520 reads

The more I see a provider the more I get to know about her. Why? Because she tells me things about her life and what's going on currently. I never ever ask about her life and her problems. She just tells me. Call it a trust factor they have with me.

From this perspective because the longer you're with a client, the more intimate and relaxed you become and the more you forget you're on a booking with a client and it starts to feel like a proper date, and it can be difficult to keep the conversation light and not too in depth and full of personal detail.

I had an overnight booking last night with a delightful gent who is a relative newbie to this world and within an hour of our meeting he was showing me family photos on his phone and telling me detailed stuff about them, and whilst it was endearing I also had to warn him that being quite so free with very personal information could possibly backfire on him in the wrong booking. Not all escorts are good people anymore than all gents, and one does have to protect oneself.

That's said it's also nice for a booking to flow well and easy conversation can't be had if you're treading on eggshells and watching what you say all the time.
Play things by ear and use your judgement in each situation and have fun! X

I hear secrets all the time from my patients )and at times co workers) and would never think of revealing anything.  Many of the secrets are sexual i.e. man seeing providers and his wife does not suspect; woman married to a man who is slipping either physically or mentally and she is having an affair.  I do not share my extra curricular activities with friends, even my closest friends at work who confess their marriage secrets to me, or --of course--patients but I would never say a word since part of my professional life is letting nothing slip. (Daughter is worried about POP. I can't talk to her about it without Pop's permission unless she has power of attorney.)
Anything I hear during a hobby visit would never be repeated. (Who would I tell?)
Years ago, I saw a provider two or three times.  Three months later she was introduced to me as the new head nurse of the geriatric floor of the University Hospital where I worked and neither us so much a blinked an eye. Nothing ever happened not work related after that, but I always did feel we had a special respect for each other during the years we worked together.  
I sympathize with the extra care you need to take to protect your future. .

I have not been bit...only one client got a little too involved and followed me to work to see if I was truly there.  Take care not to give too much detail that that can happen.  Not that he hurt me btw...it was his jealousy that I might have been lieing to him.  I feel my time is my time...no need to lie, but no requirement to be specific at all.

I know which town she lives in, but not her address.  I know about her family, but not where they live.  She tells me stories about quirky clients, but no names are mentioned.

I'm big into transparency. I don't like lying and it's taken time for me to find the balance between sharing and over-sharing.  

One of my earliest clients ended up being a stalker - texting me from different burner numbers, asking me if I'd enjoyed the clubs I was in in high school (I didn't tell him this - he found it through google), saying he loved my HS yearbook picture. All because I told him my real first name and the town I was from. Big mistake on my part. He ended up knowing where I worked and emailed the investor in the company about me.  

99% of clients I meet wouldn't hurt a fly. 1% are batshit, certifiably insane. It's hard to tell the difference in the moment.  

I am purposefully vague now in my answers. I try to answer questions with answers that don't require follow up (I'm a teacher=oh where? Versus I'm in education).  Try to run through questions in your head and come up with pat responses so you're more prepared.  

Good luck!

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