Hi Folks:

I asked the SAME question a few weeks back of the ladies about "what kind" of references
were desired. No answer ever received on the board.

Some ladies that I had contacted earlier wanted the same information in the form of
"what other ladies have you been with?" Presumably, they were going to contact them.

The lack of references have usually resulted in the ladies not being further interested.
This of course, doesn't help their business, and it leaves us (guys) once again, empty
handed. Dilemma....

The problem is, as a newbie to the hobby, I have had no previous references (encounters)
to pass on. So, no LADIES to offer up to other ladies. As I am RETIRED, there are no work
references either, more so, since I have been retired for a few years now.

Like most guys, this business is one of "discretion", so I am unwilling to give out too
much personal information, beyond perhaps a telephone or online/email interview. Not
only do we (guys) have to keep secret what we are doing from our wives, but also
we need to keep it from our employers and people and associates that know us.....

So ladies, once more, what is acceptable as a "reference" to you given the above????
What do you want to know? How can we satisfy this requirement? Please do tell!
What other ways can we prove to you that we are not a threat or a danger to you?

All help in the form of replies is appreciated. I am sure most of us would like to
cooperate if only we knew what you needed or wanted.

Thank you!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

Posted By: wiremann58

I am a newbie, haven't taken the first plunge yet lol.  Most of the providers I am most interested in want references or verification.  Dont want to go the backpage route to get references but also leery of the verification if it involves work contact.  Help!!  Suggestions?  Normal guy work a lot, etc.  Would love some friendship and companionship.

Date Check and P411.  They are discreet screening services that you can use.  Yes, they do need to verify employment but they can do that discreetly.  For example they can say their are your insurance company verifying employment or something along those lines.  If you are retired they also have ways to verify you are who you say you are.  Read the information on their websites to get the screening details.

Now, there are some ladies who are newbie friendly who will screen you on their own.  I went this route when I got started in the hobby. You'll have to follow their screening rules and possibly show ID when you arrive.  Again, a necessary route to help keep her safe and get you started in the hobby.

You have to remember, it's a risk both parties take in this hobby.  You need to do your research on reputable ladies and she needs to be able to verify you are who you say you are.  References also give her a chance to see what type of hobbyist you are since we do not have reviews.

Good luck to you!

We all started once.  My "first" verified me easily thru linked in and Facebook and the like.  Just to ensure I was who I said I was.  Find a gal (better to find an experinced TER provider with many reviews).  Then just explain it to her.  It should be a non issue for the better providers.  I don't suggest using BP.  No reason to.

f you don't have references most of us are going to want some kind of personal information. Exactly what depends on the lady, it could be employment info, fb page or some other social media, linkedin, some want addresses and more.  
Its basically enough info to know that you are who you say you are and you have no bad intentions.  

There are newbie friendly ladies who have reviews and enough people to vouch for them that you can feel comfortable giving them your info. 99% of us have no care to do anything negative w the info, we just want to make sure we are safe. If you do your research you have no need to worry.

Unfortunately at some point your either going to have to give out some info or take your chances with a bp girl that doesn't screen.  
It can be frustrating getting started, but once you get a few OK's on a verification site life will be much easier

I know it's a dilema but you are risking a lot by doing so. Other posters have given some good alternatives.  Just be careful or you could be very sorry.

I was in your shoes once back when I started in this hobby. A workaholic who didn't want to give out information in fear of co-workers and those close around me raising an eyebrow. I started out VIA the backpage route. Yes, some people may frown upon it, but there are several "Diamonds In The Rough" to put it in regards to backpage girls. It took me over a year to pull the trigger to contact a provider who required a reference from another provider. I can say I was lucky as hell when I booked with her because I had recently seen three well reviewed providers who use Backpage as an advertising tool. The first girl I saw (who is unfortunately no longer providing) actually offered to be a reference without me asking. She also directed me to joining Date-check and had me verified within a day of signing up. The other two I saw were the exact same in this manner. Neither of them ever asked for work information nor asked me any additional personal/private information that would put me at risk to be discovered as a hobbyist by those close to me.I can't say that you'll be as lucky as me, but there's not too much to worry about. Just only give providers enough information that you feel sharing with them. Some girls do not require much information, others go the whole nine yards. Just go with what your gut tells you.

I don't feel like fighting today.

Posted By: wiremann58

I am a newbie, haven't taken the first plunge yet lol.  Most of the providers I am most interested in want references or verification.  Dont want to go the backpage route to get references but also leery of the verification if it involves work contact.  Help!!  Suggestions?  Normal guy work a lot, etc.  Would love some friendship and companionship.

Newbies are people too...gotta start somewhere

It is hard to get started in the hobby...I started on BP too when I was curious to try out the life style.  That now scares me half to death, but I know many reputable ladies out there who still use it as a tool to meet new friends.  Although I prefer the full screening like any lady in our position would, I also know that discretion and new interest can interfere with that.  Try to find a provider that is open minded in their ads, profiles, or when you PM them on site.  I prefer the first introduction from someone like that...and yes, P411 and date check really are helpful to you as you have less wait time and giving the same info over and over.  Once you get a reviewed provider or two under your belt (so to speak), you should be fine.  Please remember that not all providers offer reference checks- when I do, I like to be told in advance who is going to be contacting me and for what purpose.  Having a random person emailing me and asking me to verify a random man that I offered complete privacy to is dissettling.