Carolinas

Am I over thinking it?
Leon3798 52 Reviews 808 reads
posted

So I got back earlier today from a great date with a regular lady I love to see.  Mature, hot and everything I love.  We talk alot before and after the awesome happy time.  Im not an expert on her, but I know alot about her.  Likes, dislikes (outside of intimate things) what she wants out of life etc.  So everything goes great we're both relaxing on the bed after cleanup and finally its time for me to take my leave.  So we exchange the normal pleasantries and how we cant wait to see each other again.  I get halfway down the road and realize the donation was still in my pocket!  So flip a U turn and head back.  I get to her door and she answers.  I hand it to her and say "Im so sorry, just forgot"  She takes it and says "You didnt have to turn around I wasnt worried about it" and smiled.  Now in those seconds something happened.  My first thoughts were "she knows Im a good guy and wouldnt leave her high and dry" +1 "Wow she didnt care about the donation?" +10  Totally went up some levels on my cool bar, but the smile caught my eye.  Ive seen her smile before, actual laughs and full mouth smiles etc.  This was different, there was a sparkle in her eye.  Im not a woman expert and Im still pretty young but I know the "I like you" look.  Not the one you paste on your face when you walk away the one you get when you look over your shoulder at your GF before walking out and you both smile.  Im torn between was she simply taken aback I turned around instead of chalking it up to good luck or is she starting to like me?  Or did the former lead to the latter?  Im an over thinker by nature.  It makes me very good at my job, not to mention decent sums of money, but I know that I know I saw that look and that turned my brain cells from sex euphoria to hey what was that, and the wheels turned on.

I'm not a woman so I will leave that part of the analysis alone for the most part, lol. I ask you though, what would you want to come from it if indeed it was a genuine "I like you" smile and feeling? The answer to that question depending on what it is, could quickly stop your brain from wondering about it ;)

I've seen what you speak of in a few ladies concerning the donation and I really don't know where it comes from. A lady Ive seen before recently walked out and totally forgot it but I didn't! She wasn't all that oh shit I forgot that when I reminded her as well but I know she wanted it, lol. If she has seen you before as you speak and is comfortable with you, then she probably does trust your honor regarding it and no big deal. Handle next time. I try to be very upfront about it though and not leave it to the last minute if possible. I understand how that might be lost however, if there is a certain comfort level from multiple visits with each other.

I would suggest to stop thinking about whether it was a look of I like you or something more. Slippery Slope and not the good kind. Ok. I'm going to stop now!! Lol

Thats a good point.  Im not looking for anything that would turn out to be a GF or mate or anything like that so I guess it doesnt matter.  

Posted By: HectorBlack
I'm not a woman so I will leave that part of the analysis alone for the most part, lol. I ask you though, what would you want to come from it if indeed it was a genuine "I like you" smile and feeling? The answer to that question depending on what it is, could quickly stop your brain from wondering about it ;)  
   
 I've seen what you speak of in a few ladies concerning the donation and I really don't know where it comes from. A lady Ive seen before recently walked out and totally forgot it but I didn't! She wasn't all that oh shit I forgot that when I reminded her as well but I know she wanted it, lol. If she has seen you before as you speak and is comfortable with you, then she probably does trust your honor regarding it and no big deal. Handle next time. I try to be very upfront about it though and not leave it to the last minute if possible. I understand how that might be lost however, if there is a certain comfort level from multiple visits with each other.  
   
 I would suggest to stop thinking about whether it was a look of I like you or something more. Slippery Slope and not the good kind. Ok. I'm going to stop now!! Lol

Don't beat yourself up about thinking it though. It is natural. Especially if you are a man who doesn't just see women as objects, even in this hobby world. Most women I know, stable that is just do not think like that. They think about everything. All variables, two to three steps ahead and so on if you can understand how I think that applies here. They hardly ever forget a situation for what it is. I am not saying that it is totally impossible she couldn't really like you like that in this environment and no one can but man, just off of a few meetings in this environment. I seriously doubt it. Lets say 10 meetings of 2 hour time on average to exaggerate for the purpose of a conservative analysis. Whats that? Around 10 hours of actual conservation and that's probably a stretch. No, no, no! And if so, I would kind of be concerned about the lady to be honest because it's still in this environment. Many of us men can get lost in the moment like that in all walks of life including this one I'm sure. Not any ladies Ive met who are serious about Life. Again, the stable ones and if that is deemed offensive, Ha! Its the Truth from my viewpoint. Unstable ladies, well, anything is possible and again, Slippery Slope into damn I wish I could go back and look at this differently, lol. Of course, there are many many unstable men as well. Just to keep it even gender wise for the consumed with their gender and the simple-minded :) Plus you don't want to mess up a good stable companion relationship because you let those thoughts supersede.

Good you figured out things on your end and exactly, therefore it doesn't matter! If we handle our minds first, there is no need to speculate on what another is thinking or feeling like that. It was partly your ego I would think that made you over think but we all have them. Men and Women alike. No need to act like we do not. We are suppose to. Helps with Surviving :)

Take care Leon.

Believe me the sparkle in her eye was not because she is in love with you it's because you drove so far to bring her bucks
Ha  

 
Sounds to me like you are wishful thinking

-- Modified on 2/12/2015 5:48:31 PM

I just figured the sparkle was from her trying to remember his name, Larry? Luke? LEO? MOE? CURLEY? Fuck it I'll just call him "Babe". LOL

Posted By: Sexy Carolina
Believe me the sparkle in her eye was not because she is in love with you it's because you drove so far to bring her bucks  
 Ha  
   
   
 Sounds to me like you are wishful thinking

-- Modified on 2/12/2015 5:48:31 PM

If she is any kind of professional it was not a "I want more" smile.  
It was most likely a " yes I know your a good guy " smile.  
Getting too deep into thought about all this stuff will just ruin a good thing.  
Leave it alone.

she knows you and trusts you, as you trust her. You validated her trust and she was happy. Big smiles all around. Don't over think and mess it up. She may ENJOY your company, but she NEEDS the support your "donation" provides. Enjoy your time with her, continue to respect her, and don't push boundaries.

The fact that you showed concern speaks volumes about you and your integrity.  My date and I got caught up in conversation from the moment he arrived and neither of us noticed until after he'd departed.  He's always prompt, respectful and a pleasure to meet. I was actually less concerned than he was because I knew it was an honest mistake and ripping me off would be out of character for him.  That smile probably meant "I know you're a good person and I appreciate you holding up your end."

I was saddened a bit by all the responses. Even though the OP questioned the beginning of a fantasy on his part that a companionable woman's smile may have meant something akin to "I like you", the low likelihood that it meant something romantic doesn't mean that it was meaningless. As hard as it may be to believe, providers and customers are not the only ones whose business relationship requires appropriate boundaries, yet non-business relationships frequently grow out of such "limited" business situations. For example, hundreds of millions of Americans go to work every day with members of the opposite sex (and their own sex) and deal with feelings, desires and fantasies that involve persons who are "off-limits" due to employer-employee status. I know my job would be a lot less fun to go to if it wasn't for personal relationships with folks who I work with and supervise, likewise with clients,  vendors and others who would be completely inappropriate for me to have a romantic relationship with. Yet that is not a reason to write off our feelings for each other as imagined because its just business.

There are some providers (not on TER, of course) who think of themselves as selling  and customers ( not on TER , of course) who think of themselves as buyers of access to another another person's  body for physical gratification. The great majority  of folks  (maybe even some on TER) are in the business of fantasy /entertainment . It's a fantasy that requires certain boundaries, emotionally and otherwise) but that really isn't all that different from others who market or consume entertainment. Action movie stars are actors, not mercenaries; they are not the character they portray.  Moviegoers are folks seeking some entertainment, free of distraction,  that takes them away from their own lives for 100 minutes; they are not ghouls, etc.  The only difference is one of degree. The fantasy world of TER involves letting down a lot of boundaries  which in exchange requires thicker walls around those things that remain "off limits".  When the fantasy is over, the clothes go back on, the actors part company  and the walls can come down.  

So when Leon turned around from "halfway down the road" and came back with that supposedly all-important envelope,  they met under a somewhat different set of circumstances and rules . Leon turned around because it was important to him that he not be the kind of person who would take advantage of that sort of situation, especially to the disadvantage of someone who he has a relationship with that extends, within limits,  beyond naked gymnastics. She likely spent the time between his driving off and coming back up the drive dealing with the dozen different thoughts and feelings about the missing envelope, all the different permutations of should I or shouldn't I. So, for a moment in her doorway, she got to see a part of Leon that is so much more intimate than seeing him without clothes, and she smiled the smile that comes from within, the one Leon had never seen before and may never see again, a part of her that was so much less mercantile, so much more personal, than seeing her without clothes on. A moment of I SEE YOU.  

 It doesn't have to mean that she wanted to have babies and buy a place in Sarasota with Leon but if we cant celebrate those moments  rather than writing them off as having no meaning beyond that fucking envelope, then the planet is in bigger trouble than I thought. Or maybe this was all my fantasy .

the skill and patience to communicate my thoughts so well. There are many recent threads here and on the GD board that touch on one or another facet of relationships,(using the broad definition).
My friends choose me based on their own criteria, but I respond back based on how they treat me and others.
Thanks for your clarifying post

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