It's not lust if it's just one. Know how you feel, though. I had to make a choice between two for this week-end...it can be difficult, and it wasn't supposed to work that way when we first entered the game. But I am happy with seeing the lady I've known for over eight years...overnight planned, dinner, movie, and then back to her hotel or my place for... 
Just enjoy while you can...play it right, you might be still smiling years down the road.
or helplessly in lust. Man this is hard.
I think it's lust. Love ... ypu can get over especially if you've been in love IRL before and had that relationship end. I'd imagine most of us have been there.
But utterly in lust with a provider ... man, that's hard to shake. And I'm not that interested in doing so.
Id like to understand how that impacts guys inside of p4p. Money aside, for me lust is more difficult to manage. And I have no interest to cut off the hand that feeds me and my desires.
How do YOU handle that?
-- Modified on 10/21/2016 10:14:19 PM
😜JK. But honestly I think you made it sound harder than it is. I have a couple of friends who are escorts and in successful relationships. It's not hard. It requires more dedication and nurturing. It's probably harder on the guy for sure.
It is really just LUST. We get hooked on the endorphins we get from having hot sex with certain girls, and then we can't get enough of them. The problem for some guys is that they cross over to the dark side and fall in love. Then they're screwed. Being in a one-sided love match is the worst possible position and you open yourself up for all manner of hustle from an enterprising girl that realizes you have fallen for her.
For me, its easier to walk away from the Lust, because I know I will find a replacement. I've been doing this many years and every time I lose a regular and think to myself there is no way I can ever replace this girl, guess what? Within a few weeks, I am totally immersed in my lust for the next girl.
I had one instance of unrequited love on my part when I first started out, and the disaster that ensued cured me for good. Its better to let THEM fall in love with you. From a practical standpoint, it will rarely happen with providers (only twice for me), but it keeps the relationship on an equal footing where you are less likely to be taken advantage of or to jump off a bridge when it eventually ends for whatever reason.
12 years and I've had several neverending relationships. Still going strong or staying in tune with most, unless they retired or moved.
I still love the rush of meeting someone new. That'll never change unless someone snaps me up. AND THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. I'm lnow that on many levels. But knowing what I like and acting on it has never created this situation before.
I'm also balanced enough to understand the game, but it doesn't change the cravings I choose to exercise. Or exorcise?
In the interim, I've had several spectacular liaisons elsewhere that I haven't revisited and one that I have.
As simple as this all is, the little head and my endorphins make things harder than they have to be. If they only made me harder ... lol
Still interested in hearing other's like-kind experiences.
Do you think these ladies are schooled in the Art of Seduction?
Where's S2C when I need her ...lol. Or MK? Or B? Or JM? Or ... hey! Maybe I'm cured. Maybe I've been fine all along?
See me. Feel me. Touch me. Heal me ... man, I love rock and roll.
-- Modified on 10/22/2016 12:07:05 AM
Which is neither (romantic) love nor helpless lust. Probably the closest I can come for a label is "friends with benefits." That's what I strive for with providers. Someone who's like a good friend, who's lots of fun to hang out with and talk with (about anything), very comfortable with each other. Oh, and they'll have sex with me, and have fun doing it. If I love them, it's the love one has for a friend. There's gonna be some lust there too, but viewing these women as friends (with benefits!) helps me keep it under control.
I call it "friends with PAID benefits." It seems more accurate to me, an keeps things in perspective.
... such as there's money involved. If you want to be brutally accurate, you should say "PAID friends with PAID benefits." Although in a couple of cases I developed friendships with providers that transcended P4P.
and one I usually easily comply with. It just so happens I enjoy everything you describe a little more than usual with two women.
The travel gal is easier to manage ... lol
With enough money I believe your lust is a non issue. Love is your own mess to deal with.
With time and distance. Even sometimes closing the deal can derail lust. Love can fuck with even the perfect situation and is to be taken seriously.
I know a 35 yr old man who could have had weekly sex with a smoking hot 20 yr old college student nsa until she finished her masters but completely fucked it up by telling her he loved her, tried introducing her to his 8 yr old daughter.
Lust that can be fulfilled can be amazing. Love that can't will only lead to heartbreak. In this arena lust can most likely be fulfilled. Love? Honestly I won't tell you no chance but good luck.
Or at least being too far "in lust". A simple cure for being too far in lust with a hooker is too simply book her every couple of days until there is no "mystery" left. Most of the time lust will fade without going to such extremes. Case in point, I saw a little SB last week who I had a "very nice" time with, the next morning I went and saw a hooker, a cute little Thai spinner who completely knocked my socks off, so much I couldn't get her out of my mind for days. I saw the same SB Tuesday night, had a great time with her, but and then saw the Thai hooker the next day on Wednesday. The sex was great once again, but not so great that I found myself drooling over her for days. Most likely the next time I see her will be my last. The infatuation will have run it's course.
Love does happen here in Hookerland, but it is much more rare and I agree with CDL, it's much better to have a provider fall in love with you than vice versa. Every one of my most successful LTR with hooker GFs were when she was more in love with me than I was with her. Falling completely, totally and helplessly in love with a hooker is a sure fire recipe for heartbreak.
It's not lust if it's just one. Know how you feel, though. I had to make a choice between two for this week-end...it can be difficult, and it wasn't supposed to work that way when we first entered the game. But I am happy with seeing the lady I've known for over eight years...overnight planned, dinner, movie, and then back to her hotel or my place for... Just enjoy while you can...play it right, you might be still smiling years down the road.
Don't tell me that there is a pussy out there that you never got tired of fucking.
Lust? I'm not seeing a privider, unless I am in lust.
still going strong ... just not as often and not tired of her yet. If you only knew .... can't say I'll ever tire of her, but then again ... it's not a contest. We'll fuck like bunnies until our ears fall off I reckon.
Then we'll shake hands and ride off into the sunset I guess
If you are paying the same woman for eight years.
It should be free by now!
Utterly in lust? Enjoy the ride while it lasts! Surf's up!
Absolutely!!!
Enjoy this wave of Love and Lust
-While it Lasts.
there will be mor
and more and more and more ... not til I'm blind, but definitely
until I need glasses ... 👅
Absolutely!!!
Enjoy this wave of Love and Lust - While it Lasts.
there will be mor
I think it's lust. Love ... ypu can get over especially if you've been in love IRL before and had that relationship end. I'd imagine most of us have been there.
But utterly in lust with a provider ... man, that's hard to shake. And I'm not that interested in doing so.
Id like to understand how that impacts guys inside of p4p. Money aside, for me lust is more difficult to manage. And I have no interest to cut off the hand that feeds me and my desires.
How do YOU handle that?
-- Modified on 10/21/2016 10:14:19 PM
The ladies retire, and I get older every day. In both ways, the lust fades. Don't try to manage anything. Just enjoy the hell out of it while you can. Thinking about upcoming sessions with my lusty friends got me through many a tedious day at work. My co workers used to ask me why I had a far off look in my eyes, and a nasty smile on my face.
I fuck someone else
do you have the impression I don't ... for example, if I wanted anal and had a plane ticket to Atlanta, I'd be fucking ...... who?
Do I love and cherish some of my providers? Do I care about them deeply? Would I do anything within my power to help them in bad situations? Hell yeah...but I don't "own" them, and they don't "own" me. They don't have just one lover, and I'm not going to have just one lover. A rotation keeps us balanced.
always an option to chase the blues away when you lose a regular for whatever reason.
I was also asking how YOU handle(d) it. I know it's hard for some guys to admit certain things that they enjoy or similar situations
that they've been in.
I've enjoyed the company of 100+ women and one 100 times. And while I still see Miss 100 infrequently now, the sex is always supercharged and I'll never get tired of her. My living arrangement (with son) and her availability has limited our time together.
I also have a newer ATF that's the bomb. She's a traveling gal and I always see her 2-3 times per visit to Boston. So you might say I'm not short on experience.
So with all that in tow, my quandary is really, why know? lol
This one particularly "challenging" gal just seems to be the total package. Great actress too, sure. But this connection seems a bit more organic? A peferct storm? And yea, I understand the barriers and unlikelihood (impossibility actually) of anything more occurring.
It's more of a train off the tracks and time together that I enjoy on many more levels than I have before. In those 100s of times.
And yes, I'm still gonna ride that pony into the sunset ... until the race is over. that's an analogy... lol
-- Modified on 10/22/2016 9:15:16 AM
-- Modified on 10/22/2016 9:53:58 AM
Standard advice, continue to diversify. That's probably the most effective way to power through an obsession.
leave home kind of attached. As two of my favorites told me they were getting attached and no longer in the business, I wished them both well. I still hear from time to time for the one that left for Florida, particularly when she needs medical advice and I have not heart from the other one in Indiana. In any case i wished them both well and no separation pain or anxiety.
My real danger occurred when I fell madly in love with a friend with benefits and she with me. I finally had to cut it because i was ready to leave my wife, kids, grandkids etc.
This was hard because we are sitll both in love with each other and have not even had dinner together as that would be too painful.
The one crazy "love" I had was a deep lust and this one was easy. I used strong negative feedback to turn myself off of her and within a week or two every time we ran into each other I got a bit nauseated.
You can handle the even deepest lust disguised as love;it is the true love that risks to get you.
I think it's lust. Love ... ypu can get over especially if you've been in love IRL before and had that relationship end. I'd imagine most of us have been there.
But utterly in lust with a provider ... man, that's hard to shake. And I'm not that interested in doing so.
Id like to understand how that impacts guys inside of p4p. Money aside, for me lust is more difficult to manage. And I have no interest to cut off the hand that feeds me and my desires.
How do YOU handle that?
-- Modified on 10/21/2016 10:14:19 PM
... even trying to define 'lust', I say let's try and experiment and look at this question without using labels.
I prefer to think about this world as a spectrum of various degrees of closeness to another human being.
It can range from
1. 'an arms length transaction' which defines most of what we engage in, albeit as arms length transactions go, it's one of the best lol to
2. 'something more' and that 'more' is a sliding scale that is not worth trying to define, as labels may be convenient but they are nonetheless imprecise.
What I can comfortably say is that when both parties are at or about the same point along this spectrum -ie the same place somewhere between the most common 'paying for a hopefully great performance' and the rare but not impossible 'let's both leave life as we know it behind and become one' - is when things will be really really good for however many moments the parties remain at that same place along this spectrum.
I think it's lust. Love ... ypu can get over especially if you've been in love IRL before and had that relationship end. I'd imagine most of us have been there.
But utterly in lust with a provider ... man, that's hard to shake. And I'm not that interested in doing so.
Id like to understand how that impacts guys inside of p4p. Money aside, for me lust is more difficult to manage. And I have no interest to cut off the hand that feeds me and my desires.
How do YOU handle that?
-- Modified on 10/21/2016 10:14:19 PM