found this link posted on another board
-- Modified on 4/6/2004 7:29:54 AM
Very well written article with both the positives and negatives of being in the 'biz. I was impressed.
Perhaps, at pointing yet another finger at the worst, the bad, and the ugly...
We're all victims of rape or sexual abuse?
We're all emotionally unhealthy?
There had to be something "wrong" with a brilliant woman to be running an agency?
WTF???
I can't finish this crap... of course there are people in this industry who are unhealthy, but DAMMIT... there are people in EVERY industry who are unhealthy. There are people who have been sexually abused in every profession and walk of life that exists, and in ANY one of those you could say, "well, look how many factory workers have been sexually abused!" The message there is that abuse against our youth is RAMPANT in this country, not that it is isolated to this profession!!!!
I'm sorry, I just can't read another story about how sick, unhealthy, twisted, and abused I must be.
Best,
Tamara
but didn't want to go there because I had covered that in a thread a bit ago and it just got too crazy.
By the best I've ever read, I meant informative, interesting, honest, not clouded or edited by the media, etc..
I enjoyed following her life in the business.
In fact, it's YOUR points exactly that made me wish, in the first place, that something else could be written because MY story certainly isn't parrallel, and neither would be a few ladies here, and THOSE are what I would like to see more of.
And you know what? I believe we will..
I enjoyed the story, and I'm sure it describes one possible scenario. However, I know several very well adjusted women in the profession. Do I know there whole life story? No, but my dealings with them tell me they're comfortable with themselves.
I'll bet that not all men are honest with themselves when they consider their involvement in this activity. Someday I'd like to read a man's tale.
tennis
And say that MOST men are probably not honest with themselves about this hobby. But I do not "blame" them. I cannot sit in judgement over them. I think so many people are tied up in knots over what they feel they are "supposed" to be, think, say, make love to... that they hardly ever find out what they really want anyways, and then when they do they are suffused with guilt. You have to be able to really let go of what society tells you to embrace yourself and your sexuality before you can REALLY enjoy sex... either in this hobby or in a monogamous relationship... instead, as the 50% divorce rate shows (not to mention attendance on these boards), everyone is tied up in knots, confused, ashamed, unable to communicate, and just in general a mess over one...little... teensy word...
SEX.
Now, don't say "it's JUST sex," ever again... Sex is ANYTHING but "just"!
BTW, I do not deny anyone their right to tell their story... I just get tired of reading the same story over and over again.
Best,
Tamara
I've been thinking about this subject a lot today. In our society, men and women are taught a certain theory about sex and love. Many religions espouse the same beliefs. Many of us grow up equating love with sex. I think that's where we get hung up. It's hard to just enjoy sexual intimacy for it's own sake. That some form of compensation has changed hands may, or may not have any influence on the perceived value of the shared intimacy. The act of intimacy between two people can be wonderful and uniquely special. How the two people get to that point is not important; that they do is what matters. It has happened to me with providers. I believe some of them experience the same thing.
Guilt is a powerful concept, and I know it gets in the way. I wish I understood it better, but if it can be put aside, perhaps we all could deal with some of the issues that come up here.
Just more of my opinion.
tennis
Wow that was informative reading.
"An arrest in your past is extremely hard to overcome, even 20 years later. People will overlook most misdemeanors, but not a prostitution charge, because it involves sex. And if you've been arrested for felony prostitution, you have to register as a sex offender like a rapist or child molester. The stigma for something as victimless as prostitution is worse than murder in some ways. People will hold it against you forever. That's one reason it's so hard to get out. "
Thats a very good point that never occured to me before.
Yes but consider...it's not the BUSINESS of prostitution that makes the victim...it's LE that often makes the victim
The woman if she doesn't have to fear being arrested would not necessarily become a victim
And all the other pitfalls that admittedly exist might be very well much less or almost non-existant if the women in this business had access to the protections any other woman not in the business can get as a matter of course without risking arrest themselves for coming forward
and I'd rather not guess what you mean.
It really makes me think about what we are all doing.
It shows the varaition of the biz and the importance of the internet.
Someone should contact the author and let her know that this thread is so positive about her work. There are so many "scare stories" about the "horrors" of this "evil curse on society" that she deserves some plaudits.
-- Modified on 4/6/2004 7:16:51 PM
sure gives one something to think about. I recently contacted an attractive provider tenatively setting up a meeting when I am visiting there. Now I feel a little quilty about the arrangement since age wise we are miles apart.