Carolinas

May I make a suggestion?
Tabu See my TER Reviews 527 reads
posted

You may not want to hear this, but I can speak from literally years of experience in swinging and p4p.

There are many things wrong with this scenario as you've described it.

Newbies at their first swing party are notoriously awkward and unsure. So here you would be, with a lady you've just met... And she is there not because she's interested in you, or in swinging, but because she needs a paycheck.  

I'm all for trying new things. I love the great times I've had in a swing environment. But it took me years before I agreed to take a paying client into a swing party.

There are many social protocols and pitfalls when it comes to navigating a group event. I would hate to see you spend good money (although $400 is hardly fair for 4-6 hours of a lady's company) only to find that you, she, or both of you feel that this event may not be for you.  

If you have a civvie friend you could invite, I'd recommend that.  

Just some thoughts from an old hand at group fun.

 

 


-- Modified on 2/3/2015 5:33:16 PM

nick80849 reads

Long time reader, first time poster. I am wondering if anyone might want to accompany me to my friends party. They will have this get together that has a reputation for getting pretty crazy. With everyone swapping and swinging by the end of the night. I have never gone to this party, but I have always wanted to. I would like to first take you to dinner, hang out and chat so we can get to know each other. Later head to the party and see where the night takes us. In total we could be hanging out for 4-6hrs. And as much as it pains me to bring up, I have to keep this event within a budget of around "CD". If this sounds fun to you, please send me a PM or reply here. I look forward to meeting you!

-- Modified on 2/3/2015 11:15:06 AM

I can't imagine a lot of takers for a full evening at only four bones, especially with someone she's never met going into a situation she's unfamiliar with. I know you probably don't mean it this way, but it sounds like an invitation to her worst gang-rape nightmare.

nick80526 reads

One of the ladies I seen loved the idea. But she was not sure if she would be in town for the party. I can see where you are coming from on your other points. I never occurred to me, but that is why I posted it here as a question. I figured I might as well ask, and see what the response was. I could provide references if needed. I am a bit shy and I love meeting people I can connect with on personal level.

+1 on the 4 "bones". Time is time after all, and a 4 to 6 hour gig for 400 is pretty short IMO.

Posted By: cocktail-party
I can't imagine a lot of takers for a full evening at only four bones, especially with someone she's never met going into a situation she's unfamiliar with. I know you probably don't mean it this way, but it sounds like an invitation to her worst gang-rape nightmare.

While at the party she is not expected to swap with anyone else.  Nor would she be expected to touch you after someone else did - so you could fly your freak flag but would need to wash before she played with you again.

If you two did play at the party, would she be comfortable doing so in front of others, or would you need to find some privacy.
If she gets freaked/weirded out then what's the signal to leave, or can she drive separately.
What's the deal on pictures and names; does she have to worry about those?
What if someone wants to hire her, would you be okay with that assuming she was?

I'm assuming that getting group freaky (in a good way!) takes open, honest communication beforehand, and may require some aftercare once the evening has wound down.  Never done it myself so can't speak from experience.  Good luck with it though!

You may not want to hear this, but I can speak from literally years of experience in swinging and p4p.

There are many things wrong with this scenario as you've described it.

Newbies at their first swing party are notoriously awkward and unsure. So here you would be, with a lady you've just met... And she is there not because she's interested in you, or in swinging, but because she needs a paycheck.  

I'm all for trying new things. I love the great times I've had in a swing environment. But it took me years before I agreed to take a paying client into a swing party.

There are many social protocols and pitfalls when it comes to navigating a group event. I would hate to see you spend good money (although $400 is hardly fair for 4-6 hours of a lady's company) only to find that you, she, or both of you feel that this event may not be for you.  

If you have a civvie friend you could invite, I'd recommend that.  

Just some thoughts from an old hand at group fun.

 

 


-- Modified on 2/3/2015 5:33:16 PM

I am a little late on this one - but I will post anyway in case it helps.  I was a swinger for many years and Tabu is right on point about how awkward these situations can be for a newbie.  One of the most awkward situations for a newbie is that some guy takes your date to a back bedroom while his spouse/SO hangs out in the kitchen drinking and talking with others with no intention whatsoever of participating.  So there you are ..... all dressed up for the party and no one to party with.  You may find its your lady that gets laid - and you just get to hang out.  It happens a lot - especially at private house parties with 6-8 or more couples where not everyone is known to everyone else and a non-participating spouse is less obvious compared to a party with one or two other couples.  My wife and I had an iron-clad rule - we both participated or neither of us participated.  (We actually never liked larger parties of more than 4 couples in the first place.)

I'd suggest perhaps an agreement with a "civvie" date where you let her decide if both of you will participate in the swapping (or not) at this party with the alternative being that just the two of you get it on in a group setting as a first step into the lifestyle

nick80396 reads

I think I will take the advice that everyone has given me here and pass on the party. Thank you to everyone that has posted their advice and experiences. I don't drink so I don't go out much, I was excited for party, but way too many pitfalls. Looks like another weekend hanging out with Netflix.

Register Now!