I was married to a woman who proudly called herself a bitch, and so I'm accustomed to taking stuff most guys would not.
After a few meh experiences with providers, I found my favorite. She was everything I was looking for, except that she was inconsiderate. She was always at least an hour late. She would forget about appointments made well in advance, and when I'd email her a few days before, she would often remember some other thing she had to do. Each time I'd get pissed off, and I'd see someone else the next time. But none of the other providers measured up. Finally, she pulled one of her usual stunts, and I just told myself that she had no respect for me as a customer, and would never change. I stopped calling her early this year. It's a damn shame. I had some really great times.with your ATF? ( I use this term loosely. we all get the idea of what it is supposed to mean)
Guys, of all the ATF's you've had over the years did you ever know the exact moment or appointment when you knew it would be the last time you'd see her
As a matter of fact. But then you go into discovery mode, and you get to see a dozen new girls looking for the next one.
I have had a lot of "favorites" women I just can't get enough of for a few weeks or months, about half the time I simply tire of them and I simply call them less and less until I quit calling altogether with the other half there is a defining moment when I know I am done with them.
It's funny, I have been doing the exact same thing in the Sugar Bowl. I guess it must be a character flaw of mine.
and sometimes it takes a couple of dozen new girls looking for the next one. NEXT. lol
from EITHER side.
So what would be the longest time `you could see the same person?
I would prefer a longer "run" with one lady with less frequent visits than for.ex. 10 times in 3 months
99% of the time I see a lady, I know almost the minute I walk in the room, I'll never come back again. However, with atfs, it's completely the opposite. With all my atfs, I've never known any given session would be the last. I suppose if an atf started taking you for granted, and treating you differently than all the previous wonderful times, you'd know it was over. That's never happened to me. Every atf session that turned out to be the last was off the charts, without a hint of it being the last. With me, it was other things that ended our atf relationships. The vast majority of the time the ladies retired. A few moved too far away. Sometimes it was me having to change my hobby patterns that kept us apart. I still see one of my old atfs, but in a different, legal, capacity. The one thing I appreciate, is that with my all time favorite atfs, even though the final session had past unknowingly, we were able to trade sweet goodbyes via email.
a normal, honest answer. lol
Never been a fan of the "goodbye" email, message since it seems the P4P rules dictate just moving on but it's cool you had that opportunity.
I've only had one "ATF" and we never said goodbye or anything but I knew it was over on the last visit. It was demonstrably different than most other times as her disinterest was noticeable.
Unless the gal becomes dearly departed. (That has happened now a couple of times, in fact.)
There are gals I was certain I would see for many years to come, who then suddenly vanish into thin air.
Then there are others whom I'm sure never want to see me again but then, sometimes after a span of several years, contact me and it's fat city again with them. (Nothing in this whole wonderful world beats make-up sex, nothing!)
Then there are gals I am certain I never want to see again, but I end up contacting them anyways after a few months.*
One thing I've learned from this whole shebang: Always expect the unexpected
I suppose that is how both sides communicate. I request appointments and she accepts or vice versa. If you think about it no other actions are necessary.
There are gals I was certain I would see for many years to come, who then suddenly vanish into thin air.
Then there are others whom I'm sure never want to see me again but then, sometimes after a span of several years, contact me and it's fat city again with them. (Nothing in this whole wonderful world beats make-up sex, nothing!)
Then there are gals I am certain I never want to see again, but I end up contacting them anyways after a few months.*
One thing I've learned from this whole shebang: Always expect the unexpected.
"but then, sometimes after a span of several years, contact me and it's fat city again with them."
that after that much time has passed they contact you.
It's not awkward?
There are gals I was certain I would see for many years to come, who then suddenly vanish into thin air.
Then there are others whom I'm sure never want to see me again but then, sometimes after a span of several years, contact me and it's fat city again with them. (Nothing in this whole wonderful world beats make-up sex, nothing!)
Then there are gals I am certain I never want to see again, but I end up contacting them anyways after a few months.*
One thing I've learned from this whole shebang: Always expect the unexpected.
...and it's time for me to leave. I honestly can't answer your question. I struggle with this concept, as it implies to me some level of commitment and I don't like commitments, so I treat every time like it's the last time. That is, until the next time chance happens to have us cross paths again. Now, don't get me wrong, there are a few ladies who I like to think of as friends, and we keep in touch occasionally to catch up, but there is no expectation on either of our parts of any type of ongoing relationship
I tried that recently. I hadn't seen her in 6 months and wasn't sure If was still attracted to her so i asked for short appointment to "catch up" at her normal rate of course. she declined.
as to the non- commitment thing. yes that was my normal method after the newbie mistakes of my first year with shorter appointments and only a few visits before changing to another escort but i decided to try the ATF route.
I think i'm going back.
actually had a girl blow her nose on the top sheet of my bed once. I asked why the hell she did that, and she said she didn't want to "spoil the mood" by getting up and going to the bathroom. Go figure.
I just can't even...
When you figure out how to understand women, dude, come back and tell us all
I'm convinced women don't want men to communicate their feelings to them rather, women want to keep guessing what those feelings are.
With the well publicized closing of a popular NYC agency a few years back.
Then, she appeared as an indie and I was so thrilled at the prospect of seeing her again. But, arghh, I couldn't find my way to her city (she toured with the agency even though she lived in NYC). I travel a lot for business, but never to NY, so I would have to make it a leisure trip, this is not a problem but my busier than normal travel year, and that travel being in the polar opposite direction led me to make excuses as to not making time to see her. Now she is away from our life once again, she wrote me that if she comes back she'll let me know but part of me hopes that she has found Mr. Right (she is such a wonderful person that I wish her all the best).
If she does come back, I have promised myself that there won't be anymore excuses, I'll force my lazy ass to get to NY to see her, and the bonus of that is that I've met another wonderful woman to see there as well.
My soul has been touched a few times, and I consider myself a very lucky man.
Bring it haters, bring it strong because my resolve cannot be shaken on this matter.
yes, some people can't see genuine relationships- and I don't mean romantic- happening. Mostly, because it so rare and because the pages of ER are filled with delusional hobbyists.
I think people can sense when the hobbyist/client dynamic s different than most other encounters. I would say time is an important element. Neither party would stay in it for 3,4 years like some I've read about if there wasn't something there.
Obviously, you didn't care to see her that much if you blame it on laziness. Suddenly, you are resolved IF she comes back. You couldn't get off your lazy ass to go she her in NYC but somehow you have met another "wonderful woman" there?
I put up with a lot of drama from #1 Fav over the 6 years I saw her. After the first year it was a 3-4 fav gal rotation. But her drama was always aimed at others in her life. I almost walked a couple of times when the drama interrupted our time (but not paid yet) & she was clearly not alright with that. I wonder if it would have been different if I HAD already paid?
The last time, she was really stressed by something in her real life... should not have booked me (or anyone) if time was that tight. When I called to confirm as I was getting on the highway... as I always did (over an hour drive) she went off on me. I reassured her I was on the way.
I arrived & she went off on me again. I was barely in the door & she was steamed. I wanted to walk back out but I'd already promised I was coming for a session (on my first call) & I didn't want to be a liar. After she calmed down we did have a session (not the best) but did everything expected. The thing is if time was tight she wasted more by being witchy.
She knew she'd blown it... I normally left her a TY message when I got home... There was already a vague message in my hobbby email... but not an appology. I think I would have accepted an appology... But I'd been stewing all the way home... I don't need to pay to get bitched at. I knew I'd not be making the trip again.
Perhaps I am too cheap... by staying for the session. I always brought us a shared lunch. I could have put the lunch down, left the donation & walked out... that would have fulfilled my promises. It would have been interesting to see if I could have made it to the door. It would have told a lot about the kind of person she is (or isn't).
I've never had to go through that kind of drama form a provider It's something I definitely would not put up with it.
Even worse is when a hobbyist does it.
well I may not call these ATFs, but they're all escorts I had seen several times, sometimes over months or years.
1. Just got routine. She suddenly seemed mechanical, going through the motions.
2. A provider that always seemed low volume (was very good about my work schedule and my short notice changes) seemed to be not so low volume. She kept me waiting (not long) for the 1st time. She only wanted to do oral that time, and then we had a knock on the door because her next appt came early and she gave the room number. Also she got a boob job ( I really liked her natural look).
3. A normally chill girl that introduced me to UTR friend started trash talking her friend and bitching at me for not taking my shoes off at the door (this after several visits to her incall). Signs of creeping BSC.
All three seemed on the edge of escort burnout.
as in. All of the sudden no contact from you or her?
#1, no contact at all. She never had a review since.
#2, she let me know she was coming to town, but I made an excuse that I was busy. She delisted a few months later.
#3, After a few months, I actually texted for an appointment, then had immediate remorse and followed up with a "sorry something came up" text a short time later. She's still listed, but some of her websites went down. No ads, no reviews.
Like I said in my first post, I think they were all burning out
My ATFs have either retired and some went UTR and stopped providing, so I've never gotten to the point where I felt our time was over.
Although, some things that might end things with an ATF is if she started creating too much drama or our sessions started becoming boring and no longer fun
after 1 year, 2 years?
Nope, no timeframe. I was just speculating, since all of my ATF have retired before something like that ever happened. I've seen one ATF for close to 10 yrs before she retired and would have continued to see her if she was still providing.
wow! 10 years. good for you!
I was married to a woman who proudly called herself a bitch, and so I'm accustomed to taking stuff most guys would not.
After a few meh experiences with providers, I found my favorite. She was everything I was looking for, except that she was inconsiderate. She was always at least an hour late. She would forget about appointments made well in advance, and when I'd email her a few days before, she would often remember some other thing she had to do.
Each time I'd get pissed off, and I'd see someone else the next time. But none of the other providers measured up.
Finally, she pulled one of her usual stunts, and I just told myself that she had no respect for me as a customer, and would never change. I stopped calling her early this year. It's a damn shame. I had some really great times.
terested for sure. no brainer there.
She wasnt very good at hiding her personal info...
Some of my favorite providers are married. My ATF isn't married, but her relationship with her SO is as close as you can get to being married except for the license.
What will end it for me with my ATF is when she retires completely from this business (she's told me she may go UTR with select clients after she "retires" publically). But I hope and believe that our (platonic) friendship will continue.
Experiencing this right now. Long back story which I will not get into, but this does suck. I do think very highly of her and she is an amazing woman and we click. Saw her over 20 times, but when I am with her it's not always about sex, I just enjoy her company and we are not going to cross the line to be friends. I want to stay in touch, and I Want to enjoy her and her body. Entering a new area and not sure I like it.