A gentleman always arrives freshly showered.
Your shit brownies analogy reminds me of another old saying. "You can't take chicken shit and make chicken pie." While we're on the subject of rants: PSA to any providers with fuzzy memory. When you set an appointment, write it the fuck down.For the Love of Pete learn how to take a fucking shower. Do not spray Polo on your balls and think I can't smell the funk.
Why not just send him an email?
Sounds like he really likes you too!
A gentleman always arrives freshly showered.
Your shit brownies analogy reminds me of another old saying.
"You can't take chicken shit and make chicken pie."
While we're on the subject of rants: PSA to any providers with fuzzy memory. When you set an appointment, write it the fuck down.
who didn't like Polo, but of course, splashed on après douche.
If preaching to the choir makes you feel better, go for it sweety. But when are you girls going to figure out that when you ventilate on TER you are talking to the guys who already get it and are not part of the problem. The guys who show up with BO and dingleberries don't read this board.
Suggestion: just nicely ask your Johns to take a "quick rinse" on arrival. Put it in your web site. Problem solved. Then you won't have to come here and whine.
-- Modified on 10/2/2016 4:22:55 AM
The hobbyists who also whine in here about behaviors that are uncharacteristic of the ladies that post on and read these boards.
Suggestion: just nicely ask your Johns to take a "quick rinse" on arrival. Put it in your web site. Problem solved. Then you won't have to come here and whine.
I have politely asked some clients to take a shower before, and some I grab a towel to clean them up. There is always a nice way to go about things. And I take great care in my hygiene before and after an appointment, I expect everyone too. Clients and providers alike!
Thank you for choosing door number three. lol
Yes, being a TER member doesn't make a guy the perfect john, actually it sometimes seems to have the opposite effect as "some" TER members are a bit (or more than a bit) entitled kind of like Yelp reviewers on steroids. lol but yes there is a "nice" way to do things, thank you for choosing the nice way.
BTW, no one has accused me of being "nice" lately, but then again, I don't make my living at this, I can afford to be "not nice" much of the time. lol and although I am not "nice" I do try to be fair.
lipstick (I know sense of sight NOT sense of smell) on a pig but it will still be a pig."
Is that an old Gaelic saying? because, I've never heard that one. Slainte a luaidh
to realize that you needed to camouflage something with fancy smelling cologne is a pretty good sign that you weren't clueless, you were just lazy.
Unless you have really short arms and just couldn't reach down there to wash better. If your arms really are that short, maybe you should save your money for surgery and prosthetics instead of dates and Polo cologne. In the long run, you would get laid a lot more often for a lot less investment if you went with fixing the problem instead of trying to distract from it. That's how it works with everything else. YMMV, of course.
What the hell is wrong with some guys? Morons!
...they had a shitty/leaky butt after they scoot up on my crispy white sheets.
Sometimes it doesn't hit the air until it rubs the sheets. This one guy bless his heart his undies were even spotless when he took them off but when he got on the bed it was just a "lovely" long smear and the funk hit the air.
I always have a spare set or 2 of my own sheets (and at least 2 bottles of Febreze) when I have incall and needless to say he had to hit the shower again to clean his poopy butt.
The rest of him was so clean though....it's weird.
So....sometimes lack of shower isn't the issue but probably anal leakage too.
-- Modified on 10/2/2016 3:14:30 PM
I`m a male newbie and wondering if I would score points with my provider if I`m totally "landscaped" down below? I want to make a real good impression with this 8-9 rated gal that I`m seeing soon. Does this matter with you ladies?
Sounds like some of these dates you ladies have had would make for a good episode!
Or at least be ripe for a funny-as-hell parody!
What happened is a bit funny now but the memory is still a bit cringe and dry heave inducing.
A parody in this case might be a little traumatizing though lol.
-- Modified on 10/3/2016 10:33:27 AM
This day and age, I can't believe there are still people that don't realize how important it is to shower and have clean smelling balls before play time.. wow
But yea like Jake said, most likely it's guys that never read this board.
this one chick sat on my face so i can lick her pussy and then she was moving her hips back and forth so i can lick her pussy from top to bottom and one time got her ass crack to my face and BARFO rama!! smelled like something died!! almost puked and gagged that i just licked and smelled shit!!!
laides empty your bowels please before starting your work day!
Even when we're NOT doing Greek? That's a new one on me.
That's pretty time consuming, you know. I suppose I'll have to have a lil' chat with my bowels, because they're typically not in the habit of emptying on command.
Unless you somehow specifically communicate with the lady that you intend to DATO or TUYA or whatever....... I think expecting her to have that area completely vacant & clean is a bit unrealistic. 
I just don't feel like talking to a grown man like he is a child. I would hope someone would know to take care of their hygiene when booking a date, and I can't process why someone would not want to be clean when they are getting a piece of ass. smh
-- Modified on 10/2/2016 6:46:26 PM
What's worse than talking to a grown ass man like he is a child? (even if he is)
Talking to an entire board of men like they are children.
Threads like this really show which hookers like their jobs, and which ones can barely tolerate it, but do so because of the money.
Board posts are like TER scores, high scores won't entice me to see a provider, but low scores will disqualify her. Board personality alone will not get me to book with a woman I don't find attractive, but BSC or MHB behavior will DEFINITELY get a hooker on my "must miss list" as will constant whining about how much she dislikes her clients. Does anyone really want to fuck a hooker who hates her job and makes no secret that she detests her clients? Great marketing move ladies.
BTW I have PAID to see a few hookers over the years who also didn't know the first thing about personal hygiene, but to date I haven't felt the need to come on the board and whine to the whole community about how hookers don't know how to wash their twats. Like you, I simply make it my LAST date with that woman and "call it a day" Tomorrow is another day.
I am extremely fortunate to very rarely deal with this issue, and I believe this is because during the screening process, I can tell when someone is considerate of the current status in our "relationship".
Which, upon first contact, it is non existent until mutual respect is established. No idea how to explain the process, but I'm learning washing of the body parts you expect someone to ravish with hopeless abandon should be pleasant to put your mouth and nose on. That's simple respect.
I feel my posts are pretty cut and dry, pretty equal, and most definitely not aimed at every person reading them. They are just my input. And I am being honest - I tend to maintain long lasting, regular people who remain regulars because things like this is
Now, you say "I have PAID to see a few hookers over the years who also didn't know the first thing about personal hygiene" (a tad out of context but...) you know as well as anybody on this board, that having trouble with a few does not equate to the majority you have seen. You say a few, but we all know that you admit to having a very large sample to go by lol!
One reason I try not to "vent" about hygiene - is because I have very little problem with it with the people I see. This is not a bragging, or anything - it is very true - and I think a lot of that has to do with simple respect.
There are some issues such as health stuff that you know a "scent" is different than the lack of hygiene however, and that's not what I'm talking about. BUT - again, I don't deal with it, or bitch about it - I just simply am conveniently unavailable. I'm sorry - I'm not going to teach a grown man to wash his nut sack, I just can't bring myself to do it. lol
Talking to an entire board of men like they are children.
Threads like this really show which hookers like their jobs, and which ones can barely tolerate it, but do so because of the money.
Board posts are like TER scores, high scores won't entice me to see a provider, but low scores will disqualify her. Board personality alone will not get me to book with a woman I don't find attractive, but BSC or MHB behavior will DEFINITELY get a hooker on my "must miss list" as will constant whining about how much she dislikes her clients. Does anyone really want to fuck a hooker who hates her job and makes no secret that she detests her clients? Great marketing move ladies.
BTW I have PAID to see a few hookers over the years who also didn't know the first thing about personal hygiene, but to date I haven't felt the need to come on the board and whine to the whole community about how hookers don't know how to wash their twats. Like you, I simply make it my LAST date with that woman and "call it a day" Tomorrow is another day.
That just seems like an incredible waste of time and energy. Do some women REALLY think they can retrain a man who after 50+ years hasn't learned how to wash his own ass, especially when something as important as pussy is on the line?
and no, like you a "few" out of the number of hookers I have seen over 40+ plus years is hardly a "problem" It's kind of disgusting when it happens, but my cure is to leave early and find some other woman who is super squeaky clean and tastes that way to put the skank right out of my mind.
Why is it that "some" hookers, like "some" johns just seem to have huge problems whereas the rest of us seem to go about our business here, have a great time and rarely if ever run into the same problems that these other people seem to have on a daily basis? If so many of us do NOT run into these problems, wouldn't it make sense for these people who are having problems to look inward for the solution as it sounds like they are doing something to attract these kind of people if so many others never seem to have these very same problems.
Or I suppose, some people just like to whine on the internet. personally I have whiners and when a provider starts looking like a serial whiner, I lose all desire to schedule with her.
Not 100% sure why.
Is there good money in Georgia? Lol!!
specifically - but I like my job, and part of the reason for that is that guys wash their nut sacks. And if they don't it's only a one time deal. lol!
I would like to take this as an open door to say "Thank you guys, for washing your nut sacks, your butt cracks, and for making your body a non-hostile, and pleasant place to "work" lol!"
-- Modified on 10/3/2016 1:51:05 PM
Posts like yours are what makes guys WANT to come fuck you, Does anyone really read the rants by these whiny hookers and think to themselves "Yeah, I want me some of that whiny bitch!!!"??? lol
If I wanted to listen to some whiny bitch ranting about how horrible her customers are, I'd go get married again. And I can't imagine that the married guys who have a whiny bitch of their own waiting for them want some other bitch nagging at them too, especially not at several hundred bucks an hour.
My initial response was to put my spin on dealing with these men. They do exist. I remember di-"stink"-ly the day I decided I decided this problem was not going to be a part of my repoirtere. The guy showered but obviously didn't wash his butt crack. It just came out and he was asking me to lick his butthole. Which that was the day I decided rimming was off the mdnu. Lol!
It was so bad, it took me three days until I could work again. Three days of showers three times per day.
The guy was a last minute guy, middle of the night, and he shorted me a whole hours of pay. (I didn't count beforehand back in the day too)
I felt judgmental and bad for it until I counted the envelope. That was the day I realized it has to do with respect. And part of that is self respect. I.e. "You should accept me as I am" is disrespect to one's self. Which translates to disrespect to others.
But I definitely want to express that my intent isn't to rip on ppl who encounter this. I admire women who have that kind of patience. I do not have that kind of patience. But what you say is true. When it comes to attracting who we attract, it's on us. It's our responsibility to do what we need to do to eliminate clientele we don't want. And we can! Same with benefactors. (Love bugs).
I simply don't. This is the only place I get ass. Lol. Clean ass is good.
Definition of insanity is....
If I wanted to listen to some whiny bitch ranting about how horrible her customers are, I'd go get married again. And I can't imagine that the married guys who have a whiny bitch of their own waiting for them want some other bitch nagging at them too, especially not at several hundred bucks an hour.
I wash it all twice. Mileage tends to go up