...it's visualizing or imagining what comes next & what comes after that & by the time I have followed that trail to see all the potential problems & heartbreak I am able to get beyond the feelings that might hurt us both.
Have you guys ever had that happen to you? I have this particular client that I get butterflies in my stomach when he comes to visit me , I know that sounds silly but it's true ! I wouldn't say I am I love with him per say, but just reallyyyy attracted to him haha. The only bad thing is he might be married 
I didn't ask him, he doesn't have a ring on or nothing, but I just feel like he is married lol.
What about you ladies ? Have you ever falling in love with a client?
And for the gentleman, have you ever fell in love with an escort even though you know it won't work out?
friends! Seriously... I get butterflies often, have crushes often, fantasize often. But my boundaries always remain steadfast.
it's a whole lot easier for a guy to be attracted to the girl than vice versa.
i know it would never work, and i only see them as a paid FWB at most.
I treat all the ladies with passion and try to please them as much as they please me, hopefully making their job more enjoyable.
really though, what makes you attracted to him, considering the context of how you know each other?
deep conversations? the way he touches/fucks you? does he look like a studmuffin?
i think you should give him some otc time and ask him out.
It seems like about one out of every ten or twenty new women that I see "rock my world" to a enough of a degree that I start to think that "maybe" there is "something more" there. Of course we all know that simply can't be the case, but it's hard to tell yourself that at the time.
The solution? Go find out, I simply book her several more times over a relatively short period of time, usually that does the trick, after a couple, or sometimes a couple of dozen visits it usually burns itself out and you can chalk it up to simple infatuation. Now sometimes there really is something "more" there, but I bet you it's less than one percent of the time. Since even the more active whore mongers barely see even a hundred different hookers in their entire life, most of you are safe. Personally I have "fallen" for dozens of hookers over the years and in a few cases it was "real" but pig that I am, they ALL finally ran their course, but I am hardly the worse for wear, I loved every minute of it.
Usually the more you see and learn about a person the less infatuated you become, nothing like a nice big dose of reality to throw cold water on a fantasy, or a fantasy relationship.
But no, I have never had illusions that I am anything other than a good customer/perhaps friendly and loyal clientele. While I may prefer one or two ladies I have no illusions that they feel anything other than mild affection due to the nature of the biz. Even that may be feigned, but hey, its all illusion and entertainment no? I try to please my provider friends when.we get together, not only for them, but for me too. I love the power trip I get in my own skull when I make a woman cum. Even if she fakes it, as long as she is convincing enough we can fool ourselves into thinking that others care about us, it makes it easier to justify this lifestyle perhaps. I am speaking just for me. I know others have much different feelings and experiences.
After over a dozen years, more than a dozen friendships made, and some lost. Was/Am I attracted to them? Why would I see ladies multiple times if there weren't a mutual attraction?
i figure that for this experience to work really well, both parties have to "fall in love" with the other just a little bit on some level that can be easily be compartmentalized or even detached if needs be.
i am an actor by trade and i know how to access genuine emotions under artificial circumstances, which is basically the definition of the best acting. (second best acting would be to fool your audience in to thinking you are experiencing genuine emotions, when you are not. probably most providing falls under this category).
i've spoken with a couple of providers about this...i would guess (i told them) that for this to work for them, they would have to find something that they thought was attractive in their guest, and focus on that for the hour (and i would assume that most guys who can earn enough discretionary income to spend on an hour with a beautiful woman has some kind of talent for making money, and that should be enough to be attractive enough). my friends agree with me (but then again, they are providers, so agreeing with me is job number one. well, number two, after oral).
but all in all, it's a fantasy, like my acting jobs. it seems real, because it touches real emotions, but it's not real. we all play act all the time, as kids it was our main past time. we play act with our boss and with the public at large, pretending to be something we're not (happy, glad to see them, enthusiastic, etc) sometimes. providing, imo, would be just a professional extension of that ability.
the trick, as in acting, is to be in control of the emotions and not submerge yourself in them and let them overwhelm you. that's why i, as a client, will always rotate sessions with 2 or 3 favorites... just so i don't start becoming emotionally attached to one girl. as soon as that starts to happen, i see another, to remind me how wonderful they all are.
And when you're not "acting"...you're serving. Keep up the good work LO
have made an actual living at it for over 35 years... i'd be happy to bet you the difference between my best month ever and your best month ever for our respective job paychecks. mine was well into six figures, so, is it a bet?
I would say that the key is rotation. If you change up providers regularly then you end up having a proper perspective on how people are excellent actresses.
Nope. Id like to think I'd stop seeing someone immediately if that happened. Purely because I don't believe the feelings would go both ways, and I'm not so sure that's healthy in an escort/client relationship. I'm pretty average in most ways so can't see a provider getting that "feeling". I like slightly longer dates where we can meet at a bar or somewhere for drinks first. And there are a few women I've had a spectacular time with - and I think it's happened more because we could get to know each other just a bit more in a "normal" situation first. And some of these times have left me with much stronger feelings towards a woman than others. But love? Never. But I also take a long time to hit that point with anyone.
I didn't ask him, he doesn't have a ring on or nothing, but I just feel like he is married lol. What about you ladies ? Have you ever falling in love with a client?
And for the gentleman, have you ever fell in love with an escort even though you know it won't work out?
The worst is when they are in that category where you could never date them (they are married, much older and you want kids, etc), but you are really into them. Because you must confine your interactions to the hobby, they'll usually never know how much you liked them because any compliments can be viewed as acting.
I've carried a torch for fellow providers enough times to know not to ever consume wine around a crush again. :-0
from their comments here. You add value and offer little/no drama or vitriole. You my dear are a rare one and have a beautiful persona. This isn't flirting, it's a fact. It's interesting getting to know you based on you're position on things.
You're certainly not alone but you are in rare company
OK ... it is flirting ... a little bit, ok ... lol
You aren't fooling anybody. lol
you can pm me the pics ... along with dickweeds tax returns ....
i don't need reviews .... hottt ... of all people, you know I have ESP ... N
Not sure I can use fell in love, but I definitely fell for her. Had feelings and emotions I shod not have. Won't go into details, but it was difficult for me for a while. I had to take a few months away and clear my head. I have seen her since and we understand each other and respect one another. She is a great lady and while she holds a place in my heart and mind
I keep perspective and things are good.
I didn't ask him, he doesn't have a ring on or nothing, but I just feel like he is married lol. What about you ladies ? Have you ever falling in love with a client?
And for the gentleman, have you ever fell in love with an escort even though you know it won't work out?
....several of my ATFs over the years but always remembering the unwritten rules of the hobby about feelings for the providers,you may love them but only from afar.
I hear ya. Sometimes they show a little reciprocation. There are the 10 commandments of mongering. I will post later.
...so as much as I've adored most of my sessions, I have not and will never "fall" for a provider.
are two different things. I fall in lust nearly every time I visit an escort (or a strip club for that matter). If I'm not very attracted to an escort, I probably wouldn't book an appointment with her, and certainly not multiple times. But love? No. That's different.
That being said, I do occasionally get a little crush on some providers (and strippers) when they are both beautiful and have a good personality. Unavoidable in some ways - that's just how human hearts work, at least how mine does. When you're in a good fantasy GFE session, it's not always easy to fully switch off the suspension of disbelief even when the clock has struck midnight and you know deep down it's over. But I know that 99.99% of the time my little crush will wither and die if it hits the harsh light of reality. Usually, I just give the crushes a little time and they fade away like the harmless crushes they are. Most are gone within a day or two, or if not they'll be forgotten or blocked out when I see the next girl. After all, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
I noticed you said the "ONLY bad thing is he might be married" (emphasis in caps is mine). That's not the only thing. There is one other bad thing you seem to be overlooking - he is a client. In this asylum, the only inmates who are crazier than the providers are the clients. Seriously, if we are seeing you, we've probably got some issues. You may not see them within the confines of a 1-2 hour fantasy "date" in a hotel room, but go outside those boundaries and they may hit you like a Mack truck. As a general rule, don't feed the animals when you're at the zoo and don't fall for the clients when you're escorting. I will admit that there are exceptions, but they are RARE. Much more rare than the guys like to think, for sure.
Good luck
Can't agree more with you. Recently had an off the charts (IMO) GFE session with a provider and I have to admit I couldn't "switch" the feeling off immediately. I definitely got a crush on her when I left and the morning after feeling was a lot for me to take in since it was my first time getting such feeling toward a provider. But like you said, that little crush will wither and die eventually when the harsh reality hits. Would I become friend with her if we were met in a different circumstance? Absolutely, but unfortunately, that wasn't the case and we met in an unusual environment. Will I see her again? Sure, but I'll be more prepared walking into the door than I was the first time.
Yes, sweetie, it's THAT obvious.
First step is being honest with yourself.
Second step is attending JDU in the fall. We have a 98% success rate in curing this bizarre phenomena.
Don't fret though as you'll be sending that "Dear John" email in no time!
Thank you all for your great responds, I am just really confused now as of should I let him know that I feel something more for him then just escort/client friendship, or just try to get over it and maybe stop seeing him frequently.
Deep in my heart, I feel like Its not a realistic thing, it's not like I am going to tell him And he says he feels the same way and we Hold hands and run into the sunset. Haha can't hurt to fantasize
Stop seeing him at all or it just gets worse. gag can probably give you the odds of it working out.
but why a woman would want to fall in love and get into a "real" relationship with a proven liar and cheater never made a lot of sense to me.
I say the odds are long, VERY long. of this ever working. Not unless she can take the fact that most likely she will ALWAYS be the "other woman"
Now the odds of him jumping all over the opportunity for "freebies" those odds are MUCH, MUCH lower.
No. This is a business. He is paying you to not have to deal with drama. Also if he is married why would you subject yourself to that? You are only going to get hurt in the end. I think you need to just not see this client any longer. The next time he contacts for an appt either don't respond or tell him you have taken on too many clients and your not able to see him any more but you will give him a great reference.
and 10 boyfriend's later, get back to us ... muahhh.
If I were betting money on this, the safe money is on "hell no." That being said, no one on the board really knows you or him or the situation well enough to know for sure if this is the 99+% of times where this is an absolutely f-ing terrible idea or the less than 1% of the time where maybe it's worth taking a shot and seeing where it goes.
However, I (and we) can see some obvious red flags. For example, your profile seems to only have one review and indicate your age is early 20s. To me, that screams new girl making a rookie mistake. (I don't mean to be too harsh there, I've been a new guy making rookie mistakes before. We've all been there.) Also, you suspect this guy is married. Huge red flag. Another red flag is that it sounds to me like your attraction to him is purely physical/sexual. I may be misreading between the lines here, but if that is your only connection there are plenty of hot guys you could pursue that don't have all the baggage or risk that dating clients comes with.
You may want to ask yourself a few reality-check questions... How many times have you seen him? If the answer is not many or just a few, it's a huge red flag. Too soon. What is my connection to this guy? Is it just physical? If so it's probably just a crush. Learn to keep it in check & let it run its course or move on immediately. Is it something deeper? What exactly is it? What do you really have in common? Is it strong enough to keep something going? Is there a significant age gap between you? If so, red flag. That age gap is fine (and commonplace) in P4P, but it's a little more challenging in real dating. How well do you really know this guy? Do you have any idea what he is really like at work, at home, when he's out with friends? It's a little easier to be a knight in shining armor in a hotel room for an hour or two at a time. It's a lot harder to live up to that day after day in the real world. Do either or both of you have kids? I'm guessing by your age you don't, but if he does and you've never dated a guy with kids before, it's a lot harder than you might think. And if you don't even know if he's married or has any kids, again, how well do you really know this guy? That sounds like a more physical attraction and there are plenty of other hot guys for you to pursue. What's going on with you? Are you coming off a break-up or divorce or death in the family or any other emotional trauma? That would be a huge, huge red flag. Rebounding is part of a natural healing process, but it is probably not love. Is he going through something like that? (These are just rhetorical questions - no need to actually answer them on the board.)
What is this guy going to do if you say "I love you"? What do you realistically expect? Why are clients in P4P in the first place? To find a love connection? Eh, probably not. I think most clients, especially the married ones, would run away fast and hard. They want some fun and satisfaction on the side that their wives are not providing, not an affair or a whole lot of drama. Even a lot of the unmarried clients would likely run. They often want companionship from hot young girls without any of the hassle, work, or emotional risk/pain that comes with actually having a girlfriend. Of course, some may just jump all over a chance for some freebie sessions, but I don't think your goal is to be taken advantage of. Granted, there is a huge range of guys that are clients and their reasons for being in the room with you are all over the map. We are all special f-ing snowflakes. But it's important to understand at least a little bit of where this guy fits into that range. Why did he start seeing you? What's his situation? If you don't know the answer to that, it's another huge red flag. If you do know the answer, it may shed some light on what to expect.
Good luck!!
UT!! That doesn't mean I'm ready to plunk down a 30 year mortgage, join the PTA, and have a broodful of babies with them!! I just love them for who they are and the great companionship and times we share together. Honest to God why do so many people think that it has to be all "Here Comes The Bride", a picket fence, 3.2 freckle faced kids and a 2 car garage in order for "love" to exist. Why can we just love somebody for who they are? Why does love have to have so many conditions, contracts, rules, regulations...and on and on and on?!!!
I respect the boundaries that exist---I don't push for anything more than what the provider is comfortable with. All I can say is that there are a few very special girls I truly have affection for---no matter if I see them once a year or a dozen times a year. If I think you're a special person than that's IT---I don't care about anything else--just how beautiful you are inside as well as outside. And some of the most loving, kind-hearted women I've ever met have been in this particular "hobby" of ours!!
I either find women attractive or not. Most gals I've seen more than once, is because I've developed what I describe as a crush, is it a real crush no. It's more of an infatuation with their working persona, so I do kind of fall for providers to an extent.
...it's visualizing or imagining what comes next & what comes after that & by the time I have followed that trail to see all the potential problems & heartbreak I am able to get beyond the feelings that might hurt us both.
dog that caught the car:
n. A person who has reached their goal but doesn’t know what to do next.
It reminds me of that scene at the end of the Graduate when Dustin Hoffman's character breaks up his love interest's wedding at the altar and they run off together in a bus. Then they sit in an awkward uncomfortable silence for quite a while as it sinks in for them and the audience - uh, what do we do now?
I've had two ladies want to get serious. There were many tell tale signs, but the free sessions corroborated those signs. Of course, like you say, it won't work out, so why pursue it. One lady understood, and we continued seeing each other p4p, but the other did not, and I had to stop seeing her.
As far as the reverse, I like to think of it this way. There have been ladies, had we met in a different time, and or place, I would have pursued. We could have, quite possibly, fallen in love. But having met in this venue precluded anything from happening.
Love is not a cut-and-dried, one size fits all thing. The ancient Greeks identified several different forms of love, and not all of them are "marriage" types of love. Think about it. People love their spouses, friends, children, and dogs...but these are all different types and forms of love. Yes, I love the escorts that I see, and I love them dearly. But I know I can't provide them children and a white picket fence, so if they desire to have that "classic marriage" with me, I will have to let them know that they have to find it elsewhere. Then I will need to let them go, even though it will hurt.
To sum it up, figure out what type of love, if any, you are feeling for your client. Then you need to find out how he feels about you. Only then can you make an informed decision on how to move forward.
I'm currently in that type of situation with a provider. I have gotten to know her on a personal level and she has captured my heart. I'm not in love with her, but have developed feelings and truly care for her. It's too a point where I'm kinda jealous that she sees other guys which of course is totally stupid. To top things off there are certain things she doesn't do that in other providers would be reason to not see them anymore. Yet I still go back to essentially spend time with her because I feel this special bond. Hopefully I get over this soon.