I wonder if his "Girlfriend" reads his reviews?
That could be why she is a bit frosty. One of his other reviews reads about how "if he could afford to" That could be another reason for her not wanting to give up her job. He leaves for four months at a time, he is hardly rolling in dough AND he is not only fucking other women, but lusting after them as well. Damn, doesn't he sound like a catch. I am sure there are hookers lining up around the block to "take him off the market" lolLadies. Have you ever had a relationship with a normal guy not involved with the business while escorting with him knowing? How did that turn out? I've been with an escort for about 14 months now and we are starting to hit some Rocky roads. At first she said she would quit for me, then I could see her depressed because she did so because I love her I told her she can work. Our sex life diminished and we only have sex about once a week, and that is only when I am with her. I go on 4 month deployments every 4 months and she tours, so after all that time and finally we are together and it ain't fireworks anymore. We get into a lot of fights when I try to bring it up and she tells me I will never understand her life.I know her family and she knows mine, and wwhen I have had enough and walking out she stops me. She tells me she is a normal girl and this is a normal job, so I tell her why can't we have a normal relationship. I really love her but I'm afraid soon I am just in love with the fireworks we once had. Help me out women. Don't flame me men lol.
And "it ain't fireworks anymore" its time to leave.That sounds like an unhealthy relationship.I would move on
That's not the correct response to give. There's more to an exclusive relationship then sex(If that is the entire or part of the reason). So, many people forget that you have to connect on every level. Not just the sexual level. When you meet someone and you fall head over heels for that person. You need to stop using your dick or pussy to think with.
Or do you want free sex with a provider?
I'm sorry if that's harsh. But I think you already know the score.
Here's an example of such a relationship I know that works: provider has an SO. He fully supports her line of work. She does that five days a week, has another part time job, plus they work together in another business. Plus they each have kids and they share parental duties. Plus she goes to school. He does almost all of the "housework" in addition to his job but she's really busy and thus they don't have as much sex together as they'd like. She gets a lot through her job, so to even things out a bit she's fine with his playing with other women and in fact she even lines up dates for him (she has a lot of hot girlfriends). That's trust, and love.
That's not love. That's a fucking joke.
If you knew this couple, I think you'd change your opinion.
Oh... but you don't know them.
I hope you don't judge your clients like that.
By the OP's words, I agree, he and his "relationship" is a fucking joke. A bad joke perhaps, but a joke none the less.
You are not just a whore monger, you are a "hobbyist" who writes reviews.
I think you have answered your own question, Do both of you a favor and simply walk away. Whore mongers can have a successful relationship with a hooker, but it's obvious that the two of you have run your course. Time to let it go, or figure out a way for you to stop your four month deployments and her to stop being a hooker.
One of your key statements was that she was "willing to quit for you" that will never work. She needs to quit for her, maybe because she loves you, but she needs to do it because its what SHE wants, not simply to placate you.
You're already looking to take the next one "off the market" per your last encounter.
I'd say that line answers your question
I wonder if his "Girlfriend" reads his reviews?
That could be why she is a bit frosty.
One of his other reviews reads about how "if he could afford to" That could be another reason for her not wanting to give up her job. He leaves for four months at a time, he is hardly rolling in dough AND he is not only fucking other women, but lusting after them as well. Damn, doesn't he sound like a catch. I am sure there are hookers lining up around the block to "take him off the market" lol
Dating a civvie guy is definitely a challenge. Most guys are not cut out for it. It's very demanding emotionally and a lot of guys eventually tap out. I don't blame them.
Why do we fall for someone, then ask them to change for us, or allow them to want to change "for us"?
This behavior cements my assertion that romantic love among adult humans is bullshit, and I no longer believe in it.
If you, or I, say that we love someone, then we shouldn't want them to change. Do we all have vulnerabilities and frailties? Could we all be better? Should we all strive to continuously improve? Absolutely! But the underlying emphasis is that we change and improve for ourselves, and never for someone else. It doesn't work anyway, trying to change for someone else. The only way someone will change anything about themselves is if they want to change for themselves.
We are all born alone, and we'll all die alone, hopefully we make good friends and can be respectful to other living things along the way and we enjoy ourselves. Pets and children love unconditionally, and at some point children stop loving unconditionally and develop an agenda, it's human nature, as we so call mature.
I've said this before, I'll say it again: to some extent, every adult human you meet and know has an agenda, period. Adult humans don't love unconditionally, it's really that simple.
If you can't handle that this woman you supposedly care about, has sex with other men for a living or for her own self gratification, then perhaps you should let her go and search for your soulmate outside of this life and let her live the life that she's chosen and will obviously live regardless.
It's just sex, you a "hobbyist" yourself should know and understand that it's just sex.
Having read your sad pathetic posts for a couple years now, it's crystal clear that you were hurt...really badly.
Try looking in the mirror and I suspect the reason is staring back at you.
You exemplify the lonely old man who wonders why no one can be trusted. Check that mirror again.
People can and do amazing things for people they love. It's sad that you haven't ever made that connection. And from your repeated sad pathetic diatribe, you unfortunately never will.
Yep, you will most assuredly die alone.
This behavior cements my assertion that romantic love among adult humans is bullshit, and I no longer believe in it.
If you, or I, say that we love someone, then we shouldn't want them to change. Do we all have vulnerabilities and frailties? Could we all be better? Should we all strive to continuously improve? Absolutely! But the underlying emphasis is that we change and improve for ourselves, and never for someone else. It doesn't work anyway, trying to change for someone else. The only way someone will change anything about themselves is if they want to change for themselves.
We are all born alone, and we'll all die alone, hopefully we make good friends and can be respectful to other living things along the way and we enjoy ourselves. Pets and children love unconditionally, and at some point children stop loving unconditionally and develop an agenda, it's human nature, as we so call mature.
I've said this before, I'll say it again: to some extent, every adult human you meet and know has an agenda, period. Adult humans don't love unconditionally, it's really that simple.
If you can't handle that this woman you supposedly care about, has sex with other men for a living or for her own self gratification, then perhaps you should let her go and search for your soulmate outside of this life and let her live the life that she's chosen and will obviously live regardless.
It's just sex, you a "hobbyist" yourself should know and understand that it's just sex.
Too hard, the guilt trips and comments got to be too much. As much as we tried not to, it just came out. The small comments made me feel guilty before an appointment, or slutty and dirty when I came home.
I always wanted to fuck, but he never did. His balls felt too "nipped" I guess, me dating men who were supplying finances to me.
Funny, I remember him tearing up when I was leaving for an appointment. I asked what was wrong, and he said "I just feel so bad that you had such a wonderful time with me, and you have to go do this, I just feel bad for you." So like I had to pretend I didn't enjoy it I guess? I didn't get that part right. So I touched his face and said, "Don't worry! I love my job. Don't feel bad for me!"
D'oh.
To this day I am still seeing that client I left to see for the first time, and I'm so fucking glad I'm not in a relationship lol! Having the time of my life. And I don't feel guilty for enjoying it.
I would like to fall in love one day, but I know for a fact I wouldn't be able to make escorting work and a relationship work. Others might, but I know I wouldn't be able to. I'm too honest ha ha ha
And I can tell you one thing for sure it takes true acceptance. From your post I can tell her work doesn't sit right with you. Most relationships have lulls and the fireworks become less explosive. This is with consent work to maintain the relationship. You admit to being gone months at a time. That is hard on any relationship. Between you being gone and the extra honestly and acceptance open relationships require it is little wonder things are rocky.
If you want to save your relationship you have to come to peace she will never be faithful to your bed. She will fuck others for money and often she will enjoy it. You must also accept you are gone a lot so she must be independent and her own woman. You must accept her as she is. If you cannot do this best to leave now.
Now if you can come to grips with her career and lifestyle you need to reforge your relationship. Fist comes acceptance. Then comes honesty. You must date your wife. Make her feel special. Go on weekly dates you get dressed up for. Make a point to talk to her daily. Hold her non sexually daily. Show her why she feel in love with you. Give her reason to miss you when your gone. Relationships are work. You might also need professional relationship help.
-- Modified on 8/11/2016 7:56:28 PM
Is it her you are attached to or her work self? I have dated a client. It went well, but then he was neither trying to distance himself from his prior involvement in the hobby nor me from my continued one.
You mentioned the word 'normal' a lot. You also mentioned fireworks some. You realize that, for many civilians, sex once a week is 'normal'? Sometimes even less. Sounds like you wanted her to quit being an escort, but keep the escort libido. Escorts often do have notably high sex drives. There are some mood-killers, but we also have some very intelligent, charming clients who are fun in bed and, incidentally, aren't wanting our sex for free while complaining about not getting enough of it and pressing us to leave our source of income to become what they consider a 'normal' girl. Fireworks, indeed
Talk about nailing it on the head ... grand slam.
Having never seen you, maybe your just too hot
to leave ... then I can't say that I'd blame him
... as long as he leaves your career matters to you.
I am not sure why she quit providing if it was your request or hers or both mutual. I certainly would not tell my girl to stop and I am not going to stop. It sounds more like a real relationship to me. People fight and make exercising is alwasys good. Get over yourself and show her you care and love her not tell her. I bet your telling her not showing. I am sure things will work out either way. If not then next I say.
That was your first review in about 5 years. Unless that's your girlfriend, IMO you don't have a leg to stand on as far as her getting out of the biz "for you".
And yes I do have some experience in this matter. You are not ready to commit to her, so back off with the fighting over how she pays her bills already.
Steph :-/
Doesn't he sound like a "keeper" himself?
A broke dick who runs off for four month deployments, most likely doesn't contribute a nickel to the "household support", yet wants her to stop working. How else is she going to pay her rent, (and his) if she stops working?
I seriously hope she is reading this, it may just make the decision for him when she throws all his shit out on the street.
I have dated a lot of hookers over the years and yes in moments of weakness I have even toyed with the idea of asking a couple of them to "stop working" but then common sense got the better of me and I ask myself "then what happens?" I am financially capable of supporting a woman if she decides to stop working, but am I emotionally prepared for it? In my case the answer is sadly an absolute NO. At some point I am going to get bored with the relationship and then I am stuck with the guilt of fucking up some poor girls life just because I wanted her "all to myself" for a few weeks or months. I might be an asshole, but I am not an asshole who goes around ruining other peoples lives. It doesn't look like the OP can say the same.
It takes a strong man to be in love with a prostitute. Recommend you deal with it or move on and never look back.
and date/marry the boring girls. It's called having your cake and eating it too. I thought they thaught this in BT.
for about an hour at a time.
The sex is great (for me)
I pay them and they leave
A few of them are total sweethearts,
and it's easy to love them, but only for an hour.
That's it.
I don't confuse this (P4P) with romantic dating.
They are two different things.
I prefer this kind of dating because I'm
a selfish Bastard and I don't like to compromise.
-- Modified on 8/12/2016 9:41:58 AM
Hi
I have been guys from the industry and it never works. They like to control me and be little me.
In the long run it gets messy.
Alley
If it was your average 9-5 it would be legal and socially acceptable. I have dated within the hobby. Factually, if you are truly attracted to a person, have great chemistry, share a like sense of humor, have lots of time together and keep in touch regularly it is impossible not to develop feelings. When the feelings come into play it changes everything. It is very hard and awesome at the same time. The key to success is communication and acceptance. It isn't easy to date a provider. It's equally as challenging to date a hobby enthusiast. You can try to block it out...GOOD LUCK! Your s.o. is intimate with others and that's a tough pill to swallow.
Excellent points.
In my younger years I dated several strippers...owned a few topless bars...and then a couple escorts.
Doesn't work for me as I just don't share well.
Cannot see my love going out to sleep with other guys for money or just pleasure.
Small minded on my part maybe but I tend to pedestal my woman.
Sex is sex and that doesn't bother me in the least. I am very open about having an open sexual relationship. I just need the dates to be one and done. When it comes to affairs of the heart I am territorial. If you want to go get your rocks off with strange have at it. If you want to play Rico suave and romance her with wine and roses NO. LOL Sorry, there has to be something that is only mine.
My last hooker GF used to offer dinner and overnight dates before we got together, I never once asked her to quit, but she did stop offering extended type dates and NEVER answered her hooker phone "after hours"
I didn't DEMAND she do those things, but she did them of her own accord so as to make me feel as secure as possible that what we had was real and what she did at work was simply that "work".
Now for any of you guys that wonder what happens to all the wine, flowers and chocolate you give to your ATF's I can tell you, the flowers go almost immediately into the trash can, she drinks the wine with her boyfriend and as for the chocolates, yeah she probably eats them. lol
But again he would have to as well. There's really no need for that anyway. You have a dinner companion and someone to lay awake next to you listening to you snore. lol I guess dating a pro is a sure fired way to find out if her insatiable desire for the all mighty dick is fact or fiction.
Those relationships never lasted too long, except for one, but we decided to be "friends' after a few sexless weekends. OTOH, I have dated several hookers, including the one I was just talking about, who always had "plenty of gas left in the tank for me"
In that one case I never made a "vow of monogamy" but except when she had to tour, (not her choice, she was an agency girl) I just didn't bother seeing other women, If she had withheld sex I might have been justified banging other women, but I never went lacking for sex so I just didn't have the desire to fuck around on her. Go figure, right?
Honest injun, a week prior to and after I see my atf I have no desire to bed other people. Fortunately, he is really far away and I can't see him as often as I would like. OTOH I have had civvie boyfriends who make me run to my next date. Lol I think with my atf it's the honesty and freeness of the relationship that makes me desire to be his. Of course he is hot, hung and licks pussy like a master.
In that one case I never made a "vow of monogamy" but except when she had to tour, (not her choice, she was an agency girl) I just didn't bother seeing other women, If she had withheld sex I might have been justified banging other women, but I never went lacking for sex so I just didn't have the desire to fuck around on her. Go figure, right?
...you have 9 reviews, so you were in the life before you started your relationship...referring to yourself as normal whole holding her to a different standard is hypocritical...
There are obviously issues affecting both of you that need to be ironed out...you need to be accepting of her professional life and allow her her space to make a living, and from the sound of it she needs to be more mindful of making sure she's allowing for the time you need to be together and not let her job interfere with that time...I know I would not be willing to settle for leftovers were I in a relationship with a provider...
But mostly you have to do some growing up...
i agree with basically everything that's been said. if she gets out of the biz, it better be cuz she wants to and not for you. otherwise she'll resent you. based on your review, you're still in the hobby life so why can't she be? if that's too hard to manage, then that's fine... just be honest with each-other about it.
if you already took this girl off the market, why are you wanting to take this other girl off too? hmm...
I know of one very successful Sydney based high end escort who has been in a relationship with the same guy for years, who knows about, and is very supportive of her work and they seem very happy. I'm not sure how common that is though.
Over the years I've worked in this industry I've been in relationships on and off and not told a single one of them what my work is. It helps that I'm a Psych and so I still do that work as well. When I'm away or working everyone then presumes that's the work I'm doing and I keep it that way. I honestly don't know what it would be like to be with a guy who knew about this, let alone knew and didn't mind. I know it's weird but I think a guy knowing and not minding about me doing this I would end up not respecting very much! Human emotions are weird. While I kind of envy the Sydney lady I also wonder exactly how much her man benefits financially from their relationship, or whether he's just not that bothered about her?
Guys do you think you could be perfectly happy and in love with a woman doing this job? Would you want to know the details of her day or bookings? It's a minefield.
And I want to know about her day. If she has a good day I want to celebrate it with her. If she had a bad day I want to hold her and give her the break she needs. She is my woman and I am her man. The fact we both fuck others doesn't change that.
I think you confusing sex and love. They aren't connected. I have bedded many women but I only truly love one. Sure I care of a few of the others, but I do not love them, not like my wife. I have also loved people I never bedded.
And as for it being a mindfield, it really isn't. I know who my wife is, and I accept and love her as she is and who she is. I also know she loves me and accepts me. Part of who my wife is, is a very sexual woman who loves to please both men and women in bed. I don't honestly think she could be happy with only one partner. I am at peace with that. Hell I even payed for a few gigolos for MFM play.
-- Modified on 8/13/2016 5:26:10 PM
It is common missconception of some inexperienced couples that family life and relationships should be always "fireworks"
Develop more then just sex relationships.
That any normal man and woman would advise you - there is no all about bedroom.
Even tantra is not all about big " O"
yet .. as a woman I may say - we women we love many men .. just as males want have many women .
I think the best - it is experiment and move boundaries of traditional marriage - as she is an escort - she would be open to that.
But do not do that if you are spiritual strangers to each other.
You have to be a strong couple with many matching interests and spheres to eb abel to share true intimacy and true intimacy is not just in bedroom
so please accept my advance apology if it sound stupid or been repeated several times and other things.....
I said all relationship has its risk, regardless what your job/career is.....if you truly love her, you accept who she is. I do find one thing for sure if you having a relationship with a provider that you already know that she is a provider to begin with, you can't ask her to quit or believe her when she said she will quit for you.
You have to let her do it on her own, because i can see that her still providing is making you uneasy, and for all men who has relationship with a provider is probably going through the same, and this hard, and i can tell you that it would be very hard for me too if i have a relationship with a provider.
So it's your decision if you want to stay with her letting her keep working as provider or you can end it and move on.
Good luck!!! Best wishes to both of you.
In my case, my ATF is currently living with me having moved in about three months ago. One caveat though is that she is "retired". I'm not convinced that she will never work again, but for now, she's out of the industry. She lived and worked in another city/state but was ready to make a change and do something different. I can tell you that it isn't all fireworks and sex all the time. So if that is what you are expecting, you will be sadly disappointed. Regardless of what escorts may tell you, they are providing a service and working to provide a fantasy and an escape for you as the client. She may very well do things in her "work environment" that she doesn't really like to do in her personal life. Be prepared for that. I've never dated an escort or former escort in my real life, so it has taken awhile to get adjusted. And the ironic thing is that while I cheated with escorts on my ex-wife years ago (which lead to my divorce) as well as the other girlfriends I've had since, I'm committed to not doing so with this person. We've talked about her past and my past and we are both on the same page with respect to this being exclusive. In fact, we have both shared that being with someone who has been involved in the industry is probably our best chance for a "normal" relationship given that most civilians could not grasp or accept our past history (especially the volume of people we have seen). So, proceed with caution and with your eyes wide open and know that it will likely be unlike any other relationship you have had in the past.